Hear You, Hear Me
by SpringHiller09
Summary: Bella is a student at NYU and Carlisle is her charming professor. Innocent looks turn into something more and they begin your typical student-professor affair. But, when an affair turns into something more, they must face the consequences and chose between living their dreams, or being with the one they love.
1. Prologue: For Just Us

**Prologue: For Just Us**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"Miss Swan?" The secretary asked as she walked back into the lobby of the building. "The dean is ready to see you now." She whispered and I grabbed my bag and walked down the long, eerie hallway to his office. I took a deep breath and knocked, getting a gruff come in from the other side. I slowly turned the knob and opened the big, wooden door.

"Have a seat, Miss Swan." Dean Gregory said, sending chills down my spine. I sat down and tried my hardest not to make eye contact with him. He handed me a yellow, manilla envelope, and I barely paid any attention to it.

"What's this?" I asked, my voice barely able to be heard.

"Just, open it." He sighed. I took another deep breath and tore open the top of the envelope, and pulled out the papers that were inside. I turned the pages over and tears welled up in my eyes. It was pictures of the two of us together, holding hands under a table in the library, smiling up at each other as we passed each other in the corridors, and the last one hurt the most.

A picture of us kissing, his hands on my lower back...holding me.

"Where...?" I asked and I wasn't able to say anything else.

"I can't tell you who, but it was a student." He said. "She brought it up to me months ago. She told me she believed you and Professor Cullen were sneaking around together. But, without evidence, she couldn't prove anything."

"So?" I asked, trying to keep it together.

"Until I can figure out how to handle this particular situation, both you and Dr. Cullen are suspended until further notice." He told me and I felt nauseous. NYU was my dream school, and Carlisle had been working here since he received his doctorate. "I can tell you that both of you will suffer severe consequences."

"Yes, sir." I whispered. "Can I go now?"

"Yes," He sighed and I stood and ran out of the office.

Carlisle and I met my sophomore year. He was the charming, good looking professor and I was the girl from a small town in Washington. I was the nerd, always grabbing the seat in the front row, and taking notes. I did the work and got the grades I deserved. He seemed to notice me in particular because he was always calling on me, begging me to express myself in the debates in class.

After six months of innocent looks, and a few winks, he called me into his office. Being the naive girl, I thought he wanted to talk about a paper I'd done poorly on. But, I was very...very wrong. It seemed he'd taken more of an interest in me than I thought and the looks weren't as innocent as I thought they were. At first, it was the classic, typical student-professor affair. But, as time went by we grew more and more attached to one another and then...we just never stopped.

I ran into the building where his class was, and prayed he didn't have a class now. I just needed to talk to him...be with him. I got to his door, and noticed the sign on the door saying classes were canceled for the day and grew worried. Carlisle prided himself in never missing a class. I walked around to his office just to be safe, but the door was locked and the room was dark.

I found my way back to my building and threw my books in my room before getting in my old, beat up truck and heading to his house. I breathed deeply, willing myself not to cry. We would work something out...we always did. It was our thing. There was a problem, we'd find a way to fix it.

But, when I pulled up to his house my heart sank. He had a U-haul truck parked outside with boxes already inside. I got out and slammed my car door and ran up the walkway, pounding on the door. He opened the door, and my heart gave a sudden lurch for him.

"Hey," I whispered cautiously.

"Hi, Bella." He sighed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Dean Gregory had already talked to him. "We need to talk."

"No." I cried, letting the first tear fall. "No, don't do this."

"Bella," He sighed.

"This can't be it." I cried, grabbing his hand. I looked up at him, and the look I got from him to me it was. Whatever we had, was over.


	2. Undefined

**Chapter One: Undefined**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

**2 Years Earlier**

"Okay so you have your ticket?" My over protective mother asked as we put the last of my things in the car.

"Yes, mom." I sighed, rolling my eyes. "I have everything I'm going to need."

"Okay, your cell's charged, right?" She asked and I just closed my eyes in frustration.

"Yes." I laughed. "Mom, we did this whole crying thing last year."

"I know," She cried, brining me into a tight hug.

It was the end of August and I was about to leave my small town of Forks Washington and head back to New York City for my sophomore year at NYU. Attending NYU for college had been my dream since I was eight and my family took a trip to visit a friend of my dad's in New York. He gave a tour of the city and when I saw the campus, I just knew it was where I was meant to go.

Since it was on the other side of the country, my mom and dad weren't too happy when I told them I wanted to go. They tried multiple times to talk me into going to Seattle U or Washington State. But, I was set on NYU and there was no changing my mind. After multiple fights and countless talks, they reluctantly agreed to let me apply.

But, applying didn't mean I would get accepted. I worked my ass off in school for my whole life, but once they told me I could go I worked ten times harder. I took my SAT's three times and worked to get straight A's. But, I was from a small town and an even smaller school, getting the grades and the SAT scores weren't enough.

But, after months of waiting for the letter, I finally got the big envelope. I cried when I read that I'd been accepted and although my parents were happy for me, they weren't jumping and screaming about it. But, they were supportive and they were with me every step of the way as I packed and got ready to leave Washington.

"Mom, I'm going to be fine." I told her. "Nothing happened last year."

"That doesn't mean it will never happen." She reminded. "Bella, it's New York. I'm always going to worry."

"Well, you shouldn't." I said, rolling my eyes. "It's a safe part of town and I'm not an idiot. I know how to take care of myself."

"Rennee, we went through this last year." My father said, coming and closing the trunk. "Don't start again."

"I can't help it." She cried. "It was hard enough the first time...now we have to do it all over again."

"Okay, well we have a plane to catch." My father said, changing the subject. "Come on, Bells."

We piled into the car and headed to the airport. Since New York was so far, it was too much to drive and we decided to ship my stuff. It wasn't a very long trip, but my mother spent the entire flight, squeezing my fathers hand and starring straight in front of her. She was the first one off the plane and she sped away to baggage claim. We were able to find the few bags that I'd packed and hailed a cab.

My building was a lot nicer this year and my room was twice as nice. It was bigger with a lot more closet space and it was closer to the bathroom. My stuff had thankfully arrived and was waiting in my room. My roommate was scheduled to arrive tomorrow and I was incredibly happy because I got the bed choice. Unpacking was a nightmare as usual but we were able to get it done quicker than last year.

"So, should we go get dinner?" My father asked as I hung up some of my clothes. "Because I'm starving."

"Dinner sounds good." I agreed. "Should we go to Hayden?"

"Sure. Get your bag."

Dinner was surprisingly pleasant and my mother didn't cry when my dad dragged her to the hotel. It was so much easier to fall asleep that time around and I was well rested when my roommate got there the next morning.

"Hi!" She greeted as her and her family began bringing in boxes. "I'm Alice."

"Hey, I'm Bella." I smiled as she hugged me tightly.

"Oh, I can tell we're going to be really good friends." She said excited. "I have this like...sixth sense or something."

"I believe you." I laughed. "Can I help you? My parents should be home soon."

"That's be great, thanks." She smiled as she pulled me outside to her car. Once my parents arrived, the unpacking was quick and easy and we were done in a few hours. The parents went to go attend the presentations they had for the beginning of the year and Alice and I hung back and just got to know one another.

"Where are you from?" She asked as I helped her organize things.

"Forks."

"Where?" She laughed.

"It's a really small town in Washington." I told her. "Like, really small."

"Must be." She said. "Because I'm a geography nerd."

"A geography nerd?" I asked, trying to stifle a laugh. "Never really heard of that."

"Well, I've always wanted to travel." She explained. "So, you need to know geography to travel, right?"

"Right."

"So. Geography nerd." She laughed. "I wanna be an english teacher. Like, I wanna go to countries like France and Germany and teach the english class."

"That sounds...amazing." I sighed.

"What about you?" She asked. "What's your major?"

"Literature." I sighed. "I've always loved books. Always will. I wanna write."

"Write what?" She asked.

"Anything I can." I laughed. The two of us spent the rest of the day talking and getting to know each other. even after a day, I felt closer to her than I did any of my friends back in high school. There was something about Alice that made me like her. She was kind, energetic, smart, and I felt like I could trust her. Actually trust her.

After one more night, it was time for my parents to head home. They both had work, and I needed to be free. It was a tearful goodbye and it was hard watching as the cab drove away. Although I wanted more than Washington and Forks, I missed my parents. Even after spending a year away last year, it didn't make it any easier as I said goodbye.

* * *

After a few more days, it was finally time to begin classes. Alice and I were both minoring in psychology and were lucky enough to be put in the same nine o'clock class on Mondays. We got breakfast and headed down to the phyc building for classes. I was a nerd...always have been. I insisted on getting seats in the front and as we sat down, the rest of the class began filing in.

"Psychology." A mans voice boomed as a door opened. "What is it?"

"The study of the brain." A girl behind me answered. I looked up from my notebook and my breath was taken away. A beautiful, blonde man was standing in front of me. He was tall, and thin but I could see the muscles through his shirt. He had piercing blue eyes and I didn't miss the wedding band that was placed on his left ring finger.

"More specific." He said, sitting down on the edge of his desk.

"The study of behavior and why you do the things you do." I blurted out. "You must understand the individual who you're talking to or about."

"Very good." He smiled and standing up and grabbing a remote. He turned the lights off and the class started. It was the basic introduction day but it was good to be in class again. Although I loved summer and being home, I missed being in school. I missed being forced to think and put my mind at work.

"Excuse me?" Dr. Cullen asked me as I grabbed my bag.

"Yes?" I asked, turning around and trying not to stare at him. He was fucking gorgeous.

"I just wanted to give you props for your answer today." He said, sitting down. "I didn't think anyone would answer the way I wanted them to."

"Oh, the class that was offered at my high school went real in depth." I told him, even though it was only me who really went in depth. I spent the extra hours reading different text books and listening to real people talk about it. "If I didn't love reading so much, I'd probably be a psychology major."

"Do a double major." He shrugged.

"Maybe," I smiled as Alice came back in the room. "Well, bye." I said, waving at him and slinging my bag over my shoulder. Alice and I walked out, but we were barely out of the building before she pulled me aside and gave me this excited look. "What?" I asked.

"What was that?" She asked, pointing to the building.

"What was what?"

"You and the professor?" She asked. "You two were totally flirting with each other."

"Alice," I squeaked. "We were not."

"Well, maybe your weren't." She shrugged. "But, he was."

"No he was not." I sighed. "And besides, he's married."

"So?" She asked. "My father was married but that didn't stop him from cheating on my mother."

"What?" I asked since she called the man that was with her yesterday dad.

"Yeah, that was my step-dad yesterday." She shrugged. "Him and my mom got married when I was seven...two years after my dad left. I haven't heard or seen him since so he isn't my dad. Danny is."

"Oh, I'm...I'm sorry." I sighed.

"Don't be." She told me. "It's okay, shit happens and life goes on. But, don't try to change the subject."

"I'm not!" I argued. "We weren't flirting. He's my professor, I'm a student."

"Which makes it even better!"

"Alice, please." I begged. She seemed to get my hint and thankfully dropped the subject. The rest of my first week went well. Alice didn't accuse me of flirting with any other professors. But, she wouldn't stop nudging me and looking over at me when we sat down in the front row again at the next class.

"Can children be depressed?" He asked as he came out of his office at the beginning of class. "Stanley. Tell me."

"Yes." She answered simply. "They can be."

"How?"

"Well, children depression isn't the same thing as adult depression." I spoke up.

"We're getting somewhere." He laughed. "Continue."

"Well, they're very socially withdrawn. They're angrier than normal." I explained. "People usually call it 'masked anger'."

"Do you know why they call it this?" He asked, pointing to Alice. "Brandon?"

"Because they believe it's a child acting out." She answered. "Or they're angrier than usual."

"So what do we, as psychologists, how do we fix this?" He asked, turning on the projector. He continually looked at me, and asked me questions directly. I could see Alice giving me smirks from the corner of my eyes and I tried to ignore it, but the longer class went on I could feel what she was talking about. He was asking me a lot of the question and somehow was always focused on me.

"Now do you get what I was saying?" Alice asked at lunch later that day. "I mean, Bells...he was flirting. And you were blushing!"

"Okay, maybe there was a little bit of flirting...but it's nothing." I shrugged.

"Bella, he's one of the best looking professors at NYU." He pointed out. "And one of the youngest."

"What does age have to do with it?"

"Well, if you were to hook up, they age difference wouldn't be that much." She shrugged, smirking at me.

"Alice, we aren't going to '_hook up'_ He's married. And my professor. And too old for me."

"None of that really matters." She smiled. "Besides none of that really makes a difference. If there is an attraction, nothing is going to stop that."

"Look, Alice." I said sternly. "Nothing is going to happen with Dr. Cullen and I. It just isn't going to happen."

"Okay," She sighed. "But, if something does happen...promise you'll tell me."

"Okay, _if_ I hook up with our professor I'll tell you." I sighed, giving up on arguing with her.

"And in detail."

"Sure, I'll tell you if we do it on his desk."

"Ohhhh! YES!" She laughed, stealing one of my chips.

* * *

Time in college passed way quicker than in high school. Before I knew it, it was mid-October. The leaves were turning colors, things were cooling down, and the workload was becoming more intense. Dr. Cullen gave us a paper to write every other week and they were not easy. But, I seemed to be the only one who really understood what he was saying and what he wanted us to write on.

"Come on, let's go and see your lover." Alice laughed as she locked our door.

"Alice." I sighed. She put her hands up in defense and we began our walk to the phsyc building. The class began as usual. He came out and introduced the subject we were focusing on, ask one person and then turn to ask me. However, this day was different. He wasn't as enthusiastic about the lesson, and he was really only going through the steps.

But, as he was passing back our papers, I realized why he was so out of it. I noticed he wasn't wearing his wedding band, and I could see the light tan line from where he'd been wearing it for so long. He ended class early and I took longer than everyone else as usual.

"Your paper was very good, Miss Swan." He complimented. "Your points were very clear."

"Thanks," I smiled, trying not to give him pity. "Child bipolar disorder...it fasinates me for some reason."

"It is an interesting topic." He smiled, but it wasn't the usual smile he normally gave. It was sad, small and just not...him.

"Are you okay?" I asked without thinking. He was my professor, this wasn't something I should be talking about with him.

"My divorce...was finalized yesterday." He sighed, sitting down on the edge of his desk. "I figured it was time to take it off."

"Oh," I whispered, trying not to make eye contact with him. "I'm sorry."

"It's been a long time coming." He sighed. "It's been going on for two years now and it was only just completed yesterday."

"What happened?" I asked before I could just shut my mouth. This was my professor. Not my pal.

"Some people just aren't meant to be I guess." He shrugged. "Nothing really happened. No one cheated. No one beat anyone. Esme and I...we just weren't meant to be."

"I guess," I shrugged.

"I still love her." He told me. "I always will. But, we weren't meant to be together...forever."

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Bells?" Alice asked as she came back inside the room. Dr. Cullen and I stepped apart from each other as she walked further inside. "It looks like it's going to rain, we should get going."

"Yeah, I'll be right there." I said, shoving her away. She winked at me before bowing out and leaving the room. "Well, I...I should go."

"Yeah," He agreed. "But, here. Take this." He told me, handing me an umbrella. "I wouldn't want you to get all wet."

"Thanks," I whispered, smiling at him, taking the umbrella from him. Alice decided not to say something for once and we just walked in silence. Although it was a silent walk, I didn't miss the giggling and smiles she was making as we walked towards our dorm. Thankfully, Dr. Cullen gave us the umbrella because it began to downpour when we were halfway to our dorm.

As the day went on, I tried focusing on my work, but the only thing I could think of was Dr. Cullen and his beautiful eyes. The way he gave a sad smiled, and the way he just opened up to me.

_He's your professor_

I continued to tell myself that. Everything could go wrong if we started something. I could get kicked out of school. He could lose his job. There were so many consequences that I wasn't ready to deal with and I doubt he was either.

Besides, he _just_ got divorced. There was no way he was looking to start anything. But, if we _were_ to hook up, that didn't mean anything. It didn't mena we would begin dating, fall in love and get married. It meant nothing but sex.

For once, Alice let it slide and didn't pressure me into saying anything. We were able to enjoy the rest of the day together and he wasn't mentioned for the rest of the day.

"Hey, Alice?" I asked as I sat at my desk. "Do you have your phsyc book with you? I think I left mine in the room."

"No, sorry." She shrugged. "Jess didn't give it back after class."

"Okay, I'm going to go get it." I sighed, closing my laptop and grabbing my jacket. Thankfully, it stopped raining and I was able to get to the building without any problems. However, what I saw when I walked inside made my stomach drop. He was standing there, his shirt unbuttoned and his tie on the ground, attacking the lips of another girl.

"Oh," I cried as my breathing began to deepen. They quickly broke apart and I recognized the woman from another class room. I felt tears welling in my eyes and began backing up.

"Bella," He called as I ran out of the room.

This shouldn't hurt. There was nothing between us. Professor. Student. That's it. Him making out with another professor shouldn't affect me. He is single, free to do whatever he pleases. It _shouldn't_ hurt.

But, it did.


	3. Always Something

**Chapter Two: Always Something**

* * *

**Carlisle's POV**

I slammed the snooze button on my alarm and fell back on the pillow. I loved my job. I loved teaching and I loved NYU. But, the six a.m. wake up calls sucked. It didn't help that when I reached over for Esme, her side of the bed was cold. It had been cold for two years now. She would never be by my side when I woke up and I had to come to terms with that.

After hitting the snooze for the second, I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower. I soaked in the hot water and scrubbed my body with my Axe body wash. After shaving and drying off, I threw on my suit and head out into the kitchen.

I gave Esme the house when she asked for the divorce. She had our eleven year old son to care for, he didn't need to be dragged out of his house. Although the apartment I bought was nice, it wasn't...home. Every night I walked into an empty place and I normally said goodnight to Edward over the phone. I saw him a lot, especially in the summer, but he was with Esme.

I'd filed for custody, and I'd won but I thought it'd be best if she had him most of the time. She worked mostly from home and was with him a lot more than I was to begin with. I had him every weekend and every other holiday along with a month and a half in the summer. His room was ready for whenever he wanted to come over and hang out.

After grabbing a bowel of cereal, I headed out to my car and began my drive. After moving out, I decided to move into the city so the commute wouldn't be as long. The traffic was annoying and New York literally never slept but it was worth it not to have to drive from Queens to the city for work. I pulled into work and got out of the car, and took a deep breath. There was something different about the smell of campus to me.

I'd been dreaming about being a professor since I was five years old and my father took me to visit his old college. He gave me a tour of the campus and took me to meet one of his old professors and I just knew what I wanted to do. I was accepted to Georgetown University and began living my dream. I got a job at NYU right after graduation thankfully since Esme was six months pregnant by the time we graduated.

I walked inside into my classroom and just smiled up at the empty seats. I'd already been here for about two weeks, getting everything together but knowing that students were finally going to be coming in and learning today, made my almost giddy with excitement. Most professors here began complaining and I could see on their faces that they didn't want to be here, but I was different. I loved my job and I loved NYU.

I got the rest of my things together and went down to the work room to grab my coffee.

"Hi, Carlisle." Another professor, Maddie, greeted as she put her lunch into the fridge.

"Hello, Maddie." I sighed. I knew she was attracked to me...she wasn't subtle at all, even before the divorce. "How was your summer?"

"Not too bad." She laughed. "How about you?"

"Well, Edward and I went to Disney for a week." I smiled, remembering how happy he was that week. He wasn't eleven yet and I'd surprised him for his birthday with a trip to any theme park he wanted to go to. I thought he'd want to go to _Busch Gardens_ or _Splash Lagoon_. But, he told me he wanted to go to Disney and I was happy to take him. "But other than that, we just hung around."

"How's the divorce?" She asked, and I didn't miss the small smug on her face.

"It's a divorce." I told her annoyed. "Esme and I aren't together anymore and I only get to see my sons on the weekend."

"I didn't mean..."

"I gotta go, Maddie." I sighed, grabbing my coffee and walking back into my classroom. I made sure everything was ready and headed into my office to go over who I had in what classes. My first class was a class full of students who waned to minor in my subject, so it wasn't as big. I looked up at the clock and smiled. My first class of the year was filing in the room now. I took a deep breath and made my way into the class.

"Psychology." I asked as I opened the door and went into my classroom. "What is it?"

"The study of the brain." A girl in the back answered. Typical answer.

"More specific." I pleaded, sitting on the edge of my desk.

"The study of behavior and why you do the things you do." A girl in the front row answered. I looked down at her and couldn't help but smile. She was plain, simple but she was gorgeous. She had long, brown hair with chocolate eyes. She already seemed to know what she was talking about and I knew I already liked her. "You must understand the individual who you're talking to or about."

"Very good." I smiled, grabbing the remote to the projector. We began the introduction to the course and went over the syllabus and before I knew it, the class was over. Every filed out quicker than they came in, except for the girl in the front row. I glanced over at the name on her notebook. Bella. Bella Swan.

"Excuse me?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"Yes?" She asked, turning towards me and I had to take a deep breath to regain my composure. I hadn't thought anyone was this pretty since I mean Esme back at Georgetown.

"I just wanted to give you props for your answer today." I said, sitting down. "I didn't think anyone would answer the way I wanted them to."

"Oh, the class that was offered at my high school went real in depth. If I didn't love reading so much, I'd probably be a psychology major."

"Do a double major." I suggested as her friends came into the room.

"Maybe," She smiled. "Well, bye."

"Bye," I whispered as I watched her walk out of the room. I took a deep breath before my next class began coming into the room and I switched into 'major' mode. The rest of the classes I had hat day were dealing with students majoring or trying to get their doctorate in psychology.

"Hey, man." One of my colleagues and best friends, Emmett greeted. "You wanna go grab some lunch?"

"Sure." I shrugged, shutting everything down and grabbing my wallet from the other room. Emmett and I headed down to one of the nicer dining halls and got our lunch before most of the students piled in. Emmett was the heart throb professor on campus and when I was with him, I counted at least ten girls who sat down and oogled him.

"How's Rosalie?" I asked. He and his wife were expecting their first daughter and she was due in lest than three months.

"She's good." He smiled, taking a bite of his sandwich. "She's starting to freak about how big she's gotten, but she's good."

"Esme nearly threw a temper tantrum at me once." I laughed. "She kept yelling that I made her fat...and then ended up crying about it."

"Yeah, thankfully Rosalie hasn't had many mood swings." He sighed. "There's one here and there but they're never too bad."

"Well, good for you."I laughed.

"So, how're you doing?" He asked as he looked down at my wedding band. I told him over the summer by the time school started, I would have taken it off. But, I just couldn't bring myself to part with the ring since it would be saying that Esme and I were over.

"Fine," I lied. "I had Edward for two months this summer and he chose to go to Disney world for his birthday."

"That sounds like fun," He sighed. "Carlisle?"

"Yeah?"

"When are you going to take your ring off?" He asked.

"Soon." I told him even though I've been saying this since Esme filed for divorce. "I can't yet, Emmett. Taking off the ring means Esme and I are really over,"

"But, Carlisle..."

"We aren't really over...yet." I protested. "the divorce isn't final yet."

"But, it will be soon." He pointed out. "And I think it would be good for you to realize that now rather than when it is final."

"I can't," I said, shaking my head. He let it go and we finished eating as we talked about how Disney was and names him and Rosalie were thinking about. I headed back to my building as another class was filing inside.

* * *

Soon, it was October and it was time for the divorce to be finalized. I tightened my tie around my neck and looked down at my left ring finger with my band still on it. She wasn't going to be wearing hers...she hadn't since she filed for divorce. I took a deep breath and slid the golden band off my finger and set it down on my dresser top. I grabbed a granola bar and headed out to the office.

I parked the car and saw her car across the lot. This was it. This is what she'd been asking for for two years and I kept putting it off. But, even though what she wanted sucked, I was always willing to give her what she wanted. And she wanted this divorce. I wanted her to be happy and she was going to be happy once this was finalized. I walked through the big glass doors and saw her sitting on a couch, reading her book.

"Hey, Es." I whispered as I walked up to her.

"Hi, Carlisle." She smiled at me, closing her book. "How're you doing?"

"Fine, how much longer do we have?" I asked, not really wanting to make small talk with her right now.

"They said it shouldn't be too much longer." She whispered as I saw down next to her. I could see her fidgeting with her book and she finally just put it in her bag. "Edward's still talking about Disney."

"Really?" I asked since he normally raved about something for a week and then let it go.

"Yeah, he really had a great time."

"Good," I sighed as her lawyer came out into the lobby. We stood and followed him back into the conference room. My lawyer came in not too long after and soon, we both had papers in front of her. We were instructed that this means the divorce is finally over with and we will no longer be married. I watched as she flipped through the pages, signing and dating as I just sat there.

"Dr. Cullen?" My lawyer asked, snapping me back. "Are you going to sign?"

"Oh," I sighed, looking over at Esme who was avoiding me. "Yes." I finally picked up the pen and began signing the papers. The lawyers collected them and we were free to go. Esme and I walked out together and it wasn't pleasent.

"So, I'll drop Edward off usual time?" She asked as she unlocked her car.

"Yep." I answered coldly, making my way to my Mercede's. I decided to take the rest of the day off to clear my head. I changed into sweats and just sat in front of the TV, watching football and eating Chinese food. I felt like a teenage girl who just got broken up with. The next day it was time to return to school and I was dreading it. I didn't have my ring on anymore and other professors were going to begin giving me pity looks. Emmett and Maddie were the only ones who knew Esme and I had split up.

The only good thing about today was Bella was in my first class...at least I had something to look forward. Maddie was in the break room and thankfully, she only looked at my bare finger, but kept her comments to herself. Finally, at nine o'clock, the class began filing into the room and I felt better when I saw Bella sitting in the front seat. Why this girl made me feel so happy and why I wanted to smile when I saw her was beyond me. She was pretty and smart, but she was a student here. I was a professor. These thoughts shouldn't be in my head.

I could tell I wasn't my usual self today as the students weren't as into my lesson as they normally were. Bella seemed to be the only girl who really participated, but even that wasn't too different. As I was passing back papers, I didn't miss the look Bella gave me when she saw my ringless finger. When class was over, she was the last person to leave, as usual.

"Your paper was very good, Miss Swan." I complimented. "Your points were very clear."

"Thanks," She smiled at me, and I could tell she was fighting the urge to make it a pity smile.. "Child bipolar disorder...it fasinates me for some reason."

"It is an interesting topic." I agreed.

"Are you okay?" She asked me out of the blue.

"My divorce...was finalized yesterday." I sighed, sitting down on the edge of my desk. I shouldn't be discussing this with her. She was my student and I was her professor. I should be talking about how upset I was with Emmett. Except, Emmett already knew how upset I was and I wouldn't be seeing him until lunch. Bella was right here. "I figured it was time to take it off."

"Oh," She whispered, and I saw her trying not to make eye contact with me. "I'm sorry."

"It's been a long time coming. It's been going on for two years now and it was only just completed yesterday."

"What happened?" She asked me.

"Some people just aren't meant to be I guess." I shrugged. I just couldn't stop myself from telling her this. "Nothing really happened. No one cheated. No one beat anyone. Esme and I...we just weren't meant to be."

"I guess,"

"I still love her." I told her. "I always will. But, we weren't meant to be together...forever."

"I'm sorry." She whispered again.

"Bells?" Alice asked as she came back inside the room. I stepped back from Bella as she came into sight. "It looks like it's going to rain, we should get going."

"Yeah, I'll be right there." Bella told her, and I didn't miss the wink Alice gave her as she walked out of the room. "Well, I...I should go."

"Yeah," I agreed. "But, here. Take this." I told her, handing her an umbrella. "I wouldn't want you to get all wet."

"Thanks," She smiled as she grabbed her bag and walked out of the room. The rest of the morning was pretty much the same and Emmett and I decided to stay in my room and eat today. I didn't really want to see anyone I didn't have to see. Thankfully, he distracted me by talking about how the NYU Violets were doing this season...he was an assistant coach and told me they were on a winning strike.

"Really, you should try and come to a game." He suggested.

"I have Edward on the weekends." I reminded him.

"I don't think he'd mind going to a football game." He laughed. "Really, I'll get him the behind the scenes action. Bring him back to the locker room."

"Edward's not a sports kid." I told him. "He plays the piano and watches orchestras on TV...not football."

"Okay, but if he ever changes his mind." He laughed. Emmett did a good job distracting me and I was thankful. I didn't need anymore of a reminder that it was legally, and officially over. When my last class of the day was leaving, I saw Maddie walking inside.

"What's up?" I asked, shutting off the projector.

"I have these for you." She told me, handing me a manilla envelope.

"Thanks." I sighed, looking inside at newspaper articles.

"Are you okay?" She asked, sitting on my desk. I sighed, she knew I was officially divorced now. She didn't need to make me relive it by talking about it.

"You know what's wrong." I sighed, pulling her off my desk.

"Carlisle," She sighed. "It's been two years coming. You just...gotta get back out there."

"It's been a day, Maddie."

"No, it's been two years." She pointed out, walking over to me. "It's time you just..."

"Just what?" I asked as my breathing got heavy. She was standing way too close, but I didn't mind. The sexual sound of her voice, the close proximity, the way she grabbed my tie. It all turned me on for some reason. Maddie was not an ugly woman and I'd always been attracked to her, just not in this way before.

"Have some good ol' meaningless," She whispered, standing up on her tiptoes and reaching my ears. "Sex."

"Maddie," I warned, trying to pull her off me.

"Carlisle," She whispered, nibbling on my ear. At that moment...I figured she was right. Esme and I hadn't been together in two years. It was time I just...get over her. And Maddie was willing to help me. I pulled her away and attacked her lips with mine. She moaned into my mouth as she brought her hands up to my hair and began tugging on it.

I deepened the kiss and dropped my hands to just above her butt as she began untying my tie. She dropped it on the ground as I hitched her leg over my hip, creating the friction we both wanted. She began unbuttoning my shirt and then I heard a deep breath, and it wasn't Maddie.

"Oh," A girls shaky voice said. I broke away from Maddie and saw Bella standing there, tears in her eyes. I just stared at her until she began backing up and turned to run out of the room.

"Bella!" I called as I buttoned my shirt back up. I gave Maddie and apologetic look as I chased after Bella but by the time I got outside, she was no where in sighed. "Damn."

"Who was she?" Maddie asked as she came to stand next to me.

"She's one of my students." I sighed, sitting down on the steps.

"She's got a crush on you." She laughed.

"Maddie,"

"What? She ran out of the room in tears, Carlisle." She pointed out as she stood up and walked back inside. I felt terrible for doing that to Bella. She didn't deserve to be brought to tears because I was kissing another student. But, it didn't matter what I did with another professor, Bella was my student. It would never work and I really shouldn't feel bad for her seeing what she saw.

But, I did feel terrible.


	4. Tell Me

**Chapter Three: Tell Me**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"What happened?" Alice asked as I came into our dorm room and slammed the door shut. I grabbed the bottle of Vodka she kept in a _Sprite_ bottle and took the cap off. "Bella!"

"What?" I asked as I took a sip of the Vodka. I winced as it went down my throat and as I was about to take another drink, Alice took the bottle out of my hands. "Hey!"

"Bells, what happened?" She asked. "You _hate_ Vodka."

"I like it." I lied. "Sometimes."

"Bella, you know I know you better than this." She said and I sat down on the bed. "Are you going to keep lying to me?"

"He was kissing someone." I told her. "Another professor, I think."

"Who? Dr. Cullen?" She asked and I only looked at the ground. "Awww, Bella. I'm sorry."

"It's fine." I lied again. "It doesn't matter. It isn't like I liked him or anything."

"Bella, that's a lie and we both know it." She whispered. "It's okay you know?"

"What is?" I asked, wiping the tear that I was trying to ignore.

"The fact that you like Dr. Cullen."

"I..." I was about to lie again, but I knew she'd just catch me again and call me out on it. "It's just a crush. All students have them eventually."

"True." She laughed. "I had a crush on my second grade gym teacher. What a man." She laughed, looking straight ahead.

"It's no big deal." I said, putting the bottle away and going to my desk.

"Bella, if it wasn't a big deal...you wouldn't be so upset." She told me before going back to her homework. Alice was right. This might be more than a crush. If it were a crushed, It would have stung when I saw them, but I wouldn't have ran out crying. I wouldn't have come back and took a sip of Vodka. I didn't even know what to think of anymore.

I mean, logically, he was my professor. He taught me, graded me, and on occasion, talked to me after class. That was the contact we had with each other. Nothing more, nothing less. But, when I thought about him in another way, he was so much more. He was kind, smart, cute. He looked and seemed to be the guy that I dreamed of meeting when I was on the play ground when I was little.

But, I would never have him. I'd have to search for the man who was all those things, but my own age. Someone who didn't teach me. Someone who wouldn't be at risk if we were to hook up.

Thankfully, I didn't have to see him for another week, but walking into his room the next class, I had butterflies in my stomach. I didn't want him to think I was some dumb teenager who had some monumental crush on him...even if I did. I put my paper in the bin and took my seat, three rows back. I couldn't be close to him today...it would just be awkward for both of us.

"Psychopath and sociopath." He asked coming outside. "What's the difference?"

"Sociopaths feel they're entitled to everything." Alice answered. "They will never show any remorse."

"Psychopaths?" He asked, looking at me. "Miss Swan?"

"They are very aware of what they're doing." I answered, not looking at him. "They do the things they do for fun. Because they're board."

"Do they show remorse for what they've done? Who've they killed?" He asked, and I looked up and saw him looking at me. "Who they've hurt?"

"They never own up to what they've done. No." I answered, looking away.

The class went on as usual and despite my desperate attempts, I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I could feel his eyes on me as I packed up my things and when I looked up, he was looking at me.

"Miss Swan?" He asked. "May I speak with you?"

"Sure," I whispered, walking down the steps and standing near him. "What's up?"

"You didn't sit in the front." He noticed.

"Alice didn't want to." I lied. "Is that it?"

"No." He said. "I wanted to apologize."

"For?"

"What you saw the other day." He said, bringing up a memory I really didn't want to relive. "It wasn't professional of me to be getting...involved with a coworker here at school, in the classroom."

"It's none of my business." I told him.

"Maybe not." He agreed. "But it doesn't make what I did ethical. Or professional."

"Hey, classes were done for the day." I told him. "For everyone. I should have knocked."

"No, I told you." He protested. "My door is always open."

"Well, maybe you should lock it every once in a while." I spat as I turned and walked out of the room. Great. Now I was acting like some bitch teenager who didn't get what she wanted and started acting like the girl from hell. I already walked in on him and someone else, I didn't need to make this even more awkward than it already was.

Alice didn't press me on anything when I got outside and we just headed towards our dorm.

* * *

October soon turned into November and New York was getting cold. Almost all the leaves had fallen off the trees and I was back to wearing my winter coat. Dr. Cullen hadn't said anything to me directly since that day and I was grateful. I still saw the two of them in my head vividly and I didn't need him actually reminding me it happened. Although I was still kind of hurting, I was back to sitting in the front and I didn't miss the little smile he gave me when I started sitting there again.

Class was just about to end and he was passing back our most recent papers. I wasn't worried, I got straight A's on all his papers and I felt confident this wouldn't change anything. But, when he handed me my paper, I almost felt sick. A C was written on top...and I'd never gotten a C before. Not even in high school. I didn't even realize when people stood up to leave.

"Miss Swan?" He asked. "Can I see you in my office?"

"Yeah," I said without actually knowing what I was doing. I picked up my bag and followed him into his office. I smiled when I saw how neat it was and then when I saw a picture of a boy on his bookshelf. "Is that your son?"

"Yeah," He smiled, looking at the picture. "He turned eleven a few months ago."

"He definately is your son." I laughed as he perched himself on the edge of the desk.

"Look, Bella," He started, catching my attention. He always called his students by their last name and I'd never been an exception.

"I know, this paper wasn't my best."

"That isn't what I wanted to talk to you about." He told me. "I wanted to talk to you about why you've been ignoring me."

"Why I've what?"

"Been ignoring me." He said and I just shook my head. "I'm so sorry that you saw me and Professor Morris together back in October."

"It's your business." I argued.

"But, I want you to know. Nothing's happened since." He told me and I just looked at him in confussion. Why was he telling me this?

"Okay? Good to know...I guess." I said. "But, why are you telling me this?"

"Because I don't want you to think I'm involved with anyone." He told me. "I'm not...that guy."

"That guy what?" I asked.

"The kind of guy who gets divorced and just sleeps with random women."

"Thank you for telling me?"

"Bella, are you really not getting this?" He laughed and I just shook my head. His expression then turned serious as we locked eyes.

"Getting...getting what?" I asked, my breathing becoming heavy as I looked at him more closely. He looked almost broken, but strong at the same time. Sad, but happy as could be. His eyes told me everything about him and then it hit me.

"I'm attracted to you, Bella." He whispered and my breath caught. This professor of mine was telling me that he was attracted to me. This was crazy. I wasn't anything special. I was average at best. I rarely wore make up and I never really dressed up. He seemed to notice me shaking because he grabbed my hands to stop it.

"Dr. Cullen..."

"And I know you...you feel something towards me." He whispered, pushing my hair behind my ears. "If you didn't...you wouldn't have ran out of the room crying that day."

"Well..."

"You don't have to lie to me, Bella." He whispered, leaning down closer to me. My breath caught when he brushed his lips against mine, but then I was very aware we were in his class. I gently pushed him away and he looked almost hurt.

"This isn't a good idea." I sighed. "Your my professor. We could both get kicked out..."

"Only if we get caught." He smiled down at me and for a moment, I believed it was a good idea.

"No, this isn't..." He didn't let me finish though. He kissed me again, but deeper this time. It only took a few seconds for me to melt away into his arms. His hands began slipping lower and lower on my back until they were brushing against my ass. I deepened the kiss and caused us both to moan.

"When...when's your next class?" He asked in between kisses down my neck.

"Not...until...after lunch." I breathed. He was making it very difficult to concentrate. Between his lips on my neck and his hands on my ass, I was lucky I was still standing at that point. Once he sucked on my neck just a little harder, he literally had to hold me up so I wouldn't fall. His lips traveled back up my neck until they were on my lips again and he began pulling me towards his chair.

He pulled away for a second, only so he could clear a spot on his wooden desk for me. I grabbed his tie and pulled him back into me, attacking his lips. He lifted me up into his arms and I wrapped my legs around his hips, causing the friction we both wanted so badly. He laid me on his desk, but I did nothing to unwrap my legs from him. He pulled away again and shed the jacket he was wearing.

"Shit," He mumbled, standing up, causing my legs to fall from his waist. "We can't. I don't have a...a condom."

"I'm on the pill, Dr. Cullen." I laughed.

"Thank god." He sighed, picking my legs up and rewrapping them around his waist. "And, call me Carlisle."

Carlisle. Sexy as hell.

He began kissing me again and then traveled down to my neck again, and then down my belly. I squirmed at the feeling of his lips on my lower stomach and grabbed his head to pull him up towards me again. I reached for his tie and loosened it enough to pull it over his head, letting it fall to the floor. He pulled me into a sitting position and yanked at the hem of my shirt. I lifted my arms so he could pull it over my head.

Once my shirt was off. He began kissing down my stomach again until his tongue dipped into my belly button.

"Shit," I moaned as I squirmed some more. He unbuttoned my jeans and slid them down my legs, and they met my shirt on the floor.

"You're beautiful, Bella." He whispered when he saw me tense up once I was only in my underwear. "Don't forget that." I decided to distract myself from feeling exposed by unbuttoning his crisp, white shirt. When it finally fell open, my mouth dropped. He was built. His abs were beautifully sculpted and his pecks were huge.

"Wow," I whispered, causing him to laugh. I pulled the shirt down off his shoulders and let it fall to the floor. I pulled him back and kissed him again, even more heated than before. Soon, all that was left was his boxers, and my panties. I couldn't wait any longer. I pushed his boxers down with my feet as I lifted my behind so he was able to get my panties off.

"Oh..god." I sighed when I saw how..._big_...he was.

"We'll go slow." He said, giving me a soft smile. I wasn't a virgin...but Mike was not _that_ big. He slowly pushed into me and although it stung a little, the pleasure was greater.

"Fuck!" I yelled once he was deep inside me. I looked him in the eyes and gave him a soft smile, making sure he knew it was okay. He began to slowly push in and out of me and I tightened my grip around his neck. I pressed my feet into the desk, trying to get a new position. He seemed to sense this and picked me up and sat down in his chair.

I steadied my knees at the edge of the chair as he grabbed my hips and began riding him harder and faster than we'd just been going.

"Fuck, Bella!" He moaned as he tightened his grip. "Shit!" He mumbled, standing up again and putting me back on the desk. He began pumping into me and once he'd hit my g-spot a few times, he pushed me over the edge.

"Shit! Carlisle!" I yelled as I came harder than I ever had before. He came not long after me and fell limp on top of me. We stayed still for a few minutes, trying to regain mobility. He pulled out of me and I whimpered at the loss of him. He gave me an apologetic look as he picked his boxers up off the floor.

"I...I hate to do this...but I have a class in a few minutes." He blushed as I stood and picked up my bra.

"It's okay, I should go." I laughed. "Alice is going to start to worry where I've been." I told him and I saw him lose some of his color.

"You..you aren't going to...tell her?"

"No." I said immediately. "This...we aren't like a thing now."

"Yeah..."

"I mean...this was just sex." I said, trying to convince myself that's what I wanted. "No stings attached...no...anything."

"Right." He mumbled, buttoning his shirt. "Just sex."

We finished getting dressed and I helped him smooth out his hair for his next class. We said our goodbyes and I walked out of his room, feeling weightless and amazing.

"What's that look?" Alice asked as she sat down for lunch. I looked up, trying to wipe the smug look off of my face but I just couldn't. I couldn't shake the feeling that I just had sex with my professor. "Oh my GOD! You had sex!"

"Shhh!" I sighed, trying to get her to calm down. This was hard enough without her freaking out on me. "Yes,"

"OH MY GOD!" She screamed as I covered her mouth with my hand. "You and...you and Dr. Cullen?" She asked, bringing her voice down to a whisper. "That's why he asked you to stay after class?"

"Yeah. Apparently...he's attracted to me..." I told her and she squealed again. "But, it's not like this is going to be an on going thing."

"Why not?" She asked.

"Because...he's my professor."

"That ship sailed, Bella." She laughed.

"What I mean is it's not going to turn into any kind of relationship." I mumbled. "It was just sex."

"Just sex?"

"Yes." I answered, not even knowing if I was lying to myself or not. "Just good sex."

"So, it was good?"

"Oh yeah!" I told her. "Better than Mike."

"Mike...your ex-boyfriend...guy you lost your virginity to?" She asked. "Guy you said was the best."

"Yep."

"Ohhhh Bella I'm jealous." She squealed. "Can I ask something?"

"I guess."

"Did you do it on the desk?" She asked, a huge, cheesy grin on her face.

"Yep." I answered. "And the chair."


	5. Best Defenses

**Chapter Four: Best Defenses **

* * *

**Carlisle's POV**

_What had I just done?_

I continued to ask myself that question until I went to bed later that night. I'd had sex with one of my students. A nineteen year old girl minoring in physiology. I'd told her that I was attracted to her...that I didn't want to be just her professor. Whatever that meant. I tried shaking it off, but once I got my mind off of it, it went right back.

I couldn't stop thinking of her. She was amazing in every way possible.

I couldn't stop thinking of the consequenses we'd have to face if we were to get caught. I trusted her, but I already knew she told Alice. Those two were attached at the hips and I just had a feeling. Alice I knew wouldn't say anything, but what if someone else did? What if someone came by my office and heard something? There was too much at risk for both of us.

But, I couldn't help myself. She was just so...amazing. All of her papers always blew me away, she constantly sat in the front, and she was respectful. There was also a vibe that I got from her, saying she felt the same way about me. I wouldn't have said anything to her if I knew she didn't feel that way.

I was also relieved when she told me it was 'just sex' and assured me we weren't a thing. I didn't take Bella for one of those girls who forces her way into a relationship with someone just because they slept together. I felt terrible for what I'd done. Esme and I had been dating for over a year before we had sex, and I didn't even know Bella's middle name and I'd had sex with her. But, the divorce was too fresh in my mind. I didn't want any type of commitment and when I went over my options, Bella was the only person who made sense.

It was a sleepless night. I kept tossing and turning, trying to figure out if it was really worth it to have slept with Bella. In my head...it wasn't. It was morally, ethically and just plain wrong. She was my student for god sake! But, it my heart...it was right. It was so right. I never felt so...connected to someone before, not even Esme. Being with Bella...just opened my eyes in a way.

I barely got to work on time and I was a mess all day. I dropped papers, began teaching the wrong lesson to a class, and gave graded papers to the completely wrong class. I needed to get this off of my chest, even though I shouldn't have been talking about it. I needed to say something. Get some reassurence.

"You mind if we just eat in my room?" I asked Emmett after we'd gotten our food from the dining hall.

"No problem." He said, already taking a bite from his sandwich. As we were making our way outside, Bella was coming inside. Like I predicted, it was awkward. She bumped into me and when she looked up and saw who it was, froze up and looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Alice was finally able to drag her away, but Emmett had already noticed something weird.

"Who was that?" He asked as he opened the door to my room.

"A student of mine." I told him, trying to keep calm.

"_Just_ a student?" He asked laughing. "Because it almost seemed like you two..._you know_. Had sex." He laughed, and I only stayed quiet. Emmett was smart, it wouldn't take long for him to understand. "Carlisle?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you?" He asked, his mouth falling wide open. When I didn't answer, he nearly choked on his lunch. "Carlisle!"

"What?"

"You know what's going to happen if the dean finds out?" He asked. "You two are both going to be in huge trouble."

"I know." I whispered. "She was...she was worth it."

"She was _worth_ it?" He asked. "She was worth losing your job?"

"Look, Dean Gregory isn't going to find out."I defended. "No one is going to tell him. The only people are You, Bella, me and I'm pretty sure Alice knows. That's it. None of us are going to tell him."

"What if someone heard?" He asked, and I felt sick. There was a possibility someone heard. Weather it was a student or another falculty member. "This is dangerous, Carlisle."

"What? It's not like we're going to fall in love with each other and start a relationship." I defended. "It was just sex and it probably won't happen again."

"I hope for your sake it doesn't." He groaned. "So, we finally decided on a name." He smiled. It was a good thing since she was due in two weeks.

"Oh yeah?" I asked. "What's that?"

"Ariana Grace." He smiled. "It took four months, but we were actually able to find a name we liked."

"How'd you pick it?" I asked. Edward was named after Esme's grandfather and Anthony came from my great-grandpa. But, I knew no one in Emmett's family had those names.

"It's dorky." He laughed. "But, we were listening to the radio and some song called The Way came on. Anyway, Rose liked it and looked up who it was by and the girls name was Ariana Grnade...we both just knew that was her name."

"You're right." I sighed. "It is dorky."

"I warned you."

"But, it's a good name." I laughed. "Thanks for not naming her Blue Ivy."

"That was our second choice." He laughed. He didn't give me anymore crap about Bella and we enjoyed our lunch together. Thankfully, after talking to Emmett, my afternoon classes went a lot smoother. My last class of the day was filing in when he came bustling through the door.

"She's in labor!" He yelled, shaking me. "Rosalie's in labor!"

"Okay, calm down." I laughed, taking her hands and removing them from my shoulders. "Do you need me to do anything?"

"Drive me." He sighed. "I'm not gonna be able to drive." He told me and I looked up at my class. They were my doctorate class, but they could handle it by themselves. Emmett needed me right now. I gave them a reading assignment and printed the presentation out for everyone to look over. I grabbed my suit jacket from my office and Emmett and I headed out to the parking lot.

Emmett was fairly calm as we drove to the hospital, but I could see his knee couldn't sit still. It was a surprisingly quick drive from campus to the hospital, and we were there within half an hour. Emmett's nerves finally got the best of him and he raced into the lobby.

"Rosalie Hale." He spat. "Rosalie McCarty, I mean. She's my wife and she's in labor." He told the nurse. "She' having a baby. My baby."

"Okay, sir." The nurse laugh. "Labor and Delivery is on the third floor and your wife is in room 319."

"Thanks." He said, but his feet didn't move.

"You need me to come with you?" I asked and he only nodded. I had to pull him away and into the elevator, but I knew he was ready for this. The two of them had been planning for a baby since they got married, but the timing was just 'not right' He wanted this and I knew once he held his daughter, he'd be a great father. A mother turns into a mother when she finds out she's pregnant. A father doesn't become a father until he holds his baby.

We walked into her room and saw her with her younger sister, Anna sitting by her side. Anna looked up at us and left her post so Emmett could sit next to her.

"Babe?" He asked as she turned to look at him. "How do you feel?"

"It hurts." She wined. Four hours had passed since her water broke and she was only two centimeters dialated. Emmett asked me to stay with them and I wasn't going to deny him. It came in handy having me around when Emmett disappeared for forty-five minutes to cool off, wrap his head around things. Finally, after fourteen hours of labor, Rosalie was ready to push.

"I hope she's cute." Anna whispered as we waited in the waiting room together. Rosalie's parents we pacing around the room while Emmett's decided to stay closer to the delivery room. "I'm sure she will be though."

"Are you?" I asked. Rosalie's parents hadn't planned on having another kid after Rosalie. The pregnancy had been overly difficult for her mother and they decided Rosalie was all they needed. But, when Rosalie was thirteen, her parents surprised her with the pregnancy. Rosalie took being a big sister in stride and was there with her through thick and thin. Anna was barely able to drive or else I feel like getting to the hospital would have been more of a hassle.

"Well, my sister's gorgeous." She stated. "And, Emmett...well he's...hot." She laughed.

"He is a good looking guy." I laughed. I'd known Emmett since we started working together when he was right out of grad school. We'd been together through thick and thin and I was the first person he told about proposing. He didn't have any siblings and moved around when he was a kid due to his fathers job. I'd grown to know his family as well as Rosalie's and I was happy to be sharing this day with them.

After an hour, Emmett finally came through the swinging doors, looking tired but as excited as I'd ever seen him.

"She's here." He sighed, his breathing heavy. "She's breath taking."

"How much does she weigh?" Mrs. Hale asked.

"Seven even." He told us. "Anna, Rosalie's asking for you." Anna looked at her mother and got a nod and a nurse led Anna back to Rosalie. I turned towards Emmett and he wrapped his arms around my neck. "She's beautiful."

"It's an amazing feeling, isn't it?" I asked. "Meeting your child for the first time."

"Yeah," He whispered. "I thought our wedding day would be the day nothing could live up to. No day would ever be better. But, this day surpasses it by miles."

"Edward being born was _the_ happiest day of my life." I told him.

"You wanna come meet her?" He asked and I smiled at him. I hadn't been around a little baby in so long. I walked inside and saw Anna sitting by Rosalie again, the cradle next to her bed. "Hi, sweetie."

"Hey, you find someone?" She asked, smiling at me.

"Yep, some random guy wanted to come say hi to Ariana." He laughed. "If you wash your hands, you can hold her."

"Thanks," I smiled, walking over to the sink and throughly scrubbing my hands. I walked over to Rosalie who was holding the baby and she gently handed her over to me. I looked down at the precious bundle of joy in my arms and my heart just melted. She was the cutest baby...girl...I'd ever seen. She was so perfect.

"She's...she's perfect." I sighed, never taking my eyes off of her.

"Carlisle, Emmett and I were talking." Rosalie began saying, but I still never looked away. "And, you have done so much for us, we wanted to do something for you."

"We were wondering if you'd like to be Ariana's Godfather." Emmett asked and my head shot up to look at them.

"Me?" I asked and they only nodded. "What about Anna?"

"I'm already the cool aunt." She laughed.

"You're like a brother to me, Carlisle." Emmett told me. "We want you to be apart of our family."

* * *

A week had passed since Ariana's birth and it was time for the class I had with Bella again. I took a deep breath as people began walking inside and completely stopped breathing when Bella and Alice came into the room. I was able to get through the lesson without doing anything to expose either of us. The only thing was Alice's looks to Bella every time I made eye contact with her or called on her.

Bella, as usual, was the last one to be packing up her things. I tried not to make things awkward, but it was too late. It was already awkward.

"So, you understand the paper?" I asked, trying to just create a conversation.

"Yeah," She laughed. "It's not very difficult."

"Well," I sighed walking up and standing closer to her. "Maybe I should make things more difficult."

"Maybe," She smiled, leaning in, causing our lips to meet. I wrapped my hands around her waist and played with the hem of her shirt. This was wrong. It was supposed to be a one time thing. But, at that moment, I didn't care. At all. She clung to my neck as I lifted her up off the ground. I heard her moan into my mouth as I began grinding against her, creating the friction we both craved.

"Shit," She moaned as I set her down on the front desk. She began untying my tie and undoing my shirt. I reached down and began pulling her shirt over her head. And then. There was a knock at the door.

"Damn it." I sighed. "Hold on!" I called buttoning my shirt and retying my tie. She composed herself as I went to open the door. I groaned inside when I saw Maddie standing there. She'd been trying to get with me since Bella walked in on us, but I didn't want any of it.

"Hi, Dr. Cullen." She said, cheerfully, letting herself inside. "I have to talk to you about something." She said and then stopped as she saw Bella still in the room.

"Thanks for the help, Dr. Cullen." She whispered, grabbing her bag and quickly walking out of the room. I was so looking forward to seeing her and Maddie just scared her away. I turned towards Maddie and I noticed her top buttons were undone just a little too low.

"What did you need, Maddie?" I asked, sitting down on the edge of my desk.

"I wanted to ask you about the student eligibility list." She said, walking over to me and straddling my leg. "But, that can always wait."

"Maddie, no." I sighed, pushing her away.

"Why not?" She asked, still not letting it go. "I mean, you were all ready a few months ago."

"Maddie, I was upset." I told her, pushing her away again and standing up. "I'd just finalized my divorce...I was...I was..."

"You wanted me, Carlisle."

"No, I didn't, Maddie." I told her. "Please let it go."

"Fine," She huffed, walking out of the room.

"That went well." I sighed, straightening my tie before heading into my office to grade tests. As I was getting up to leave, there was a knock on the door and I prayed it wasn't Maddie. But, I was pleasantly surprised when I saw Bella standing there. "Hi, Miss Swan."

"Hello, Dr. Cullen." She greeted. "I was wondering if you could help me with the prompt for the paper. I don't quite understand."

"Sure, come on in." I smiled, stepping aside so she could walk past me. "Now, what was it that you didn't quite understand?" I asked, locking the door and moving to the classroom door to lock that as well.

"Well, it was the question." She laughed as I got closer to her. I grabbed her shirt and pulled her in closer to me. "Can you please help me...professor."

"I suppose." I smiled. "But, there's a price."

"I'll do anything to get a good grade on this paper...Dr. Cullen." She said, her voice becoming more and more seductive.

"Okay, Miss Swan." I laughed. "Just know, you asked for this. I'm willing to do anything and everyhting I can to help."

"That's all I ask." She said, leaning in and attacking my lips. This time, we did have to stay quite. We both didn't take very many precautions last week and there was no way in hell I was getting caught. I lowered by hands on her back until they we resting firmly on her butt. I picked her up and wrapped her legs around my waist as I carried her to the desk.

But, fate wasn't exactly agreeing with us that day because just as she got my tie off, my phone wrang.

"Fuck!" I muttered as I let go of her and reached around my desk to answer it. Unfortunately, calls just couldn't be ignored here. "Hello?"

"Carlisle?" I heard Emmett's voice on the other line. "She won't stop crying."

"Who?" I asked, not really paying attention to what I was asking.

"What do you mean who?" He asked as I heard Ariana's screams in the back round. "Ariana...she won't stop!"

"She might be hungry."

"No, Rosalie fed her right before she left." He said. "That was only a half hour ago."

"Where's Rosalie?" I asked as Bella jumped off of the desk, and headed for the door. I grabbed her wrist, pleading for her to wait.

"She had a doctor's appointment." He sighed over the babies cries.

"Have you tried rocking her?" I asked, knowing that when Edward was extra fussy, that's what it took to calm him.

"No." He whispered. "I'll try that."

"Okay, call me if you need anything." I told him, hanging up. I turned towards Bella again, smiling at her. "Now, where were we?"

"Well, you were showing me your unethical ways of helping me with my paper." She said, unbuttoning my shirt. "And I wasn't complaining. It was actually quite helpful."

"Then, shall we continue with your lesson?" I asked as she lifter her arms. I gently slid the shirt over her head and listened as it fell to the floor.

"Of course, Dr. Cullen." She whispered in between leaving hot kisses down my neck. "You know how important my education is to me."


	6. What You Meant

**Chapter Five: What You Meant**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"So, where have you been all night?" Alice asked as I came inside. I only shrugged as I grabbed my shower stuff. "Oh no Bella Swan. You aren't going anywhere until I know where you've been all night."

"No where." I lied. I'd already told her about the first time, that was risk enough.

"Can I guess?"

"No."

"Oh come on!" She begged. "You promised me you'd tell me!"

"And I did, even though I promised Carlisle I wouldn't."

"Carlisle?" She asked and I realized I'd used his first name. "That's...hot. But, then again, hot guys always have hot names."

"Not always." I laughed. "So, how's Jasper been?" I asked, desperately trying to change the subject. She had been going on dates with a guy on our floor, and last I'd seen, they were getting serious. Fast.

"Good." She shrugged. "But, he isn't as juicy as Dr. Cullen."

"No, he's just not someone for you to gossip about." I laughed. "Alice, I really can't say anytihng."

"Look, you already told me you two slept together...what does it matter if you give me more details?" She asked with her damn puppy dog look. "Please."

"Fine, we almost got caught." I giggled. "This afternoon after class. Some snooty professor came in."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, the same one he was making out with earlier this year." I shrugged. "I think she's in love with him or something."

"Who wouldn't be?" She laughed. Alice and I spent the rest of the night gossiping about Dr. Cullen and everything that happened in his classroom that night. I knew it was wrong and we shouldn't have been...especially since he had asked me not to. But, I couldn't help it. It was the biggest secret I had and I knew I could trust her. Plus, who was she really going to tell?

It was a near sleepless night, but in an amazing kind of way. Every time I closed my eyes, I thought of Carlisle and how insanely amazing her was and how gorgeous he looked as he slammed into me. I was exhausted in the morning, but it was worth it. I was finally beginning to see all the good in this and wanted to stop worrying about everything.

"So, did you finish your Cullen paper yet?" I heard Jessica ask another girl in my class. I stiffened at the mention of his name. I was paranoid and I had a right to be. Everything we'd done could get both of us kicked out of NYU.

"Nope. Haven't started it yet." the other girl laughed. "But, I don't even know what to write about. I can't freaking pay attention in class."

"Me either. But, who could blame us?" Jess asked. "I mean, he's fucking gorgeous."

"I wonder if he's ever had sex with a student?" the girl asked, causing me to choke on my drink. "Maybe he'll help me out with some extra credit."

"Or me." Jess laughed as they stood up to leave the hall. Alice and I separated for our afternoon classes, but we were back with each other just when my coffee high was wearing off. Just as the person was handing me my very large cup of coffee, I saw a familiar blonde head of hair from the corner of my eyes. I turned and smiled at him as he ordered.

"Hello, Miss Brandon." He smiled at Alice, and I even saw her blush. "Miss Swan. How are you two today?"

"Very good, Dr. Cullen." Alice giggled as she grabbed her change and found us a table to study at.

"Well, I hope I was able to help you on your paper last night, Miss Swan." He said, but I didn't miss the smile that crept up on his face.

"It did, Dr. Cullen." I sighed. "Thank you."

"Anytime." He smiled. "My door is always open."

"Thank you." I said. "Well, I should be going."

"Of course. Have a good day, Miss Swan." He called as he left the cafe and I sat down with Alice. She just gave me her all knowing look and went back to her textbook. After two hours at the small cafe, Alice and I headed back to our dorm room where Jasper was patiently sitting on the floor near the door. I rolled my eyes as he stood up to greet her with a kiss and hug.

As much as I enjoyed Dr. Cullen and what we were doing behind closed doors, I wanted something like Alice and Jasper. Something innocent. Allowed.

"Bells, it cool if he hangs out for a bit?" She asked as I unlocked the door.

"No." I said with a straight face, just long enough to make him think I was serious. "Of course, Alice."

"Yay!" She squealed, kissing him again. I walked into the tiny room and sat down at my computer, opening my email. I checked for mail from my mom and Angela, my best friend from high school, and was pleasently when I found a message from Carlisle.

"Hey, Alice?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"Did you get an email from Dr. Cullen?" I asked before I opened it.

"No, sorry."

"It's fine," I giggled as I read it. It was completely innocent, him asking to see me about one of my papers, but I knew exactly what he wanted. "Dr. Cullen wants to discuss something with me."

"Oh?" She asked, winking at me. "What?"

"A paper I think." I shrugged, pulling on my jacket and grabbing my keys. I made my way across the campus and found myself standing in front of his building.

_This is a bad idea._

I kept telling myself this, but it didn't make me turn around. I kept walking and before I knew it, I was knocking on his office door. My heart melted at the sight of him. His tie was already off, his shirt was untucked, and his top buttons were undone.

"Hi," He smiled.

"Hello." I sighed. "I got your email. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," He told me, stepping aside to let me in. When I was setting my things down, I finally noticed the pictures on his bookshelf. The picture that caught my eye was him and a young boy, standing in front of the MGM hat in Disney World. Without thinking, I continued to snoop and ended up picking up another picture of him, holding a new born.

"Is this your son?" I asked. Obviously it was his son.

"Yeah, he just turned eleven this year." He smiled, coming over and grabbing my shoulders. "It's weird, thinking of how old he's getting. And how now...we have separate birthday parties for him." He sighed, walking away. I took a deep breath. This was not something affairs talk about. We were supposed to talk about how good the sex was and how to cover everything up.

"I'm sorry," I sighed, walking over to him.

"Me too," He smiled. "This is wasn't I emailed you about."

"Oh, it wasn't?" I asked, sitting down on his lap. "Then, what was it about?"

"Well," He smiled, kissing my neck. "I was planning to talk about my divorce and son, but I think what you might have in mind is much more fun."

"What was my idea again?" I asked as I stood up and began unbuttoning the rest of his shirt. "Because, I might need help remembering?"

"Well, I think I can show you." He said, pulling me back into his laps and attacking my lips. We spent the next half hour naked, in his office, on his desk. "So, I really did have something to talk to you about."

"You did?" I asked, trying to stifle my laugh. The past few times he'd called me in here, it was to do exactly what we just did. "Oh, you're being serious?"

"Yes, Bella." He laughed, sitting down on the edge of his desk. "I wanted to talk to you about doing a double major."

"Carlisle, I don't know if that's such a good idea." I told him. "I'm already swamped with work with only one major."

"I know," He agreed. "And I know that it'll be difficult and the workload with be...terrible. But, you have such a...knack for psychology."

"I have a knack for it?" I asked, not even trying to stifle my laugh.

"Yes. You do." He told me, being serious. "Bella, you are constantly getting A's in my class..."

"Well, I am sleeping with the professor."

"Bells, you know that's not why you're doing well in my class." He warned. "And you're debates are just...incredible. You are way to smart in this class for it just being your minor."

"Carlisle, high school was easy for me because it wasn't that hard." I explained. "My school was small and the classes weren't very hard. But...NYU is a whole different story."

"Bella, I've seen your grades." He sighed. "You're doing fine."

"Yeah, because I'm working my ass off." I told him. "Two majors...it's just not going to happen."

"Okay," He said, backing off. "But, if you do decide to take my advice and do a double major, I'll help you. Every step of the way."

"Thanks, but no thanks." I smiled, leaning in and kissing him. "I should get going. Alice is going to start wondering where I am."

"Ehh. Who cares." He laughed as he stood and walked me out. We said our goodnights and I headed across campus to my dorm and was pleasantly surprised when I saw both Alice and Jasper had their clothes on. Last time they were alone and I walked inside...I saw much more of Jasper than I ever wanted to.

* * *

The next two weeks had to be the most amazing I'd ever had at NYU. Alice was too busy with Jasper to interrogate me about Carlisle, and the time I spent with Carlisle got even better. The more we were with each other, the closer we got. I learned that Esme had an affair and although she apologized and wished to stay together with him, he just couldn't. He didn't want to be asking himself if she really was where she said.

He was the one who asked for the divorce and although she didn't want things the end, she agreed to it. They stayed as close as they could and decided not to tell anyone about her affair. It was their business and Edward didn't need to be destroyed over it. He told me that although Edward was upset, he understood.

"He really is a great kid." He sighed one day as lied on the floor together. "I mean, what kid do you know of that it actually okay with their parents getting divorced."

"There aren't many of them." I agreed as I sat up. He handed me his shirt to put on as he pulled up his boxers.

"I'm sorry, we seem to be talking about this kind of stuff too much."

"It doesn't bother me." I smiled, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "I think it's great that you love your son so much."

"I just wish I could see him more." He sighed. "I love having him on the weekend, and I wish I could see him during the week...but with both of our schedules, it was just easier this way."

"Yeah,"

"I mean, you've seen how late I'm here sometimes." He began explaining. "When we were married, I'd take my work home with me to see him, but it's just easier getting it done at school."

"Makes sense."

"But, I miss him." He sighed. "I miss seeing him everyday, hugging him goodnight instead of saying it over the phone."

"He gets it."

"Gets what?"

"Why you only get him over the weekend." I explained. "If he's as good a kid as you're saying he is, he understands. And, once he's older, you'll see him more because he'll be able to drive to see you if he wants to."

"You make a valid point." He laughed, coming over and grabbing my waist, pulling me into a kiss. "What time is your flight tomorrow?"

"Ten." I sighed. I hadn't planned on going home for Thanksgiving since it was such a short break and it was so expensive. But, my mother booked all of my flights before I even left for school this year and I was forced to go home for four whole days. It really was pointless, especially since Carlisle offered to keep me company over the break.

"Don't look so happy." He snickered. "It's only four days."

"Exactly. It's totally pointless for me to fly home, eat dinner, and fly back." I sighed. "It's a waist of money."

"Maybe to you, but to your parents its money well spent."

"I guess." I sighed, leaning in and giving him a peck on the lips. "Do you get him for Thanksgiving?"

"Esme and I are on good terms." I shrugged. "We're going to do Thanksgiving and every other holiday like we used to."

"And that is?"

"The three of us are going to go to her parents who moved to Staten Island after we move here and we're going to have a good time." He laughed nervously. "But, this time we're divorced and I don't think it's going to be as pleasant."

"You two are going to make it work just like you've been doing since she had the affair."

"I guess you're right." He sighed, tightening my grip on my waist. "I kinda wish you didn't have to go." He admitted. "I was kinda looking forward to having you all to myself."

"Don't start," I laughed. "Or I won't get on the plane tomorrow mourning."

"I guess you're right." He sighed. "I don't want you here at all! Yuck!"

"Much better," I laughed, leaning in and kissing him again. The two of us stayed like that for what seemed like hours until my phone went off. I found it in my jeans pocket and sighed when I saw Alice's text. Reminding me I hadn't even started packing yet.

"I should go." I sighed, pulling on my panties. "I still have to pack and I was hoping to get some reading done before break."

"Yeah, I have to get the apartment ready." He sighed as I handed him his shirt. "After Thanksgiving, Edward's coming to stay with me while he's on break. I get him for four days."

"See, there is a silver lining." I laughed as I pulled my shirt over my head. I fought back the tears that began forming as I saw him buckling his belt. This was stupid. We were just having sex. It was nothing special, and I shouldn't be upset about leaving him for a little break. He seemed to notice my mood change because he came over and hugged me tightly.

"It's only a couple of days, Bella." He whispered comfortingly, stroking my back. "Before you know it, it'll be time to fly back."

"I know." I said, wiping the tear that fell away. "I'm just being stupid."

"Never." He smiled, leaning in and giving me another kiss. It took olympic strength to pull away from him and walk out of his office. Jasper had already left by the time I got back to the dorm, and Alice wasn't one to miss when someone was upset.

"You okay?" She asked as I pulled my duffle bag out from under my bed. "Bella?"

"I'm fine." I lied, not letting her see my teary eyes.

"Bella, I'm not dumb." She laughed. "I could see your eyes from a mile away."

"It was just kind of hard saying goodbye to Carlisle." I admitted, throwing things into my bag. "It's no big deal."

"You...you had a hard time saying goodbye to Dr. Cullen?" She asked, sounding very confused.

"Yeah,"

"Bella," she warned.

"What?"

"Do you think you're getting a bit too attached to him?" She asked. "I mean, I thought you guys were just having sex...and now it's hard to say goodbye to him?"

"I know it was hard saying goodbye to Jasper." I pointed out since he lived all the way in Texas.

"Jasper and I are in a relationship." She pointed out. "And he isn't my professor."

"why are you acting like this?" I snapped. "You're the one who wanted me to get involved in the first place."

"Yeah, for a fun night." She told me. "Not to start a relationship."

"We aren't in a relationship!" I told her. "We're just sneaking around."

"If you were just sneaking around you wouldn't be all upset over leaving him for four days so you can go home." She explained, and she was right. I was heading down a dangerous path. I was actually developing feelings for him, even though we both agreed it was just sex. If it was 'just sex' it wouldn't hurt when I had to leave him for a school break. If it were 'just sex' I wouldn't want to hear about his son and ask about what happened with him and his wife.

"It's hard to say goodbye to anyone for me." I lied. No matter how close I was with someone, saying goodbye had never been an issue. It stung when I said goodbye to Angela and my parents, but I never felt this upset. "It's no big deal. Really."

"Okay, I'll believe you." She sighed, giving up. I knew she was lying. She didn't believe me but as long as she quit asking me about it, I didn't care.


	7. Midnight Sun

**Chapter Six: Midnight Sun**

* * *

**Carlisle's POV**

"It's only a couple of days, Bella." I whispered, trying to take my own advice. I really didn't want her to leave. "Before you know it, it'll be time to fly back."

"I know." She sighed, and I saw her wiping her face.. "I'm just being stupid."

"Never." I soothed, leaning in and giving her another kiss. Since it was late and she did have to pack, she had to get going. It was hard to say goodbye to her and I was beginning to feel very nervous. We were both in it for sex...that's what I kept telling myself. But, if it were just sex...I wouldn't be feeling so upset over her leaving and she wouldn't be in tears. I decided to head over to Emmett's apartment for some much needed advice.

"Hey, Carlisle." He greeted as the door swung open. Ariana was three weeks old now, but she was still a handful and Emmett hadn't been back at work yet. "What's up?"

"I just needed to talk to you." I sighed. I hadn't really seen or talked to Emmett since Ariana's baptism. I really did miss him on campus. "About...Bella."

"Oh," He said, his face focusing on me. "What's going on? Did you two get caught?"

"No. I don't think so anyway." I sighed, sitting down on the couch. "I...I think we might be getting too attached to each other."

"Too attached?" He asked. "How?"

"Well, their Thanksgiving break starts tomorrow and she's going home to Washington for it." I told him. "And when we were saying goodbye, she started to cry and I really, really didn't want to let her go."

"Oh," He sighed, scratching the back of his neck.

"I really wanted her to stay on campus."

"I thought you two were just hooking up?" He asked.

"We were." I told him. "Are. It's just a hookup."

"Carlisle, if it was just a 'hookup' like you claim...you wouldn't have cared if she were going home."

"But, nothing can happen between us."

"Something already has happened, Carlisle." He told me. "The minute you told her you were attacked to her, something happened."

"But, it isn't like we can be in a relationship."

"Why not?"

"Because she's a student."

"That didn't stop you from having sex with her." He kindly reminded me.

"Well, it wouldn't be a real relationship." I argued. I was fighting a battle I already knew I was losing. The truth is, I wanted more with Bella. I wanted to take her out on a date and take her back to my place. I wanted to have sex in a bed, not just on my floor or desk. "It would never work."

"Carlisle, you live far enough away from campus no one would catch you." He reminded me. "Why wouldn't it work?"

"Because," I argued. "I should be stopping it...not starting something completely different. And, why are you tell me this? You've been telling me to stop ever since I told you."

"She makes you happy." He shrugged. "I haven't seen you talk about anyone like this since Esme. I haven't seen you really smile since the affair."

"Bella's a really sweet girl." I told him. "She listens to me when I tell her about Edward and held my hand when I told her what happened with Esme. The real story, not the 'we fell out of love' bullshit we keep telling people."

"You've talked about Edward to her?"

"Yeah, I've even bragged a little." I smiled, not understanding where he was going with this.

"And you told her about what really happened with Esme?"

"Yeah, she asked."

"Carlisle, this is not sex anymore." He told me. "You have feelings for this girl."

"No, no I don't." I denied, even though he was right. I was developing strong feelings for Bella and it wasn't a good idea. Nothing about our relationship was a good idea.

"Carlisle, it's okay." He whispered. "You can tell me."

"Okay, maybe I do." I sighed, not making eye contact. "But, it doesn't matter. Nothing...like that...is going to happen between us."

"Look, Carlisle, I don't know who this Bella girl is." Rosalie sighed as she walked into the room with Ariana in her arms. "But, if you have feelings for her, don't deny them. Do what your heart is telling you to do."

"It isn't that simple, Rosalie." I sighed. "It's really complicated."

"What relationship isn't?" She asked as she handed me the baby. I looked down at her, and just like every other time, my heart melted. She smiled up at me and I gave her my finger to suck on. I wanted this again. Esme and I always talked about having another, but we never got around to it. I loved Edward, but I wanted another baby.

"I think you should go for it." Rosalie sighed. "I mean, what do you have to lose?"

"Everything." I whispered. I stayed for another hour or so until it was time to put Ariana back to sleep.

"It'll work itself out, Carlisle." Emmett assured me. "Just, don't push anything."

"Yeah," I sighed.

* * *

I was up bright and early on Thanksgiving. I was giddy with excitement as I put the groceries away for my weekend with Edward. It had been so long since we'd had a decent amount of time together and these five days were going to give us some real good time to spend with each other. I pulled into the driveway that used to be my house and smiled. I loved my apartment, but nothing campared to this house.

I used my old key and let myself in. Miles, Edward's Golden Retreiver was the first one to greet me. Other than Edward, I missed having a dog the most. The building I lived in didn't allow big dogs and I wasn't going to get some small mutt.

"Hey, boy." I laughed as he licked my entire face. "How're you doing, huh?"

"Dad!" I heard Edward yell as his chair scooted across the floor. He came running towards me and nearly knocked me over.

"Hey, bud." I laughed as he hugged me tight. It had only been three days since I saw him last. "How're you doing?"

"Good. Come here!" He ordered, pulling me up the stairs to his room. He dug in his backpack for something, and then he shoved a piece of paper in my face. "Look!" He squealed and I finally noticed the big, red A on the top of the page.

"Awesome job, son!" I complimented. Him and math did not get along so an A on a test was the best thing that could happen to him. I also noticed the date was from Monday and it was the subject the two of us worked on all day on Sunday. "I'm really proud of you, Edward."

"Thanks, dad." He nearly blushed. Edward and I had always had a special relationship and he wasn't one to hide it. It also helped that he didn't want anything to do with Esme while they were in public, but that was me acting like a child. "When are we leaving for Pap's?"

"I'm not sure." I shrugged as we walked back downstairs. "Where's your mom?"

"On the porch." He told me as he sat back down to his breakfast. I walked outside and sighed when I saw Esme with a cigarette in her hands.

"I thought you were quitting." I sighed, making her jump. She quickly put it out and tried to pretend like nothing had happened. "Es, I'm not stupid."

"Look, I'm cutting back." She told me. She'd picked up the disgusting habit when her mother died when Edward was five. I tried and tried and it wasn't until her doctor really warned her did she even begin to think about quitting. She never smoked in the house or around Edward, but it was gross and she would end up dead because of it.

"Cutting back isn't quitting, Esme." I sighed.

"I know." She sighed. "I'm down to two a day now. One in the morning, one at night."

"Your lungs don't know that."

"Who are you to tell me what to do and what not to do?" She spat. Esme was never one to get angry over someone trying to help.

"I don't know." I shrugged. "Your ex-husband. The father of your son."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"What time are we leaving for your dad's?" I asked, changing the subject. We didn't need to be fighting today.

"I told him we'd be there around one." She sighed. "Edward has been dying to play you something." She told me. Something was off with her. She was too distant, and I didn't think it was because of the argument we'd just had. I went back inside and Edward dragged me to the room where we kept his piano.

"Okay, I'm still learning this." He sighed, placing his hands on the keys. He was no prodigy, but he was very talented for an eleven year old. When he was done, he looked over at me almost nervously. "So?"

"Well, Edward," I sighed, pretending to be disappointed but when his face turned from happy to fearful, I decided to drop the act. "Edward, that was amazing. What was that?"

"It's called A River Flows in You." He shrugged. "Yiruma composed it."

"I don't even know who he is so he must be good." I laughed. Edward was the one who brought musical culture in my life and the only songs I recognized were ones I'd heard in movies or TV commercials. "It really was good, Edward."

"Thanks, dad." He smiled. The two of us spent the next few hours in his room or at the piano. He and I could talk about anything and not get board with each other. It were these times that we spent together that I missed having him all the time. I just wanted things to go back to the way they were, but they never would. Esme and I were over and I had Bella.

Kinda.

We headed out of the house and got to her dad's house in the knick of time. Something really was worrying me about Esme. She was acting completely out of character, especially when she missed the turn onto the highway.

Esme's brother and his family were already there by the time we pulled into the driveway and I was happy for the distraction. Her father and I got along, but we weren't best friends and every time we were together, he found a new thing he didn't like about me. It was weird since we talked about the same things every time.

"Hello!" Esme called through the house as we came through the front door. Edward headed upstairs to find his cousin, Danny, and the two of us made our way into the kitchen. It was chaos, as usual for the first few minutes, but everything seemed to calm down quickly.

"So, Carlisle, we haven't seen you around here very much." Her father observed as we snacked on crackers. "But, I guess we wouldn't since you divorced my little girl." And there it was. I was wondering how long it would take him to call me out on the divorce.

"Daddy, don't." Esme warned. I looked over at her and she looked too pale. I really was getting worried.

"Esme, are you okay?" I asked.

"Fine," She lied. I knew her better than anyone. She wasn't fine. "Would you all excuse me?" She asked, standing and walking towards the stairs. I sat and talked with her brother for a few minutes before growing worried. This wasn't her.

"I'm gonna go see if she's okay,"

"Sure, now you care about how she feels!" Her father called as I walked upstairs. I heard her from behind the bathroom door and knocked.

"I'll be out in a minute!" She called, and she sounded like she'd been crying. I turned the knob and I could feel all the color draining from my face. There was throw up and blood in the toilet and she was covered in it. "Carlisle,"

"Esme, oh my god!" I called, rushing over to her and checking her out. "What...what the hell?"

"Dad, what's going on?" I heard Edward ask from behind me. I stood up, being sure not to let him see Esme and led him out of the room. "Is mom okay?"

"Yeah, she isn't feeling too great, buddy." I sighed. "She's gonna be fine. But, can you go get your Uncle Tyler, please?"

"Sure," He sighed and I turned to go back inside. Esme was trying to stand, and I rushed over and stopped her.

"Hey, don't." I told her, carefully setting her down on the edge of the tub.

"Carlisle, I'm fine."

"Esme, you're covered in blood and there's blood in the toilet. You aren't fine." There was a knock on the door and Tyler came inside with the same look I had.

"What the fuck happened?" He asked, rushing over to his sisters side.

"I'm not sure." I sighed. "Help me get her to the car?"

"Yeah," He agreed, moving to her other side and picking her up. We were able to get her to the car without anyone noticing and Tyler went inside to tell everyone what was going on. Edward stayed at the house while the two of us drove her to the hospital. We got Esme checked in and into room, and we just paced in the waiting room for what seemed like hours.

"Dr. Cullen? Mr. Platt?" The doctor asked once he finally came out from the swinging doors.

"Yes?" Tyler asked as he jumped up. "Please," He pleaded.

"Why don't you come with me." He sighed. Tyler and I gave each other skeptical looks before we began following him. He led us into an office and closed the door. "Now, Dr. Cullen, you and Ms. Platt are divorced, correct?"

"Yes,"

"Giving this news is never easy." He sighed and I felt my stomach knot up. "But, Esme is in the early stages of stomach cancer."

"Stomach what?" Tyler asked, his face completely pale. "How?"

"Well, smoking can cause it." He explained. "And typically, if one family members get it it's much easier for someone else in their family to get it as well."

"Mom," Tyler sighed, and it looked as if he were going into shock. "So...how...how long?"

"We can try surgery, and give her treatment." He told us. "But there isn't much else we can do."

"Nothing?" Tyler asked and all I could think about was Edward and how this was going to affect him.

"I'm sorry, but like every cancer, there is no cure." He sighed. "If we found it early enough, then she'll most likely live."

"Thanks, doc." Tyler choked out.

"You can come see her if you'd like." The doctor offered as he stood. We followed him down the long, white hallway into a nice, dark room. I saw Esme laying there, looking at the ceiling, looking even paler than before.

"Esme?" Tyler asked, going and sitting by her side.

"I've known for months, Tyler." She sighed. "It's okay."

"You've known for months?" I asked.

"Yes, when you have Edward, I'm at doctor's appointments." She told me and when I really thought about it, she never looked good on Sunday's when she picked him up "I'm okay, Carlisle."

"You know mom died from this, right?" Tyler spat, making a bad situation worse. "You aren't okay."

"They didn't catch mom's in time." She whispered. "Did you not listen to the doctor?"

"I can't believe you never told us." Tyler whisper, walking out of the room. Esme and I didn't talk for the rest of the time she was in the hospital. We talked to her normal doctor and we were able to come up with a plan. She was going to have the surgery next month and I would take Edward while she was recovering. We were going to make this work and she was going to be okay. She had to be.

We left and tried to have a normal Thanksgiving. Tyler wasn't speaking to Esme which didn't make the situation at dinner better. She wasn't eating anything and it was only scarring Edward. We left right after dinner and she still wanted Edward to go with me. I dropped her off and we planned to tell Edward after his break was over so we wouldn't worry about it.

"So, what are we doing tomorrow?" Edward asked as he put his clothes in his drawers.

"Well, you remember Emmett?" I asked since it'd been a long time since he saw him. "Well, he's the assistant coach of my schools football team and they're doing really well this year. I thought we'd go tomorrow morning."

"Awesome!" He said.

"Really?" I asked since I thought he wouldn't be too thrilled.

"Yeah," He laughed. "Dad, I like music, but it isn't like I hate sports." He said. "That's you."

"I don't hate sports."

"Dad," He sighed, shaking his head. "You flip right over the football games on Sunday."

"I didn't think you were interested."

"Do you always use you child as an excuse?"

"Isn't that why I have you?" I asked. We spent the next couple of hours watching a movie before it was time for him to go to bed. We were up bright and early Friday morning for the game and I loved seeing him so excited in his NYU sweatshirt. I felt a lot of pride when he told me thats where he wanted to go to major in music.

We found really good seats and Rosalie eventually found us with little Ariana all bundled up in her carrier.

"Can I hold her?" Edward asked after he'd played peek-a-boo with her for a few minutes. Rosalie smiled at him as she bent down to unbukle the baby from the carrier.

"Now, watch her head." Rosalie whispered, putting her into his arms. I stayed by her head, just to be safe but I wasn't really needed. Edward was doing a great job holding her. It was really wonderful to watch actually. My phone beeped, scarring Ariana, and I reached into my pocket to grab my phone. I smiled when I saw that it was from Bella.

_'I think I might want to do a double major.'_

_'Really?'_

_'Yeah, but I'm not 100% yet'_

_'That's okay, take your time'_

_'Okay. I can't wait to be out of her. I forgot how much I hated Forks.'_

_'It's only a few more days.'_

_'Yeah, and I have a surprise for you.'_

_'Oh?' I asked as I swallowed heavy. _I had a feeling it had nothing to do with the double major or school work.

_'Yep. I went shopping this morning with Angela.'_

_'You did?'_

_'Yes. You might like what I got.'_

_'Will I?'_

_'I think.'_

This girl was going to kill me.


	8. In Too Deep

**Chapter Sever: In Too Deep**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"I can't believe you have to leave already." My mother cried as she hugged me at security on Monday mourning. Although it was nice to be home for a while, I was ready to get back to New York.

"I know, it was short." I agreed. "But, it's only three weeks until I'm back for Christmas." I sighed. I didn't want to be home for a month and leave Carlisle for that long. I didn't care anymore. I missed him like crazy these last few days and a month would seem like years without him. I was getting way too involved.

"Good," She laughed as she squeezed me tightly. I gave my dad one last hug before grabbing my carry on and heading towards security. Since everyone was traveling today, getting back where they needed to be, it took forever to get to the gate. But, I still made it in time to grab something to eat and talk to Carlisle for a little bit.

To my wonderful surprise, he was waiting for me at baggage claim. I ran into his arms immediately and kissed him like we'd been apart for years instead of days. Soon, we realized anyone could be here and see us and he headed out to his car while I got my bags. I made sure no one I knew was in sight before putting my bags in his trunk and getting into the front seat next to him.

"I missed you." He smiled as he stared the car. "I know I shouldn't have, but I did."

"I missed you too." I sighed, grabbing his hand. Alice would not be pleased if she knew about this. She was too worried we were going to get too attached to each other, and then we'd end up with broken hearts. But, she's the one who pushed me to start something with him, and I didn't want it to be 'just sex' I never had. But, not it seemed like I wasn't the only one getting too attached and it did worry me. If we weren't careful, it was over.

"Where should I drop you off?" He asked as we neared campus.

"I think here's good." I sighed. "I'm close enough to my dorm."

"Ah, the crappy dorms the sophomores always seem to get." He laughed.

"I picked to be in the building I'm in." I shrugged as he pulled over. "It's quieter."

"Good." He laughed. "My junior year I was right next to a student center and a giant courtyard...it was hell to study there most of the time. I had to resort to using the library."

"Oh the terror." I laughed as he popped the trunk and got out to give me my bags. We said a quick goodbye and I began my walk towards my building. Alice was already back and from his truck being out front, so was Jasper. I knew they'd be having their own little moment and I didn't want to walk in on anything. I made sure to knock and I was actually able to just go inside.

"How'd you get home?" Alice asked. "I thought we were going to come pick you up?"

"I got a cab." I lied. I didn't want to get an earful from her right now about getting to close to him.

"A _cab_?" She asked, placing extra emphasis on cab. Apparently, I was a worse liar than I thought and she got it right away. "Don't you think that was a bad idea?"

"No, I didn't think it was going to be there." I told her. This was a bad conversation to have in front of Jasper.

"How did you not know a cab would be there for you?" Jasper asked.

"My dad must have called for it." I sighed. "I'm fine, Alice." I told her and she dropped the subject until Jasper left to get his things unpacked.

"He picked you up at the airport?" She asked.

"Yeah, but it's not like I asked him to." I shrugged. "He was just trying to do something nice for me."

"Bella, it's not just you who's getting too attached." She smiled. "He's starting to get attached t you."

"You think?"

"You think he'd pick you up at the airport itf you two were just fooling around lie you claim to be?" She asked. "No, he'd let you get a cab or a ride from a friend."

"Good point." I smiled. She was right. I finished putting my things away and headed down to Carlisle's office. I planned to only discuss the double major with him, but I already knew we'd both get distracted. Thankfully, no one was in the office today at all and we could do as we pleased. He was waiting for me at his door and gave me a sad smile when he saw me.

"Hey," I whispered, leaning in and pecking him on the lips. "What's up?"

"Hi." He smiled, shutting his door and pulling me into him. He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and just buried his head in my shoulder, and I could feel the shutter in every breath her took. Something happened when I was gone, and it scarred me. I just held him and let him process everything before finally asking what happened.

"Carlisle?" I asked, lifting his head up and making him look at me. His eyes were red and puffy and my heart sank for him. "What's wrong?"

"It's...it's Esme." He whispered, going over and slumping down in his chair. I walked over and stood behind him, lightly rubbing his shoulders.

"What happened?"

"Esme she has...she has stomach cancer." He cried and my heart stopped. Stomach cancer was deadly, and who knew how long she'd had it. My mind immediately thought of that boy and how his life would change if she were to die from this.

"Carlisle," I cried as I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him close to me. No one close to me had ever died from a long illness. My grandpa and nana both went peacefully, I never had to watch them be sick. I couldn't even begin to imagine what Carlisle was feeling. I knew he still felt resentment towards her for the affair and the divorce, but it was Esme. The girl he'd thought to be the love of his life. And the mother of his son. He was devestated and I didn't even know how to comfort him.

"What am I going to do?" He asked as he sat down in his chair, pulling me into his lap. "We haven't told Edward yet. We don't know how. And, this is what killed her mother when Edward was little...her father is going to kill himself. He's already lost his wife and other daughter."

"How did her sister die?" I asked.

"She was in a car accident." He sighed. "It was snowy, icy, and dark. Her car skid across black ice and into the rail on the highway." He said, wiping away tears. "That's when Esme picked up smoking and when her mother died, the habit just got worse."

"Is that what caused it?" I asked. "The smoking?"

"That and the fact that her mother had it." He explained. "It was easier to get it with her mother already having it. Her brother...he's devastated. Him and Diana weren't really close, but that was bad enough for him. Him and Esme...are thick as thieves. Always together and they were really there when their mom died."

"I'm so sorry, Carlisle." I cried, wiping away my own tears. "How...how far is it?"

"She can still live." He told me. "She'll have to go through extensive treatment, but it might have been caught in time."

"See, there's hope."

"Not really." He cried. "They found it almost right away when her mother was diagnosed." He told me and I saw that any hope he might have, was gone. I wasn't sure what to do in this situation. Hell, I didn't even know what my place was in his life. We were just messing around, and I wasn't sure that even though I was developing feelings, he was. I had no idea what he was feeling.

So, I just sat with him. I let him use my shoulder to cry on and I just held his hand as we sat in silence.

* * *

"So, where were you last night?" Alice asked the next morning after I'd come back from getting my shower. "Were you even here?"

"I got back really late." I told her.

"Dr. Cullen...giving you extra credit?" She asked, trying to hold back her laughter.

"No," I sighed. Even though I liked just being with him without the sex, I still missed it last night...especially since we'd been apart. "We talked."

"Oh?"

"Not about our...relationship or...whatever we have." I sighed. "He's just going through a lot and needed to tell someone."

"That...that sounds like something a boyfriend would do with his girlfriend."

"Except, he isn't my boyfriend."

"Then what is he, Bella?"

"He's a guy that I causally see and have amazing sex with." I shrugged. Lying through my teeth. "And my professor."

"Bella, if he was just the guy you were casually having sex with...he wouldn't have called you and asked to meet you so he could talk about what's going on in his life." She pointed out. "And, since you aren't giving me the details, I'd say what he told you was pretty personal and a lot to take in."

"Yeah," I sighed. "I...I just don't know. I mean, I like him. More than I should." I admitted for the first time out loud. "I would love for us to be in a relationship. But, I don't know...I don't know what we are. How serious it us. How long this will last."

"Fair enough."

"I just...don't want to say anything, and get my hopes up."

"Okay, that's fair. But, can you promise me something?"

"Maybe,"

"Can you talk to him?" She asked. "About everything that's going on with the two of you."

"He has enough on his plate."

"And he sounds like he's going to need support." She sighed. "And, don't you want to be there for him?"

"Of course."

"Then, don't make it a big deal, but...talk to him." Alice was right. I needed to talk to him and figure out where he stood. Because, if this still was just a fling, I didn't want to be dragged into something so personal and complicated. He had the sick ex-wife and the eleven year old son to think about. I didn't need to be in the middle if it wasn't going to be something real.

I finished up getting ready for the next day of classes and debated with myself for an hour about whether to go down to him or not. I didn't know if he was going to talk to me when he needed to talk, or if he just wanted me around. I decided I should go down anyway to talk to him about a double major anyway, so I'd use it as an excuse to see him.

However, when I got there, the same professor that seemed to always be around was standing at his door, talking to him. I watched as she gave him sympathetic looks and gently touched his shoulder with her grimy little hands.

He was mine. That was my job.

As I got closer, I realized they weren't even talking about Esme, but about something between another professor and his wife.

"Ah, Miss Swan." He said, smiling when he saw me. "What can I do for you?"

"I wanted to talk to you about that double major?" I said, trying not to glare at the slutty professor that was standing there as well. "I can come back,"

"No, it's fine." He said. "Come on in. I'll talk to you later, Maddie." He said, stepping aside, letting me walk inside and shutting the door.

"What was that?" I asked, trying not to sound like I was accusing him.

"Maddie being...Maddie." He sighed. "Don't worry about it. She's always been like that with me, even before the divorce. I ignore it and just move on."

"She was the one you were...sucking face with at the beginning of the year." I snorted under my breath.

"Are you...jealous?" He asked, a small chuckle in his voice.

"No,"

"Bella."

"Maybe." I sighed.

"Aww, Bella." He sighed, bringing me into a tight hug. "That's all we did. Suck face. I never went any farther with her, and I wouldn't want to. It was a bad day for me and Maddie was just...very convincing that day."

"Promise?"

"Pinky promise." He laughed, holding out his pinky finger. I laughed as I wrapped mine around and leaned into kiss him. "I'm sorry about last night. That wasn't how I wanted to spend our first night back together."

"It's okay," I smiled, pushing his hair back. "I didn't mind."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

The next hour we were actually productive. We thoroughly discussed my options in doing a double major in psychology and he gave me a syllabus for his graduate classes. I loved listening to him talk about what he taught and what he was going to do with his classes to help them learn it. He was the same way in my class with him, but hearing how passionate he really was, almost gave me chills.

The teachers in Forks were good teachers. They cared about their students and made sure everyone was able to graduate. But, none of them were this into what they were teaching. They never spoke with enthusiasim and sometimes they seemed like they didn't even want to be there. Carlisle was a whole other story. I saw how much he loved his job and saw how much he was risking in being with me.

"You think you'll be able to handle it?" He asked as he came up from behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I don't wanna over work you."

"I talked with my advisor about it." I told him, turning around to face him. "She told me I should be able to handle it and if it becomes too much, she'll work with my other professors and if things get really rough, she'll let me drop psychology without it going on my record."

"Why would you drop psychology?" He asked, looking like a lost puppy.

"Because, it isn't my first choice." I smile,rubbing his shoulders. "But, hopefully it won't be too much and I'll be able to do both without much trouble."

"Good," He smiled, leaning in to kiss me. "Plus, I'm very dedicated to my students."

"Are you?"

"Yeah, especially this gorgeous, brown eyed girl." He smiled his crocked smile at me.

"Hold on, professor." I laughed, pushing him away. "You have a class in twenty minutes. And, I should go anyway. I told Alice I'd hang out with her tonight."

"Fine," He said, looking down at the ground. "Rain check?"

"Of course." I smiled, giving him one final peck before walking towards the door. As I left the room though, I ran into the bitch of professor who was all over Carlisle.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," I whispered, walking past her. I saw her go into his office and growled in frustration. I made my way across campus and saw Jasper's car in the lot. He was back and I was pretty sure I was going to walk in on a hot, steamy, make-out session. I knocked and got the signal right away and I walked in on them, sitting on her bed and oogling each other.

"Aww, I knew the dorm was missing something." I laughed as I took my coat off and hung it up. "How was your break, Jasper?"

"Good. Nice and hot down in Houston." He laughed. Alice and I both sighed in our wishing since it was cold where we both were for break. "But, I'm glad to be back in the crisp, fall air."

"Yeah, nice save." Alice said sarcastically.

"Well, I should get going." He sighed, leaning in and kissing her. "I promised Peter we'd hang out tonight. You know, drink beer and talk about hot girls."

"The usual." Alice laughed.

"Of course." He laughed as she walked him out. I set up our DVD player and got out our collection of movies to chose from. She came back in and gave me a face like she smelt something bad.

"What?" I asked cautiously.

"You wanna watch movies tonight?" She asked.

"Yeah, we have class tomorrow, Ali." I reminded her.

"Oh," She giggled. "Right. It feels like Saturday."

"I know, but Saturday is hang over day." I laughed since neither of us had gone to some big party or drank enough to get a bad hang over. Just a headache. We ordered pizza and just watched _The Breakfast Club_ and _Easy A_ until it was time to shut off the lights for a big day of learning.

* * *

The next day was hard to get up for, but once I realized I had class with Carlisle, I was up and ready in no time. Alice and I headed across campus to the building and m heart sank when I saw that class had been canceled.

"Canceled?" I asked as I read the sign over again.

"Yeah, bummer." Ali mumbled. "Wanna go get breakfast?" She asked. She didn't understand. I assumed it was something to do with Esme and I couldn't stop the tears that burned in my eyes. "Bella?"

"What?" I asked as the first tear fell. I had no idea why I was getting so emotional. He could just be at home with his kid who was sick. But I had a feeling he would have told me that.

"Why are you crying?" She asked, handing me a tissue.

"I...I have no idea." I laughed. "I...I just have a feeling I know why he's not here." I whispered and she seemed to understand it had something to do with what I was telling her about the other night. We did end up walking down to the Meal Hall and got a nice, big breakfast. But, I couldn't concentrate on my other class or the homework I tried getting done. I knew it was none of my business, but I wanted to know he was okay.

I decided to go check if he was in his office after dinner, even though I knew he wouldn't be. As I predicted, both rooms were dark and as I was turning to leave, I ran into what seemed like a wall.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I blushed as I bent down and helped him pick up the papers I'd caused him to drop. I looked up and could feel myself blushing. I assumed he was a professor, but he wasn't old at all. Early thirties maybe with brown hair and beautiful green eyes. "I really am sorry."

"No worries." He smiled as I handed him the last stack of papers. "Do you know where Dr. Cullen is?"

"No, he wasn't here at all today." I sighed. "I'm one of his students."

"You are?" He asked, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. "Well, you know if...he'll be back tomorrow?"

"No idea." I told him, swinging my bag over my shoulder. "Well, I should be going."

"Bye," He smiled, walking in the other direction. Damn. NYU knew how to pick their professors. They all seemed to be godlike.


	9. Eyes Meet

**Chapter Eight: Eyes Meet**

* * *

**Carlisle's POV**

"Mom's going to be okay, right?" Edward asked as we sat in the waiting room at the doctor's office. Esme and I had just gathered up the courage to tell him and his insisted on coming with me. I looked at him, trying to find the words. I really had no idea, but how could I tell him that?

"They're going to do everything they can to make sure she gets better." I told him.

"So, in other words...you have no clue?" He asked. Edward was smart and very intuitive. I wasn't surprised when he figured out what I meant.

"Yeah, buddy." I sighed, bringing him into my side. "Cancer is...tricky and right now we just have to take it one step at a time. But, they really are doing all they can." I told him. "Your mother is a fighter, she isn't going to give up so easily."

"You're right." He smiled, going back to his _Nintendo DS_. The two of us waited for another half hour before Esme and her doctor came out.

"It hasn't spread anymore." She whispered so Edward wouldn't overhear. "That's a plus."

"Yeah, it is." I agreed, turning to her doctor.

"We're going to keep a close eye on it and go with the surgery according to schedule." He said before going back through the doors. The three of us headed out and since it was too late for Edward to go to school, we decided to take him out to lunch. Esme explained to him what was going to happen and what the surgery would be. He was being brave, but I knew that he was scarred to death.

The three of us spent the rest of the day together. We took Edward to the music store to buy him more piano books and a new lamp since the one he'd been using was as old as he was. Then, I brought Esme back to my apartment for the first time because Edward wanted to show her his room and he wanted to hang up his new poster we'd bought him today while we were out.

"It's really nice, Carlisle." Esme complimented as we stood in the living room, waiting for Edward to come back out from cleaning up his room. She looked around and I saw regret fill her eyes. She never wanted this, the divorce, me having my own apartment. It was the reason she'd never accepted my offer to come up when she picked Edward up on Sunday's. She never really wanted to accept any of it.

"Thanks," I smiled. "I have a lady come in twice a month." I laughed. I was never one to be clean.

"That would explain why it's so clean." She laughed, trying to push away the pain.

"Okay, mom. You gotta come see." Edward called from his room. I showed her to his room and the look on her face was priceless.

"This is nice, sweetie." She sighed, ruffling his hair. "It's...big."

"Dad gave me the master bedroom." He told her. "The other wasn't big enough for my keyboard."

"That was very nice of him," She smiled at me, and went over as he showed her all the things his keyboard could do. I didn't have enough space unfortunately to fit a grand piano like he had at the house here, but he settled for the keyboard.

We ordered pizza and while Esme didn't eat much, she put on a good show for Edward. He didn't need anymore worry right now, and she wasn't going to be the one to scare him anymore than he was. I walked them down to the car and smiled when I saw Emmett getting out of his car.

"Emmett!" Edward laughed as he ran over to hug him. They talked for a little bit before Esme warned Edward about having school the next day. Emmett followed me upstairs and I grabbed us a few beers. It had been so long since we'd done anything, just the two of us. It was almost like not having part of me with me.

"What's up?" I asked as I sat down at the table across from him.

"Anna's at the house." He shrugged."I thought I'd give the two of them privacy. Rose hasn't had much time for Anna since Ariana was born."

"That must be hard."

"Yeah, they keep in touch." He sighed. "But, I could tell they needed me to leave them alone. Talk about girl stuff."

"Girl stuff?" I laughed as I pictured Emmett dealing with 'girl stuff' when Ariana got older.

"Yeah, I think she might have a boyfriend...or is talking to someone." He laughed. "I know it has something to do with boy."

"Talking?" I asked.

"Yeah, like pre-dating I guess." He laughed. "So, guess who I think I ran into today."

"Emma Stone?" I asked.

"No, but I wish." He laughed. Emma Stone had always been our guilty pleasure and her movies were the ones we'd rent when it was just the two of us for movie night. "Bella," He told me and I choked on my beer.

"What?" I asked.

"I'm not sure, but she matched the description you gave of her, plus...she was kinda lurking around your office."

"Oh,"

"Yeah, big brown eyes. Long, wavy brown hair. Pale complexion." He described. Yep, he'd met Bella. "And she mentioned that you were her professor...even though I didn't ask about what she was doing there."

"Yeah, that sounds like Bella."

"You were right," He smiled. "She's gorgeous." He smiled, and I blushed. Just thinking about her made me smile and I missed her today. Spending the day with Edward and even Esme was great, but I missed seeing her. "She looked lost without you."

"I'm going to call her," I told him. "But, it was just a really...shitty day."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, Esme had a doctor's appointment and Edward insisted in going with her." I explained. "He told us he wants to be there through all of it."

"Brave kid," Emmett mumbled under his breath.

"Yeah, but we don't want him there with us every time."

"You're going to go with her to all of her doctor's appointments?" He asked. "That isn't up to you anymore,"

"I know, but...she was the only girl I've ever really loved, Emmett." I told him. "She's Edward's mother and...I do love her. I may not be in love with her like I was, but I'm not going to make her go by herself."

"No, but her brother or father could go with her."

"I know, but I want to do this for her." I shrugged. "As much as I can be."

* * *

The next day I made it a point to get to campus early to do everything I was supposed to get done the previous day. The day went a lot smoother than I thought and even Maddie didn't annoy me like always. I was extremely happy when Bella knocked on my door as I was packing up.

"Hey," I said, pulling her into my office.

"Are you okay?" She asked, her voice full of concern.

"Yeah, it was just a rough day yesterday." I sighed. I'd called her and told her where I was once Emmett had left. She'd listened as I told her about telling Edward, and repeatedly told me everything was going to work out. I was so grateful to have her in my life, or I'd be completely lost. "Edward was really good about it, though."

"I know, you told me." She smiled, pressing my hand to my cheek. "But, how did you do?"

"As...as well as I could." I smiled, looking into her beautiful brown eyes. "I'm not in love with her anymore. That...that ended when she cheated on me." I said, trying to keep it together. "But, when I think about what it would be like if I were to lose her...makes me sick. I...can't, Bella."

"Can't what?"

"Deal with that." I sighed, finally losing it. "I can't lose her...I can't watch Edward grow up without his mom. I can't, Bella."

"You may not have to." She soothed, rubbing my back. "It's...it's..."

"What?"

"I can't make any promises, but there's a strong chance you won't have to say goodbye." She whispered. "You have to stay positive, Carlisle."

"How can I?" I asked. "How can I even think about being positive with the only girl I've ever really loved...might not make it to her fortieth birthday?"

"That's something you have to figure out for yourself." She shrugged, tightening her grip. Slowly, my shakes slowed down and eventually came to a stop."You need to eat something," She suggested.

"I'm fine," I lied as my stomach began to growl.

"How about I go get us something to eat?" She asked, standing up and giving me a peck on the cheek.

"I can't, it's Friday." I told her. Edward was going to be dropped off in an hour and I still had to get something for him to eat. It had been a while since I went shopping and we ate through the rest of my supply while he was there for break. "But, you're welcome to come with me."

"Go...go with you?" She asked, her face turning white.

"Yes." I laughed. "I need to go grocery shopping and then try to make something for Edward."

"It's your time with him," She reminded me. "It's fine. I'll hang out with Alice."

"Bella, please come with me." I basically begged. "I would love for you to come."

"I...I can't." She replied, giving me an apologetic. She tried to give me a kiss goodbye, but I knew her a little better than that.

"Don't come over, that's fine." I told her. "But, at least give me a real reason and don't just say because, Bella."

"Because," She sighed. "It's just sex."

"Just...sex?"I asked.

"Our relationship." She told me. "We're just having sex. That's all. If I go with you back to your place...go with you to meet your son..."

"Bella, if this was..._just sex_...I wouldn't have told you all that I did." I reminded her. "I wouldn't have cried on your shoulder the other day. I wouldn't be asking you back to my place to meet Edward."

"But..."

"It's not..._just sex_...anymore, Bella." I whispered. "And, I don't think it ever was."

"Wow," She sighed as a smile crept on her face.

* * *

Bella and I stopped at the store on our way home and as we got back into my car, I could tell how anxious she was. This was a lot to take in. She was about to meet Edward. The most important person in my life, and his approval meant everything to me. When we were just fooling around, I was okay that he didn't know about her. But, now that I began to have real feelings for her, he needed to meet her.

I didn't want to admit this, but if he didn't like her, things between us couldn't go any further.

"My apartment is far enough away from campus." I reassured her. "No one from school lives near me."

"Okay," She sighed, looking out the window. I pulled into the parking lot and opened the trunk to get the groceries. I led her upstairs and unlocked the door. She stayed where she was as I brought some of the bags inside, and just stood at the door.

"Are you going to stand there all night?" I asked. "Because, the eggs are going to go bad."

"Oh, right." She laughed nervously as she walked inside. As we were putting the groceries away, I got a message saying Esme and Edward were almost there. I excused myself and went downstairs to meet them outside. I didn't want Bella being there to be a complete surprise. They pulled in just as I got downstairs.

"Hi, dad." Edward greeted as he pulled his bag out of the trunk. "What are you doing down here?"

"Just thought I'd meet you outside." I shrugged. I didn't want to say anything in front of Esme yet. "Here, I'll take him up." I offered. She looked like she'd had a long day.

"Thanks." She smiled. "I'll see you Sunday, bud."

"Bye, mom." He said as he hugged her. "So, dad, why are you really down here?"

'You're too smart, you know that?" I laughed as I took his duffle bag. "So, ummm..."

"Dad?" Edward asked. "You don't like have cancer too, do you?" He asked, his face growing pale.

"No! No, Edward. I don't."

"Good,"

"Someone else is going to be here tonight."

"Oh?" He asked. "Emmett?"

"No, not Emmett." I laughed. "Her name is Bella."

"_Her_ name is Bella?" He asked. "You brought a...a girl home?"

"She's more than just a girl, Edward." I told him. "I care about Bella a lot."

"So you brought your girlfriend home?" He asked. He didn't seem upset, just a little confused. This was new to him. Hell it was new to him. Esme had dates since the seporation, but he never met the guy, and I never brought a girl back with me after a date either.

"She's not my girlfriend...exactly." I told him. "Not yet anyway."

"You must like her though." He smiled. "I mean, why else would you have brought her back here." He laughed as he opened the door to go back inside. He was okay. This was going to work...hopefully. My hands began to shake as I turned the doorknob to my apartment and Edward only laughed at me. I opened the door and Bella was chopping up the lettuce we bought for the salad.

She looked up and smiled at us. I could tell she was even more nervous than before, but put the knife down and walked over to us.

"Dad, she's pretty." Edward whispered as she wiped her hands on a towel. "Hi,"

"Hey," She smiled, looking from Edward to me and back to him. "I'm Bella."

"Edward." He introduced. "What are we having for dinner?" He asked, turning to me. All of my nerves washed away. He was okay with her being here. I knew things would be different when we sat down and began eating, but for now. Everything was okay.

"Chicken and mashed potato's and the grown-ups are going to have a salad." I told him as we walked back into the kitchen.

"Cool." He sighed, sitting up in one of the high stools at the counter. "Can I have a Mountain Dew?"

"You can have one now or at dinner." I told him. Pop was so sugary and I remember when I drank it as a kid, I was up for hours. We limited him to two a day and I knew he always had one after school.

"Fine, dinner." He sighed. "Can I haver water?"

"You know where it is." I laughed. Bella and I finished making dinner and sat down at the small dining room table I had in the living room.

"So, Edward," Bella began as we started eating. "Your dad tells me you play the piano."

"I do." He loved talking about his piano and music.

"Who's your favorite composer?" She asked and I knew they were going to get along just fine.

"Mozart of course." He laughed. "But, Beethoven is a close second."

"I like Handel best." She told him. "I don't know, his music just...speaks to me."

"Do you play?" He asked excitedly.

"No." She shook her head. "I wish I did. But, I never really had time."

"You never had time to learn?"

"Nope." She said. "I was studying."

"All the time?" He asked.

"Yeah, it took a lot of work to get into NYU." She said, getting my attention. Edward didn't know Bella was a student yet.

"You went to NYU?" He asked. "My dad works there. Huh, small world."

"No, Edward, I still go there." She told him and I just closed my eyes. Why would she tell him this.

"You're a student?" He asked, his eyes bugging out of his head. "Whoa, good job, dad."

"Thank you son." I laughed. Realizing I got too worked up about it, I changed the subject back to Mozart and Beethoven. Edward and Bella got along really well and he even offered to help with the dishes instead of going back to him room to play his keyboard.

"Do you have a piano here?" Bella asked as she finished drying a plate.

"No, but I have a keyboard in my room." He said, jumping out of the chair. "Come on!" He said, grabbing her hand and pulling her into his room. I threw the towel down and went into his room as he began playing. Bella smiled the entire time he was playing and I knew he was loving it.

"That was beautiful, Edward." She gushed once it was over. "What was that?"

"The Forgotten by Green Day." He smiled. "I just finished learning it before coming over here."

"Shall we add another check?" I asked, grabbing a marker and walking over to his poster. When he began playing, I told him every five songs you learn I'd buy him an ice creme. It was more of an encouragement than a bribe, even though Esme told me I was bribing him. Now, we just did a chart so he could be proud, so every song he finished, he got a check.

"A check?" Bella asked, following me over to the giant poster board. There were hundreds of checks on it, and that wasn't his only one. It was from this year alone.

"I get a check for each song I learn to play." Edward explained. "My dad used it to bribe me to practice when I was little, but we kept it going after he realized I didn't need bribed."

"Hey, I did not bribe you." I defended. "I encouraged you by getting you ice creme."

"That's a bribe, Carlisle." She laughed as I checked the line for Rock Songs Learned and handed him the marker back. "Well, I should probably be going."

"Going?" Edward asked, looking like a lost puppy. "Do you have to?"

"Yeah, do you have to?" I mocked.

"Well, it's going to be getting dark soon and I don't really wanna get a cab in the dark."

"Get a cab?"I asked. "No, I'l drive you home when you're ready."

"Are you sure?"

"He's positive." Edward answered for me. "You wanna watch a movie?"

"What do you have?" She asked as he pulled her out to the living room. I watched as the two of them sat in front of the cabinet when I kept the movies and smiled. My kid liked her. She wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. I had all the time I wanted with her. I sighed in relief as I went to help pick out a movie.


	10. Hold It Tight

**Chapter Nine: Hold It Tight**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"You like?" Carlisle whispered as the ending credits rolled. Edward had settled on _Top Gun_ for the movie.

"Not going to lie to you." I smiled sitting up since my head had ended up on his chest. "It was good. But, I am a sucker Tom Cruise."

"How'd I know you were going to say that." He laughed as he looked over at the chair Edward had been watching the movie. I looked over and saw his eyes were closed with his breathing heavy and steady.

"How about that cab?" I asked, standing up.

"Hell no." He argued, grabbing my hand and pulling me back next to him. "It's New York and it's, eleven at night. You're not taking a cab."

"How am I supposed to get home?" I asked. "You can't leave Edward here alone."

"Then take a pair of my sweats and sleep on the couch." He offered. "Or I'll sleep on the couch. You take my bed."

"Carlisle,"

"Please?" He practically begged. "I won't feel right if I let you take a cab. I just won't." He begged and I saw that he really didn't want me taking a cab. I gave in and he pulled me into his room to hand me a pair of sweats and one of his t-shirts. I changed into them as he carried Edward to his bedroom. By the time I came out of the bathroom, he was only in his PJ bottoms.

"Hey, not fair." I laughed as I walked closer to him.

"What?"

"You're shirtless." I smiled as I grabbed his neck, pulling him into a kiss. I could tell we both wanted something more, but it just wasn't going to happen. "That isn't fair."

"Well, you can be shirtless too." He reminded me. "And I can be the person to help you with that."

"Edward," I reminded him, causing a long sigh to escape his mouth. "But, I'll take a rain check."

"Fine, you win." He whispered, locking eyes with me. This was the first time that I felt my heart actually leap for him. I'd never had this feeling before. This feeling of nausea, and happiness, and bliss, and fright. I'd never wanted someone so much before, never wanted to let someone go like this. "There...ah...there are extra blankets in the closet."

"Okay," I whispered, letting go so he could grab his pillow.

"I'll be in the living room if you need anything." He told me as he grabbed his glasses and walked out of the room. I took a deep breath as I sat down on the edge of his bed. I took a moment and looked over at the picture on his bed side table. I smiled when I saw it was an older woman holding Edward when he was really little. I assumed this woman was his mother and realized where Carlisle got his eyes from.

I put down the picture and took a moment to look around his room. It was neat and tidy, much different from his office. It was nice to see how he lived and I smiled at the fact that he decided to show me his house. He let me meet his son. That was a big step, but I was glad we took it. I turned to turn the lamp off and heard the door creek open. I looked up and saw Carlisle standing there.

"I don't wanna sleep on the couch." He whispered as he walked over to me. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, causing me to moan in his mouth. I grabbed his neck and pulled him down on the bed with me, and he sprawled out on top of me. He broke the kiss abruptly and just locked eyes with me. It was too soon to say anything out loud, but nothing needed to be said. I knew what he was thinking.

His lips travled down to my neck and I tightened my grip on his shoulders and squirmed as he sucked on my sweet spot. He lifted my shirt over my head, exposing me. He took his time, kissing and sucking both of my nipples. He paid close attention to me and stopped when he thought I'd hit my breaking point. He pulled the sweats off my body, leaving me naked.

I used my legs to push his PJ's off, and he placed himself at my entrance. He slowly pushed in, and took his time to fill me. Then, after a few seconds, he began to pump into me. It was slow and loving, so unlike all the times before. But, it wasn't boring like I thought something like this would be. It was something I don't think either of us had experienced before.

"Oh, Bella." He moaned as we both reached climax. After a few more thrusts, we both came and he fell on top of me. "Oh, wow."

"Yeah, wow." I agreed as he slid out of me and rolled next to me. I looked over as his breathing began to slow and smiled as he pulled me into his sides. I was falling. And falling hard. I didn't care anymore of what could happen if we got caught. I just wanted him.

* * *

The two of us got up early enough the next morning so I could go out and lay on the couch in case Edward woke up, looking for Carlisle. However, without his body next to mine, I couldn't fall back asleep and decided to make them breakfast. I found a waffle iron and everything I needed and there were hot waffles on the table by the time the two of them woke up.

"Bella?" Edward asked. "You made waffles?" He asked, sitting down at the table and putting one on to his plate.

"Hey, what do you say?" Carlisle asked, snatching the knife out of his hands.

"Thanks," He sighed as Carlisle handed him back the knife. He came over to me and took the ladle I was using to put the mix into the iron. He pulled me into me and held my waist tightly, pulling me into a kiss. Apparently we weren't hiding our affections from Edward.

"Good morning." He smiled, kissing my nose as I tried to get my blush under control.

"Morning to you too,"

"Oh my gosh!" Edward gasped, causing us to break apart. "Bella, these waffles are amazing! Better than mom's."

"Don't tell her that." I laughed. Esme made damn good waffles, and took a lot of pride when Edward told her they were his favorites.

"I won't." He laughed as he went back to eating. "So, Bella. Are you gonna hang out with us today?"

"That depends on what you're doing." I told him. Although what I had with Carlisle was more than sex now, we had to be careful. I couldn't just go on a date with him and I couldn't just hang out with the two of them.

"Well, Emmett invited us to his game today." Edward pointed out. "I kinda wanted to go again."

"You wanted to go to the football game?" Carlisle asked. "Again?"

"Yeah, I had fun last week." He shrugged.

"He normally doesn't want to go to sporting events." He laughed as he sat down and dug into the waffles.

"I would love to join you, but I should get home." I sighed, running water over my plate. "I should get some homework done and I promised Alice I'd read one of her papers."

"Understandable." He sighed, standing up. "At least let me give you a ride."

"No, you spend your time with Edward." I told him, gently touching his cheek. "I'll be okay."

"Text me when you get back?" He insisted as the cab pulled up to the curb. I promised and gave him a kiss before getting into the cab. By the time I got back, Alice and Jasper were at breakfast and I had the dorm to myself to finish somethings up. I was able to get my work done for my lit class and start my psyc homework before they got back.

"Hey, look who decided to come home." Jasper laughed. "good night?"

"One of the best." I smiled. Jasper knew there was a guy. He didn't know that it was a professor. We were going to keep it like that.

"Good to know this guy really cares about you." He smiled, tapping my shoulder. He said goodbye to Alice so he and his buddies could go running at the gym and so the two of us could talk. The minute the door was closed, she pulled up her chair next to mine and demanded details.

I told her everything. From fooling around in his office, to meeting Edward, to the night we spent next to each other in bed. Although I would have felt more comfotable not telling anyone, I was happy I had Alice. I don't know if I'd be able to handle keeping quiet. Especially about something getting this serious. She had quit bugging me about getting too attached when she realized he was just as attached as I was.

"I'm glad you're happy." She told me after I finished telling her about breakfast. "I...I honestly didn't think this would come."

"What would come?"

"The day when you realize you are both crazy for each other." She shrugged. "The day I was positive you weren't going to get hurt or anything."

"Honestly, I didn't think it would come either." I told her. "I never thought it would come to the point where he felt close enough to me to introduce me to his son. It...it was so amazing, Alice."

"I can't imagine." She laughed.

"I mean, meeting him was like...the thing that bound us together." I told her. "I knew that if he didn't like me, I was gone. We woudln't have worked out. But...I could tell he liked me and even Carlisle told me he liked me."

"That's good, Bells."

"Yeah," I sighed. "He even insisted on playing the piano for me. That's like, a painter wanting to show you his portfolio."

"Well, I'm happy for you, Bella." She smiled, bringing me into a hug. Alice was an amazing friend and I knew I could trust her. I was damn lucky to have her. After doing some more homework, I decided to be done for the day and the two of us headed onto campus. We grabbed coffee and I couldn't help but notice as two people walked in with their school garb on.

"What?" She asked once she noticed I was looking at them. "You wanna go to the game or something?"

"No...but Carlisle was going to take Edward." I shrugged, trying not to blush. This didn't have to be so embaressing.

"So, let's go up to the stadium."

"Don't you think that's kind of dangerous?"

"No. You're going to a school function." She shrugged. "And if we happen to run into him...then that's just what happens sometimes. I run in to Mr. McCarty all the time around campus."

"That's because you're stalking him." I laughed as we left the coffee house and made our way to the stadium.

"I am not!" She defended. "I just happen to be in the same places he is a lot. Plus, if you saw his ass, you would understand."

"Isn't he married?"

"That doesn't make it illegal to think he's good looking." She pointed out. "Or look at his butt."

"Okay, you win." I laughed as I threw out my cup in a trash can. We made it to the stadium as the game started and even though it was crowded, I found the two of them easily. They were standing along the fence, talking to the guy I ran into the other night. I grabbed Alice and pulled her through the crowd, careful not to let them see me.

Finally, once I got close enough, I tapped on his shoulder and went and stood next to Edward.

"Bella," He said, trying not to act so elated. "What a pleasant surprise."

"You too, Dr. Cullen." I said, winking at him.

"Dr. Cullen?" Edward asked. "Why don't you just call him..." He started to ask before Carlisle pulled him back, holding his mouth shut. Edward got the picture and gave in and Carlisle soon released him. The four of us stayed by the fence as we watched the game. The coach, who I assumed to be Carlisle's 'Alice' kept coming over and winking at us, but we both tried to ignore it.

"I'm going to go get a pretzel." Alice announced at halftime. "You wanna come with me kid?"

"Can I dad?" He asked, turning to Carlisle.

"Sure," Carlisle agreed as he dug into his pocket. "Get a water for me."

"Gottcha!" He squealed as he ran off with Alice. My phone buzzed as they went out of sight and couldn't help but smile.

'Let's get out of here for a while.'

I nodded and sent Alice a text, saying we'd be back in a little bit. I followed behind him until we were far enough away and I caught up. He brought me back to his car, and I just starred at him in confusion.

"We haven't had any alone time all day." He wined. "Please, just a few minutes?"

"You're very good with words, Dr. Cullen." I whispered as I looked around again. No one was in sight and I was pretty positive it would stay that way until the end of the game. I got in and as soon as his door was closed, his lips were on mine. He began pushing my jacket off my shoulders before I pushed him away.

"I...I thought you only wanted a few minutes alone?" I asked, breathless as I pushed his jacket off. I couldn't help myself.

"Yeah?" He agreed as basically a question. "I didn't say this was going to take long," He was very convincing, but being in his car together was risk enough. We didn't need to be the people caught with the foggy window's at the football game.

"No." I said as I pushed him off of me. "I want to. Believe me I do. But, I don't think it's such a good idea...in such a public place."

"My office is pretty damn public."

"That's different." I argued. "It has four, solid walls and we know if someone's getting close. Besides, everyone's home by the time we do anything."

"I know," He sighed as he pulled his coat back on. "I just...thought it'd be fun."

"What? Car sex?" I asked and he nodded. "Oh, it is." I told him, his eyes widening. "But, this is for another time. Maybe in not such a crowded place and not on campus?"

"But, there's no danger in that." He wined. "What would our relationship be if there was no rush?"

"Just a normal, boring one." I laughed as I opened the car door. I checked to see if anyone was around before stepping out and heading back up to the stadium. We met up with Alice and Edward just as the third quarter started. We won, just as I thought we would, and Edward was jumping for joy as they scored the last touch down.

"Dad!" He called as the stadium erupted in cheers. "You see that? Did YOU SEE THAT?!" He asked, acting like a kid in the candy store.

"Yeah, bud." Carlisle laughed. "I saw."

"That was...oh man!" Edward gasped. "Why did you buy me a piano again?"

"I can take it away if that's what you want?"

"NO!" He shouted, looking like he was going to be sick at the thought. We talked for a little longer, but since we were in public, couldn't actually have a conversation. I went back with Alice and got dinner with her before packing a small bag and heading over to his apartment. The pizza was already there and we ate together again and I couldn't help but love the feeling.

I had a close family. My parents were as in love now as they were when they first married. But, because my dad was a cop, there were a lot of nights when it was just my mom at the table. Being with Carlisle and Edward, gave me this hope of family. It was something I couldn't explain.

"You two don't have to pretend like you didn't sleep in the same room." Edward told us as we cleared the table. "I saw the empty couch when I woke up to go to the bathroom."

"Good to have your blessing son." Carlisle laughed as he through the paper plates away. "What do you wanna do now, bud?"

"Can I teach Bella how to play the piano?" He asked.

"I don't know." He laughed. "Ask her." He told him. Edward turned to me, his face shining with happiness and I couldn't refuse. He grabbed my hand and led me into his room, shutting the door and cutting us off from Carlisle.

"I wanna surprise him." He shrugged as he pulled another chair over to the key board. We began with the basics and I was playing Marry Had a Little Lamb for Carlisle within an hour. "We'll practice this." He laughed as he opened his book to chose a new song.

"What were you thinking, buddy?" Carlisle asked, leaning over his shoulder.

I loved the relationship they had. They were more like best friends than father and son and I loved that. Carlisle was still stern when he needed to be, but he loved his son so much. The pride he had in his eyes as he watched him and the tone in his voice when they spoke. Carlisle talked to Edward like his equal, not the eleven year old kid at the table. I had more respect for him after seeing them together.

"I don't know." He shrugged. "Bella, you pick." He handed me the book and I flipped through it. I was about to pick How to Save a Life when I saw Your Song on the top of the next page. I smiled at the memory I had as this played at the ceremony my parents had to renew their vows for their fifteenth aniversary.

"This one." I told him, handing him the book.

"Good choice." He told me as he grabbed his pencil from the ledge of the piano. "I was planning on learning this soon anyway."

"Well, then it must have been fate."

"We're going to leave you alone, Edward." Carlisle told him, grabbing his hand. He led me out to the kitchen, grabbed two glasses and a bottle of wine. We settled on the couch, in each other's arms and I'd never felt happier, more content, than I did in this very moment.

"That song began playing as my parents renewed their vows." I told him. "I was thirteen and I was the maid of honor."

"That's sweet."

"They told me it just felt right." I said. "To reclaim their love or something. They told me that sometimes you just need that assurance, and it worked. They're still very much in love and rarely fight."

"That's really precious." He said as he stroked my arms. "My parents never renewed their vows. So many people told them they should, but they told them they didn't need to. They held true to what they said on their wedding day, and they didn't need anything to prove that."

"Good." I told him. "They weren't fighting or anything, but they did want that to be proven. That the vows were still true."

"Don't worry,"

"Are they still alive?" I asked, cutting him off. "Your parents."

"Yeah, they both are." He smiled. "My mom isn't as...healthy as she was but she's getting by." He told me. "We're going to spend Christmas with them this year. Just Edward and I."

"No Esme?"

"They don't want her traveling and her father wants her to stay close." He told me. "And, she wanted Edward to go with me to see his other grandparents. They're really close, but because they live so far, he doesn't get to see them much."

"That's too bad."

"They make it work." He shrugged. "A phone call at least once a week, Skype dates, presents for the birthdays they can't come up. My parents love that little boy."

"He's easy to love." I mused as I turned in his arms and kissed his cheek. Edward came out an hour later, telling us he was done for the night and wanted to watch a movie. Edward let me pick this time and I settled on _Easy A_ and I didn't miss the cheeky grin Carlisle gave me as the movie started.

"Emma Stone is my guilty pleasure." He whispered into my ear as her first voice over started.


	11. Take Time

**Chapter Ten: Take Time**

* * *

**Carlisle's POV**

The weekend Edward and I spent with Bella had to the best I'd had in a long time. The way to two of them instantly got along made me realize things were going to be okay. It would still be risky seeing her, but it was okay that I was falling for her. Edward loved her and I didn't have to worry about saying goodbye for a long time.

I knew that as she got into her truck to go back to campus, things wouldn't be the same. Even though neither of us said anything, we were in a relationship. A real relationship. It wouldn't be easy, but I could take her out, or bring her back here after classes. After I lost Esme, I didn't think I'd ever feel that way again. But, knowing I had Bella, I knew I'd never shake the feeling now.

"When she going to come back?" Edward asked when I walked into the apartment after seeing her off. I just shook my head as I went into the kitchen to order the pizza. Bella has been kind enough to cook for us these past two days, but now that it was just us, it was back to pizza and take out.

"Hopefully Friday." I laughed. "Why? Did you like her?"

"You're funny, dad." He laughed, but then his expression grew serious. "Hey, dad?"

"Yeah?"

"You think...you think you'll get married?" He asked, making me freeze. I wasn't sure I ever wanted to get married again, let alone with Bella. We were just settling into a relationship, and we wouldn't be able to go public for a while. "Dad?"

"I...I don't know, Edward." I told him honestly. "We're barely in a relationship."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we've been seeing each other for a few weeks now, but..." I stopped, trying to think of how to explain this in a way he'd understand. "You know how people go on dates?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, just because people go on dates doesn't mean they're committed to each other." I explained. "Bella and I have been...dating...for a while and we just committed to each other."

"Oh," He sighed, a sad expression on his face. "I think she'd made a pretty good stepmom."

"Me too, bud." I smiled, ruffling his hair. "But, if...in the far future...we do get married, she isn't going to replace your mother."

"No?" He asked, sounding relieved.

"Never." I whispered, sitting down in the chair next to him. I forced him to look at me and then began the talk I'd been dreading. "Edward, your mother...she's really sick."

"I know, you already told me this." He fought, trying to get up and leave.

"No, listen to me." I ordered, making him sit back down. "She's sick. They're doing everything they can to make sure she lives. But, there is a chance...she won't." I told him and felt him stiffen. "But, I want you to know...she's never going to be replaced. Not with Bella or any other girl I may date. She will always be your mom. No one can take that away from you."

"Really?" He asked, fighting away tears. "Because I like Bella...I do. But..."

"You don't have to explain yourself, Edward." I told him, wiping the tear that was streaming down his face away. "Ever."

"Thanks dad." He whispered. After what seemed like forever, he finally spoke. "Can we just get plain tonight? I don't really want any toppings.

"Anything you want, bud."

Edward and I spent the rest of the night, eating pizza and watching old episodes of AFV. I got showered while he tried finishing up some of his homework. And once I was out, I got a sweet surprise.

"Hella, beautiful." I sighed as I pressed the sned button.

"Hello, darling." My mother's chipper voice sang into the phone. I was a mama's boy. One hundred percent. "How are you?"

"Good, Edward just left." I told her. "But, at least it's quiet."

"Oh, hush." She laughed. "You love that little boys music."

"He's not a little boy anymore, mom."

"He will always be my little boy."

"I thought I was always going to be your little boy?"

"You will be, but he's my little, little boy." She laughed into the phone. "So, we haven't talked in a while. What's going on?" She asked and I took a deep breath. I hadn't told her what was happening with Esme and I knew it would break her heart. Esme was the daughter she never had and it broke her heart when I told her we were seperating. Neither of us had the heart to tell her the real reason, so we told her the same lie we'd been telling everyone else.

"Mom, I have to tell you something." I whispered. I didn't want to have to deal with telling another person after telling Edward. I wanted it to be the three of us and that was it. But, my mother and Esme were close and I couldn't let her not know. "IT's about Esme."

"Are you two getting back together?" She asked excitedly. "Please tell me I'm right, Carlisle."

"No, mom, we're not getting back together." I told her and I could feel her spirit drop over the phone. "Mom, Esme...she's...she's really sick."

"Sick?" She asked. "With what?"

"Stomach cancer." I told her. "Mom?" I asked after she'd been silent for what seemed like an hour.

"Stomach cancer?" She questioned. "Like, what killed her mother?"

"Yes, the same cancer that...killed her mother."

"Are they going to be able to take care of it?" She asked and I could tell she was fighting off tears. "She's going to be okay, right?"

"We hope so, yes." I sighed. "But, nothings certain, mom. You know that...you're always at risk as long as you have it."

"Carlisle, tell me my grandson is going to have his mother." She demanded. I took a deep breath and braced myself for the conversation we were about to have. I didn't want to be the one to break her heart and tell her that I wasn't sure. I couldn't make any promises to her just like I couldn't promise Edward anything. It killed me to know Esme might not make it to Edward's senior prom or high school graduation.

"Carlisle Joseph, tell me my grand-baby is going to have his mother."

"I...I can't, mom." I sighed, fighting back tears. "They're doing everything they can do."

"Put him on the phone." She demanded, practically yelling at me. "Right now, Carlisle Joseph." She demanded, using my middle name again. She only used my middle name when she was angry with me, which was very little, or she was anxious about something. Even when she wasn't raising her voice, she'd always use my middle name if the situation was bad.

"I'll go get him." I sighed, standing up and walking over to his room. He jumped at the chance to talk to her and I left the two of them alone and decided to clean up the living room while they talked. By the time they were done, I only had a few more minutes with him before Esme got there.

"You have everything?" I asked as I switched off the light to his bedroom.

"Yep." He said, smiling at him. I know my mother didn't bring up Esme being sick and could tell he'd be in a good mood for the rest of the night. Esme buzzed for us and we headed downstairs to meet us. Even though she'd seen it, the two of us still had out boundries. I doubt she'd ever come up again. I talked to her about him still having trouble with math and recommended a friend of mine who I worked with to help him. Edward and I said goodbye and as I watched them drive away, my stomach dropped a little.

I knew I'd seen him in less than a week, but I felt like I had such limited time with him. I knew I wanted him to stay with Esme, and I stood by my choice when I agreed to having him on the weekends. But, I hated when he left because the apartment was always so empty. I got ready for bed and slid into the empty, cold bed, trying to sleep.

* * *

I woke up the next morning, and the only thing that pushed me to get out of bed was Bella. It hadn't even been very long, but I had to see her. And, I missed her. I got ready and by the time I got to my office, I was anxious and jumping up and down. I tried to settle myself by grading papers, I only got more jittery and decided to just sit in my office.

When there was a knock at my door, I jumped up and rushed to open it. The only problem was, it was Maddie who was on the other side.

"Hi, Maddie." I sighed as she walked past me, even though I didn't let her inside. "What can I do for you?"

"Oh, nothing." She smiled as she perched herself on my desk. "Just saw you were here earlier than usual and thought I'd...drop by."

"I got here early so I could get some work done." I told her. "Plus, I have a meeting with a student before her class." That part was actually true. Bella and I were going to talk about her doing a double major. Things needed to be worked out and she needed to be caught up on the work I was doing with my graduate class.

"Oh?" She asked, grabbing my tie and yanking me towards her. "Because, you have nothing on your desk, and...the hallway is empty."

"Maddie, no." I told her, freeing myself from her grip. "Now, please leave."

"What is the matter with you?" She asked, her voice rising. "You were pawning to get my clothes off a few months ago, and now you're trying to get rid of me?"

"Yes, I am." I told her. "It was a mistake to go as far as I did with you. I was upset and vulnerable and...you took advantage of that."

"Took advantage?" She laughed. "What are we, sixteen?"

"No, but it's true. You knew how heartbroken and confused I was that day. You knew as well as anyone that my marriage was over." I told her. "And, you knew why too."

"Look, just because my brother and your wife fooled around doesn't mean anything." She told me. "None of that is my fault."

"No, but I can't look at you without seeing him...since you know, you're twins."

"We look nothing alike." She argued. "It's time to move on, Carlisle."

"Maddie, let me put this in words you might understand." I whispered, leaning in close to her. "I would never start anything with you weather Esme cheated on me with your brother, or any other man on this earth. Got it? I've never felt anything for you, and I certainly feeling nothing now."

"You're making a mistake, Carlisle." She told me as she got up and walked to the door. When it opened, Bella was standing at the door, looking almost white. "You're student is here." Bella rushed inside and slammed the door. The look on her face told me she'd heard what Maddie and I had been talking about. I never told her why I disliked Maddie so much, and now she finally knew why.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked, pushing the hair out of my eyes.

"Because, I didn't think it mattered." I told her honestly. "I mean, what does it matter if Esme cheated on me with someone I knew or not? She cheated on me."

"Were you and her brothers friends?" She asked softly.

"Yeah," I sighed. "Closer than Emmett and I are." I told her. It wasn't like I was trying to hide this from her, but I just...didn't want to say anything. I'd known Maddie and her brother since college. It was her brother that introduced Esme and I. He set up the blind date and he was in our wedding. Maddie had always hated Esme for taking me away, but her brother and I were always close.

"I met the two of them at school." I sighed. "Jason introduced Esme and I. He set up the blind date we went on together."

"Oh,"

"Yeah, he lived in the room across from mine. He was in our wedding." I told her. "Maddie and Esme never got along because Esme knew how Maddie felt. She couldn't just be happy for me and she was always angry at Jason for it."

"I'm sorry, Carlisle." She whispered, kissing my forehead.

"I caught them in bed together." I told her without knowing exactly what I was saying. I hadn't told anyone that, not even Emmett. Jason lived in San Diego, working for his father in some big time company. I hadn't seen him since Christmas the year and Esme got married. But, he was coming to town to visit his sister and Esme and I. But, he'd had a lot more time with Esme than I expected.

"He was visiting Maddie from out of town." I began. "Esme and I had invited him over to dinner on one of his last nights. Edward was at Esme's father's house, and I was running late...traffic. They had the house all to themselves, and too much to drink. I walked inside and heard her screams. I panicked, thinking someone was raping her or attacking her..."

"Carlisle,"

"I grabbed a knife and ran upstairs." I choked out. "I stormed into our bedroom...and saw her...on top of him...both naked. They didn't even break apart when I walked inside...only when I dropped the knife on the floor did they break apart. I chased him out of the house in only his boxers and called a lawyer that night. I slept on Emmett's couch."

"Would it have been...different if it weren't your friend?" She asked. "Would you have been so quick to ask for the divorce."

"I don't know." I sighed. "I just felt so...betrayed. Not only was she cheating on me, but she was cheating on me with my best friend."

"I'm so sorry."

"That wasn't the first time, either." I told her. "She later told me they hooked up constantly while we were in school...before and after we met. Since he moved, they didn't have many...options to be together anymore. It was such a punch in the gut."

"I can't even imagine." She whispered, kissing the top of my head.

Bella and I spent the rest of the morning together in each other's arms. We didn't get anything done that we'd planned to and we were both late to our class. I had no clue what drove me to tell Bella all of that. All I knew was that I could trust her, and I didn't have to worry about her saying anything.

* * *

"I'm going to take you out tonight." I whispered as she lay in my arms after classes that day.

"What?" She asked, pushing herself onto her elbows. "Carlisle, going to your house was risk enough. I don't think we should push it."

"Bella, I know where most of the professors in this school live and where they go out." I told her. "We'll be fine."

"I just don't think it's a good idea." She told me again, standing up and finding her bra on the floor. I sat up, and only watched her. A few days ago, we were making out in my car, and now she was refusing my offer to take her to dinner? It just didn't make sense.

"But, it's a good idea to make out in my car?"

"No, it wasn't." She said, zipping her jeans and picking up her sweatshirt. "Plus, I have homework. I don't go out on weeknights."

"But, I have Edward on the weekends." I reminded her. "How are we going to go out?"

"I guess we won't." She shrugged, coming over and bending down next to me. "I gotta go. Bye." She whispered, kissing me on the lips and grabbing her bag. I just starred at the door after it was shut, trying to wrap my brains around what had just happened. Bella rejected me and in the weirdest way. She denied my offer to go to dinner, out on a real date. A few days ago, I thought we were beginning a real relationships, and those included dates. Didn't they?

I got up and got dressed and headed out to meet Emmett for lunch. Things were calming down at the house now that Ariana was older and he was able to stay on campus for lunch now.

I told him about Maddie and then about what happened with Bella. Since he didn't know the details about Maddie, I only told him that she hit on me again and that Bella heard. He suggested that Bella was jealous.

"Bella's too mature to be jealous of someone." I told him.

"She may be mature, but she's still a...nineteen...year old girl." He told me. "And, Maddie may be better suited for you. I mean, closer in age, both professors, and lets face it, Maddie's not ugly."

"But, wouldn't Bella be fighting for me then?" I asked. "If she thought I was going to be taken away from her?"

"Maybe, maybe not." He shrugged. "It depends on the girl really."

"But she shouldn't be jealous. She knows how much I can't stand Maddie."

"She also knows you were willing to sleep with her at one point." He pointed out. I had actually forgotten that Bella walked in on Maddie and myself as we were taking each other's clothes off. Now I understood where Emmett was coming from.

"Shit," I sighed, rubbing my eyes. "Damn, she's jealous, isn't she?"

"Yeah, man. Very."

"What do I do?"

"Give her space and talk to her tomorrow." He suggested. "That's what I did with Rosalie when she acted this way."

"This happened to you and Rosalie?"

"More than once, but after the first time Rosalie didn't care." He told me. "I was the star football player and...let's face it...hot as hell. Girls were always throwing themselves at me. I gave Rose her space, talked it out, and it wasn't a problem again."

"Really, just like that?"

"Just like that." He nodded.


	12. You, Me, We, Us

**Chapter Elven: You, Me, We, Us**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"I hate her so much!" I yelled as I sat down across from Alice at lunch.

"Who?" She asked, handing me a fry.

"_Professor Morris_." I said in a mocking tone. "She's always all over Carlisle and I'm tired of it! He rejected her, he doesn't like her! Like she needs to get the fuck over it!"

"Bella, are you...are you _jealous_?" She asked, a smug look on her face.

"No. I just hate her."

"Would you hate her if she wasn't flirting with Dr. Cullen?" She asked and I realized, I was jealous. I'd never wanted to rip someones head off so much in my entire life. All the time. She was just always...there. She never let him be and she always seemed to know the perfect time to knock on his door to interupt us.

"Maybe I am jealous." I admitted. "But, wouldn't you be if some good looking blonde was flirting with the guy you...were seeing? Not only is she gorgeous but she's closer to his age...and she's in the same profession he's in."

"Yes I'd be jealous and maybe you're right." She told me. "But, he picked you over her, Bella. You're the one who went over and spent the entire weekend with him and his son. Not her."

"But, he was willing to give her...something at one point."

"Yeah, and I doubt it's ever come close to happening again." She pointed out. "Plus, I think he was angry and vulnerable that day. You said yourself he'd just signed his divorce papers the other day."

"True,"

"He slept with you because he was attracted to you and felt something for you." She reminded me. "Plus, you two have more than they ever would."

"You're right." I sighed. "I guess I should go tell him we can go out tonight, huh?"

"Yes. And then come to me and I'll make you beautiful!"

"Sounds good," I laughed as I grabbed my bag and made my way across campus to his office. I didn't have much time before we both had classes, but I couldn't let it go until afterwards. I lightly knocked on the door and he swung it open, giving me a surprised look.

"Bella!" He called and I realized he was shirtless. "What are you doing here?" He asked, sounding nervous. I knew he was hiding something and I pushed past him to see what exactly it was. I saw Maddie, topless as well, sitting on his desk, looking pleased with herself. I turned around and bolted out of the office, and began down the stairs.

"Bella!" I heard him calling after me as I bolted out the door. I kept walking, and I could hear that he was still behind me. "Bella!" He yelled, grabbing my arm and pulling me back towards him.

"Let go of me!" I shouted, and I could feel peoples eyes on us. We were in the middle of campus, and his shirt was open. "You're making a scene."

"Let me explain."

"No. You don't get to." I whispered. "Now, let go or I'll _make a scene_." I threatened and he reluctantly let go of my wrist. I turned and began running in the direction of my dorm, trying to fight off tears. But I was powerless against my emotions and tears were violently streaming down my face as I slowed down to a walk. My vision was so blurry, I couldn't tell who it was who I ran into.

"Whoa," A familiar voice sighed as he held me after running into me. "Bella?" He asked and I looked up to see Jacob, a kid I met last year in a freshman lit class.

"Hi, Jake." I said, breathing heavily.

"Bella, are you alright?" He asked gently as we sat down on a wall nearby.

"Yeah, just...just a lot going on right now." I lied. I was a wreck and just wanted to get out of here. I knew Jake had a crush on me, he'd never told me but it was obvious. He was always sitting next to me and asking if I would help him with the work we had due. He was a sweet kid and he was very good looking, but I'd never been inerested in him that way.

"You...you don't seem okay."

"Just...boy troubles." I told him honestly. He didn't need to know the boy was a professor here.

"Do I need to kick some ass?" He laughed, trying to lighten the mood. But, nothing could lighten the mood. I turned to see Carlisle jogging towards me and without thinking, grabbed Jacob by his collar and brought his lips to mine in a violent, passionate kiss. I could feel the excitement in his kiss and moaned loudly into his mouth in case Carlisle could hear. When I let go, Jake looked starstruck and I knew I'd made my point to Carlisle.

I looked up and saw his pale, white face starring at us. He looked as if he were on the verge of tears and honestly looked like he was going to be sick. I gave him a smirky smile and leaned into kiss Jake again. Jacob was happy to give me what I wanted.

"I...I gotta go, Bella." Jake said as we came up for air. I could see Carlisle hadn't moved from the corner of my eyes and I knew I'd fulfilled whatever it was I needed to. "I've got class."

"Go, it's okay." I told him and he stood up and walked past Carlisle. I got up and began walking the way towards my dorm and I felt a hand grab my wrist again.

"What the hell was that about?" He demanded, his voice low and angry.

"Let go of me." I demanded.

"No ones around, Bella." He reminded me. "You can't _make a scene_ right now."

"I got my revenge." I snorted. "Now you know what it feels like."

"Except nothing happened with me and Maddie."

"Yeah, because I'm sure you and all your coworkers sit in each other's office without shirts on." I whispered.

"She spilled coffee on my shirt while we were having a meeting. Another professor was there with us and went to get me a spare shirt from his office." He explained. "Maddie took her shirt off when she heard the knock on the door. I had no idea she was just in her bra when I opened the door.

"Then why did you look so guilty when you opened the door?"

"Because I felt awkward in my bare chest." He told me. "Bella, I would _never_ hurt you. Ever."

"How can I be sure that you aren't lying?"

"You have to trust me." He whispered.

"I do...it's her I don't trust." I whispered. "She's always going to try and be with you...she's never going to stop."

"Probably not, but you just have to trust me." He sighed. "Because...I feel nothing for Maddie. But, Bella...I love you." He whispered, grabbing my attention.

"You...you what?"

"I love you, Bella." He smiled. "I was going to tell you tonight at dinner, but...nows a good a time as any, right."

"You...you love me?" I asked, and I felt tears in my eyes. "Really?"

"Really, really." He smiled, wiping the tear that was falling down my cheek. I realized several seconds past since he's said he loved me three times and I'd said nothing.

"I...I love you too." I smiled, leaning in and kissing him. I wrapped my hands around his neck as the wind gently picked up, sending leaves everywhere. We talked for a few more minutes before we both had to leave and we reluctantly parted ways.

* * *

"You kissed Jake?" Alice asked after I'd told her what happened. Out of everything I told her, that was thing she decided to question. She'd met Jake a few times and repeatedly told me if I wasn't with Carlisle, she'd want me with him. "Was it...was it a good kiss at least?"

"That's your question?" I laughed as I looked through my closet, looking for the perfect date outfit. I wasn't a bad dresser, but I was more comfy in converse and a t-shirt. I hadn't been on a first date in a while, and I was in love with the guy. I wanted to dress to impress.

"Yes, thats the question I'm asking." She sighed. "Now answer it."

"It wasn't bad." I told her. "But, it wasn't as good as Carlisle's." I said, and I could feel my face turning red.

"That's good to know." She smiled. "So, you two worked everything out?" She asked. I decided not to tell her about telling each other how we felt because I knew she'd find a way to lecture me. Be careful. You're going to fast. Maybe you should go slower. I could hear it all in my head and I just wanted to focus on my date tonight.

"Yes, and we're going out tonight." I told her, holding up one of the few dresses I brought with me. It was a sun dress and it was way too cold to be wearing it. I sighed as I put it back in my closet and continued to look.

"Come here." She sighed, pulling me to her closet. Somehow, by a miracle, her's was bigger than mine and she was able to store a lot more. I didn't mind since mine fit everything perfectly, but it'd still be nice for the extra space. "Pick anything."

"Anything?" I asked, touching the seams of the clothes. It was like my own personal dresser and closet.

"Anything." She smiled. She pushed me out of the way though, and began sorting through it herself. She pulled out a red, lace dress that looked like it would hug my body. She handed to me and I only stared. Alice wasn't a rich snob, but she wasn't going to thrift stores for her clothes. She told me she never really bought anything unless it was on sale, unless it was something she loved.

"Wear this and he'll be head over heals for you."She told me. "Go try it on."

"Okay," I smiled as I went across the hallway into the bathroom. I normally changed in our dorm, but tonight I just wanted to get dressed and look in the mirror and decide for myself if it was what I wanted to wear. I emerged from the stall and found myself standing in front of the full length mirror. For the first time in my life, I felt...pretty. Really pretty. I never thought I was ugly, just average. For once, I felt more than average and couldn't wait to go out with Carlisle in this.

"Perfect." She told me as I walked back inside. "But...it's missing something."

"No, this is good."

"I was going to say shoes...unless you wanna go barefoot tonight." She laughed, digging tat the bottom of her closet. She handed me a pair of nude colored heals and thanked god we were the same size. I looked in the mirror again and she sat me down to do my hair. She only straigtened it and put a smige of make-up on, but she really did make me look better.

At half past five, I made my way to the parking lot where the cab was picking me up. Carlisle wouldn't stop apologizing about the fact he couldn't pick me up at my door, but I understood. We were both trying to stay at school, and this was the easiest way. The cab dropped me off at Carlisle's building and I took a deep breath as I buzzed in. Carlisle let me inside and I made my way upstairs.

I knocked on the door and he opened it, pushing me inside and walking outside, closing the door behind him. A few seconds later, there was a knock on the door and I couldn't help but laugh when I saw him standing there with a bouque of flowers, looking as good as ever.

"Hello," I smiled, leaning in and kissing him. "What are these for."

"You." He whispered, kissing me again and pushing me inside. He kicked the door shut and dropped the flowers on the table near the door. "You look beautiful."

"Thanks," I whispered as he began kissing my neck. "But, if you keep doing that, we won't make it to dinner."

"Fine, but you owe me."

"Of course." I agreed as he grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door. The drive was kind of long, but only because we had to make sure we wouldn't be seen together. But, it was worth the drive. He pulled into a small, little cafe that was so old and beautiful. I got out of the car and only stared.

"How did you find this place?" I asked as he closed my door.

"My mother brought me here once when we were visiting New York." He told me. "I'm a mama's boy, so this place is very special. I've never taken anyone else here before."

"Not...not even Esme?"

"Not even Esme." He told me and I felt a surge of happiness race through my body. He was taking me somewhere special that he hadn't taken Esme before. We walked inside and got our table. It was a small menu, but the food all looked delicious.

"What do you recommend?"

"I don't know," He sighed, looking down at his menu. "I haven't been here in a very long time. But, I do remember their alfrado sauce was to die for."

"Sounds perfect." I smiled at him as he grabbed my hand. We ordered and as we waited for our food, he just stared at me. "What?"I finally asked.

"You know, it dawned on me this afternoon, that I've fallen in love with you...yet I know very little about you Bella." He sighed. "I mean, I know you...but I really don't know what makes you...you."

"What do you wanna know?" I asked.

"Everything." He whispered. So, I told him everything. From growing up to a small town, to the abusive boyfriend I had in eleventh grade.

"He...he what?" Carlisle asked after I told him what happened the last night we were together. "He...he raped you?"

"Yeah," I answered. He'd been so honest with me, it was time I be honest with him. "I mean he got be drunk so I didn't know what was happening...but when I woke up without any clothes on, I put the pieces together."

"Bella..."

"It's okay." I told him. "I've been to counsoling and I've dealt with it. It's...it's in my past." It was true. It took a while, but I eventually healed and thats when I met Jordan.

"So...this Jordan guy..."

"We left things on very good terms." I smiled. "He went to Stanford and I came to NYU. We decided it was best to end things now then try to push ourselves into a relationship and end up doing something we'd regret. I actually just talked to him the other day."

"You...you did?"

"Yes, and he's very happy with his girlfriend of one year." I laughed. "Her name is Nicole and when I talked to him, they were planning on moving in together next year and he actually hopes to marry her."

"Facinating."

"I think so." I laughed. And then, I continued to tell him everything about my life. From my parents to the decision to move so far from home. By the time I was done talking, we'd both eaten and it was time to go home. Since we both had later classes in the morning, we decided I'd be able to spend the night at his place, and we wouldn't be dead tired during class.

We barely made it to the door and both our coats were off by the time we got inside. I kicked off my heels as he began unbuttoning the sweater he'd been wearing. Our lips met once again and he reached around and began unzipping my dress. He got it undone and slid it off of my body as I tried to unbutton his shirt he was wearing. When we were both finally in our underwear, he picked me up and carried me into his bedroom.

He threw me onto his bed and crawled on top of me, kissing every inch of my body until he came to the cups of my bra. He gently kissed the tops of each of my breasts as he unclasped my bra. He gently slid the straps off my arms, leaving me bare. It was that moment I knew I didn't have to feel unattractive or subcauntious about my body. Carlisle loved me for who I was, not what I looked like.

"Beautiful." He whispered as he kissed each of my nipples. He then went on to suck each of them until I couldn't take it anymore and felt as if I were about to explode. It also didn't help that he was rubbing me through my panties, teasing me in just the right way. I used my feet to push his boxers down and reached down and grabbed him in my hands. I gently rubbed him as he pulled my panties down.

He rolled around until I was sitting on top of him, and he was perfectly at my entrance. I leaned down and began kissing his chest, teasing him as he'd teased me just a few minutes ago. I knew he was getting worked up by the heaviness of his panting and the fact that he kept growing harder as I gently ground against him.

"What you get for teasing me." I whispered seductively into his ear as I flipped us around again. He smiled down at me, leaning in and giving me one last kiss before entering me. "Oh SHIT!" I yelled as he slammed into me.

Carlisle and I had a healthy sex life under the circumstances, but this had to have been the best time yet. It was a mixture of soft, yet hard, and gentle yet rough. It was the best night we'd ever had.

"Oh...Bella...I...I'm not going to last much longer." He panted as I also neared my orgasm.

"Me...me too!" I yelled as I arched my back, creating a new and wonderful angel for him to pound into me. "Oh...FUCK!" I yelled as he hit my G-spot, and I came...hard. I felt him come inside of me and I said a silent prayer in thanks to birth control. He laid on top of me, breathless and sedated. Finally, he pulled out of me and rolled over to the other side of the bed, pulling me with him.

"That was...amazing." He sighed, kissing the top of my head.

"It sure was." I agreed, taking his hand in mine. Carlisle was all mine and no one was going to take him away.

"I love you." He whispered as I began falling asleep. I only squeezed his hand tighter, and he kissed my cheek. He knew how I felt. There were no words that described how I was feeling.


	13. Words You Say

**Chapter Twelve: Words You Say**

* * *

**Carlisle's POV**

The past few weeks passed by blissfully with Bella. We'd both given into our feelings and there was nothing we were hiding from each other. Maddie seemed to have gotten the hint and she hadn't hit on me since Bella thought I was cheating on her with Maddie. Bella also got along way too well with Edward and it seemed like he liker her more than me.

It was understandable though. Bella was perfection and I couldn't deny that. She was smart, kind, loving, funny. Everything Esme was, but magnified. She was the girl I always pictured myself with and I was on cloud nine every time I was with her.

Since we were officially an item, we didn't have to worry about fooling around at school anymore. She came over my place for most nights out of the week except for Monday and Wednesday when she had early class the next day. My apartment was a perfect distance from school because we didn't have to worry about being caught and could be free together. It was almost like I was in a real relationship.

"Is Bella going to be over tomorrow?" Edward asked as we waited in the waiting room of the hospital. It was the day of Esme's surgery and Edward insisted on being there, if only to keep me company.

"I doubt it, bud." I sighed. "It's been a long day."

"But, I want her there." He pleaded, sticking hit bottom lip out at me. It almost made me nervous about how attached he was getting, but I wanted him to have this. Esme was getting sicker and now she was going to be recovering from surgery. I wanted to have that person he could talk to when the world seemed to have disappeared.

"Why don't you call and ask." I suggested.

"I don't have her number."

"Take it." I smiled, handing him my phone. He took it and ran outside and I saw him smiling from ear to ear when she answered the phone. He gave me a big, cheeky grin and I knew she was going to be over tomorrow night. As he talked, I saw Emmett walking up behind him, poking his sides and scaring him half to death.

"Please don't kill my child by scaring him." I laughed as he walked through the automatic doors of the hospital. He only laughed as he sat down next to me.

"How're you doing?" He asked.

"Pretty good." I sighed. "She should be out soon...even though she's going to still be heavily sedated for the rest of the day."

"At least she'll be safe."

"Hopefully." I sighed and he only gave me a look. "This isn't one hundred percent, Emmett. A lot could go wrong, or it could have just spread too quickly."

"You gotta be positive." He whispered. "For Edward at least."

"I know, but it's so hard." I cried. "I...I love Bella So much. I'm over Esme. But...I...I can't watch her...die..."

"You won't have to."

"You don't know that, Emmett." I cried. "You don't know that for certain."

"No, but Esme's a fighter." He smiled. "She won't let this kill her."

"Thats what her father said about her mother." I cried and I knew he wasn't going to say anything else. It was true. Edward's grandpa said Esme's mom was a fighter, and that the cancer wouldn't kill her. But, it did and it happened a lot quicker than we thought it would. Edward came back inside a little bit later and sat next to Emmett.

Another hour passed and Esme's father walked into the waiting room. He'd been sitting as close to Esme as he could, even though it was on the floor behind doors leading to a hallway. I stood and he just gave me a nod. The surgery had gone according to plan and now all we could do was wait. Emmett took Edward back to his place to see Ariana as I went with George to sit by Esme's side.

As the doctors predicted, she was out for the rest of the night. I reluctantly left her side when I had to take Edward home. I'd been telling him he was going to school the next day, but I knew I'd cave and let him stay home. I knew he'd enjoy coming on campus with me during the day and 'living like a college kid' for a few hours.

Edward sluggily walked up the stairs to the apartment building and could barely keep his eyes open as we rode the elevator up. We'd been up since four in the morning and he refused to take a nap while we waited. I dragged him down the hallway and opened the door and had never been so pleasantly surprised. Bella was sitting on the couch, just reading a psyc book.

She'd cleaned the entire apartment from top to bottom and filled the fridge and freezer with frozen dinners so Edward and I could actually be fed while she wasn't here to help me out.

As much as Edward wanted to stay up with Bella, he only managed to stay awake ten minutes after getting home. I carried him into his room and went to sit on the couch with Bella. However, after only twenty minutes, I was fighting to stay awake. My earliest class was at ten, so at least I didn't have to wake up extremely early.

"Come on, let's go to bed." She whispered, kissing my cheek and pushing me up.

"No, I wanna see you." I argued. I did want to sleep, but I wanted to see her more than anything.

"You will, tomorrow morning when your eyes are actually opened." She laughed. "Come on, you're exhausted. You need sleep."

"I need you."

"You have me." She laughed as she pulled me up from the couch. "And I'll be by your side all night long."

"Are you sure?"

"No, I was totally joking about saying you could go to sleep because you've been up since the early hours of the morning. I want you to stay up all night long and talk to me." She said sarcastically as she rolled her eyes. "Yes I'm sure. Go, change into your PJ's."

"Okay, thanks." I whispered, pecking her on the cheeks. I hadn't had something like this since Esme and I began dating. I loved being married to Esme, but I did miss...this. The beginning of a relationship. The heat and passion that came with it, but also the tenderness and small little things that made us who we were. The kisses on the cheek, the swaying to soft music, the feeding each other dessert after dinner. I missed those moments while I was married.

I fell asleep as my head hit the pillow and slept like a rock. As much as I wanted to turn off my alarm and sleep all day, my students didn't deserve that and I only hit the snooze button. By the time it went off for the third time, I knew I was already running late and dragged myself out of bed. Bella was in the kitchen already making something and I got up to get dressed.

I wadded out to the kitchen after pulling my pants on and saw Edward and Bella, sitting at the table, laughing hystarically about something. I smiled at them. I never thought they'd like each other this much, and I was so thankful. It made my life a whole lot easier and there was no awkwardness for me to deal with.

"What are you two laughing about?" I asked as I poured myself a cup of coffee.

"Nothing." Edward said ever so sneakily.

"Okay," I laughed. This was clearly something between the two of them and I wasn't going to intrude on that. I grabbed a piece of toast and went to finish getting ready. Bella had been kind enough and helped Edward get ready. I loved the boy dearly, but he couldn't dress himself. He tried. He tried so hard but Esme and I normally picked out his outfit for him, or sat with him as he picked out an outfit.

When we were all ready to go, Bella and I said goodbye before Bella got into the used car she bought a few weeks ago. Edward and I got on the road and made our way onto campus. We stopped to say hi to Emmett before making my way to my building. Maddie was there and greeted us, but she was on her best behvior and Edward and I made it up to my office without any problems.

We got there as a class was filing in and I set Edward up with games on my laptop as I went out and began the lesson. Edward had perfect manners and didn't bother me once while I was teaching. He'd been to the campus enough and knew pretty much everyone in my department and where he needed to go to get the things he needed. I was so thankful Esme and I raised him right.

After my morning classes, Edward and I set off to have lunch together, but when I opened the door, I realized plans had changed. Bella was standing there with a picnic basket in her hands.

"What's this?" I asked as she walked inside so no one would catch her.

"Lunch." She smiled, kissing me on the cheek.

"We have plans with Emmett." I shrugged, looking at Edward, but he only had his cheeky smile on. "What?"

"_I_ have plans with Emmett." He laughed. "You and Bella are going to have a romantic picnic in your office for your lunch break." He smiled as there was a knock on the door. Edward went to open it and Emmett was there, ready to go.

"Em, you don't have to do this." I told him.

"No, I do." He insisted. "I live in a house with two girls. I need some male bonding time."

"Okay,"

"You and Bella have fun." He told me. "We'll be back in an hour."

"Thanks, Mr. McCarty." Bella blushed. Great, he had my own girlfriend swooning over him.

"No problem, and please...call me Emmett." He winked as he closed the door.

"You're married, remember?" I called as the door shut. I shook my head as I turned towards Bella. She had set the basket on the table near the wall and was facing me. Her face was turned serious and lustful and I couldn't help myself from walking towards her. I kissed her as soon as I reached her and she wrapped her hands tightly around my neck.

I bent down and grabbed her butt, picking her up into my arms. She tightly wrapped her legs around my waist, creating a wonderful friction. Just as I set her down on my desk, there was a loud knock on the door.

"Damn," I whispered, stepping back and tightening my tie again. I gave myself a few seconds before going and opening the door. Maddie was standing there with a smug little look on her face. "What's up?"

"You free for lunch?" She asked, leaning up against the door frame. It took a lot of strength to not roll my eyes at her.

"No, I'm having a lunch meeting." I told her, turning to show her Bella. "One of my students has just decided to do a double major and I need to catch her up on the work."

"Oh," She sighed, looking annoyed. I was afraid she was going to catch on to Bella and I. "Maybe tomorrow."

"Maybe." I lied. "I'll see you later, Maddie." I said, closing the door in her face. I turned to Bella and she was laying out the food for us.

"Shall we?" She asked weakly. She was still nervous something was going to happen between Maddie and I. I could tell by the tone in her voice, and I didn't know what to do. She was hurting, and she wasn't going to say anything because that meant she didn't trust me. Neither of us would win in this situation.

* * *

I walked down the dreary hallway and stopped in front of the big, wooden door. It had been a week since Esme's surgery and Edward was with his grandpa for the day. I had to see her. I had to know she was doing okay, and I had to see for myself. I gently pushed the door open and saw her lying in the hospital bed, looking so small. She was facing the ceiling, earbuds in.

"Esme?" I asked and she looked over and smiled at me. She removed the earbuds and reached her hand out towards me. "How're you feeling?"

"Remember when I said having the C-section was the worst pain I'd ever been in afterwards?" she asked and I only smiled at her. "This was actually worse."

"I can...I can imagine." I sighed as I sat down next to her. The smile she had quickly faded and she squeezed my hand.

"What's wrong?" She asked. I could talk to her about anything...and I had to talk to her.

"Esme...I'm seeing someone." I told her. "And Maddie keeps trying to...get with me and...she says she trusts me but I can tell that she's so scarred of losing me to Maddie or something. No matter what I tell her...she still won't believe me...or can't believe me. I just...I don't wanna lose her."

"You have to talk to her, Carlisle."

"How?" I asked. "I haven't felt this way about anyone since...since you. I'm afraid if I...I accuse her of not trusting me, she'll leave."

"Do you love her?"

"Yeah, I do." I smiled. I didn't want Esme to feel badly about anything, but I needed to talk to someone. No matter how close I was with Emmett, Esme would always be my best friend. The only person I could fully trust. "And...I can't lose her like I lost you."

"She doesn't sound...stupid like I was." She whispered. Esme clung so hard to her guilt. I could tell it was still eating her alive, even after two years. "Talk to her, Carlisle."

"But, what if..." I didn't get to finish my sentence before machines started beeping. Esme's grip loosened on my hand and soon, her eyes were closing. The door slammed ope and doctors and nurses began rushing inside. They kicked me out, and I stayed in front of the door until one of them came back outside. It seemed like it'd been days, when it was only hours.

"What's wrong?" I asked the doctor. "What happened?"

"She developed an infection from the surgery." He explained. "She's stable now."

"An infection?"I asked. "It's been a week?"

"It's been building up in her system." He told me. "She was showing mild signs, and unfortunately, we missed it."

"You...you missed it?" I asked.

"Yes, Mr. Cullen. We are doctors, but we're humans." He said. "We did what we needed to and she's going to be fine. The infection is the lest of her problems."

"But, you got all the cancer?"

"We hope so." He sighed. "But, cancer isn't always curable. We haven't tested to see if we got all of it yet."

"Why not?"

"She still has some recovering to do before we can run tests." He explained as his beeper went off. "Excuse me." He whispered and walked away. I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready for Esme to be sick. Things were just getting to be okay. It never really _hit_ me until now. I sat with Esme for a bit longer as she slept before the nurse came in, telling me visiting hours were over.

I then found myself parked outside of my apartment building. I didn't even remember getting there. I was in such a weird fog that I didn't hear Edward knocking on the door.

"Dad?" He asked through the glass. I rolled the window down and let him talk. I loved my son, but I just couldn't hear him right now. Everything he said, came out in a jumble and I couldn't hear anything. Couldn't see. I loved Bella, but if I lost Esme, it would be like losing air. It would be hard to live without her here with me.

"You hungry?" I asked as I got out of that car.

"Uhhh, dad...that's what I was asking about." He said as we walked over to his grandpa's car. "I want to get chinese."

"Chinese sounds good." I sighed. I let the two of them say goodbye before he jumped into my car. We headed down to the small chinese place down the road and quickly ate. He actually had to be in bed at a normal hour tonight. I'd been letting it slide since so much was happening, but since he was going to be staying with me for a while, I had to start putting my foot down.

It was a sleepless night. Bella had an early class so she slept at school, and my mind just wouldn't stop. All I could think about was how was I going to take care of Edward by myself. The school was letting it slide for now while she was in the hospital, but what would I do if she were to pass. Move back home? Find an apartment in his school district? Make him move schools?

And that wasn't all. What was I going to do when I had to be at school earlier than he did? I couldn't keep relying on Tyler. He had a family of his own, and his father to care for. There were so many things that would have to change and I never really noticed or cared until now. By the time my alarm went off for the third time, I'd only gotten a few hours of sleep.

"You okay, dad?" Edward asked as I came out of the shower. He'd grabbed himself some Trix and was taken care of as far as breakfast went.

"Fine, I couldn't sleep." I yawned. "You ready for school?"

"Yep." He smiled. "Are you taking me?"

"I can't." I told him. "Mrs. Braverman is going to take you."

"Mrs. Who?"

"The older lady next door." I told him. "I have a lot to do today or else I would."

"I understand." He smiled. "Will Bella be here tonight?"

"I believe so." I smiled. Just knowing I was going to see her made this day a little better. I got both of us ready and we were right on time when Mrs. Braverman knocked on the door. I watched as they drove away and got into my own car. I drove to the campus and made it just in time for my first class. I kept looking at the clock, just wanting the day to be over so I could be with Bella and Edward.

The two I cared about most in this world.


	14. Lose Myself

**Chapter Thirteen: Lose Myself**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"So, you didn't say anything to your father, did you?" I asked as we finished bringing in the groceries. I could tell how upset and stressed out Carlisle was and I wanted to make him feel better. Edward and I concocted an idea that I would make the three of us dinner, and then spend the night together. I knew I would never replace Esme, but it was nice to feel like a family.

"I swear." He laughed, putting the things in the fridge. Carlisle's favorite meal as a kid was Mac N' Cheese so I was making his mothers famous recipe, as well as a salad and Chocolate Silk Pie for desert. And then, for after Edward was asleep, a slutty little nighty with chocolate covered strawberries. He was going to be so happy in the mourning.

Edward and I began prepping the food and then we began putting the ingredients together for the macaroni. It was almost time for him to start packing up by the time we got to the pie. My phone began buzzing, and it was very hard not to laugh when I answered.

"Hello?" I asked, covering Edward's mouth.

"Hey, do you need a ride for tonight?" He asked, sounding tired.

"No, I have some work I have to do." I lied. "Ali and I are going to the library for a bit. I'll be over by like eight."

"I might be asleep by then."

"That's okay." I sighed. "I have my key." We finished talking and then the two of us continued working on the pie. By the time Edward got the call, saying her was almost there, I was getting dressed. Nothing fancy, but it was 'date night' technically. Edward changed into his khakies and it was just in the knick of time. I could hear the key turning in the lock as I was taking the dish out of the oven.

"Edward, did you cook or something?" He laughed as he walked into the kitchen. A smile spread across his face as he walked deeper into the kitchen, seeing the Mac N' Cheese sitting on the stove, he began to laugh. "Why did you do this?" He asked, picking me up in a tight hug.

"You deserve it." I shrugged. "You've been so stressed out lately, I wanted to do something for you."

"Being with me is enough."

"Nothing will ever be enough." I whispered, leaning in and kissing him. I saw Edward smile as he backed out of the room and laughed when I heard him turn on music. It was one of those lame songs your always here in the movies right before a couple kisses...or more. Edward gracefully went into his room so Carlisle and I could have a few minutes to ourselves before dinner was ready.

"Holy shit." He whispered as he took a bite of the macaroni. "Bella this is..."

"Your mothers recipe." I told him, and he only looked at me confused. "Edward called her and got it."

"Thanks, bud." He smiled.

For the first time that night, I realized I wanted it. I wanted the family dinners with the laughing and serious talks. I wanted a husband to come home and kiss me after a long day and I wanted to surprise him with things like this. I wanted a son or daughter to be proud of something they did like Edward was like with his piano playing. I wanted to know I'd always have someone.

I wasn't sure how long things with Carlisle would last. We'd grown very serious very fast. He knew everything about me, and I knew everything there was to know about him. But, I knew that in that moment...I wanted it all with him. Everything. Marriage. Kids. A life. I couldn't picture myself with anyone else for...forever.

"I learned something else." Edward told us as we cleaned up the kitchen. "On the piano. Come on, you gotta here this!"

"I think he wants us to follow him." Carlisle laughed as Edward ran into his bedroom. When we got to the doorway, he was already sitting on the bench, his hands on the keys. "What did you learn to play, Edward?"

"You'll see." He smiled as he pressed down on the first chord. I recognized the song immediately as _Stay_ by Rihanna. He almost had me in tears by the time he was finished. It explained everything I was feeling about Carlisle in one, little song and I grabbed his hand tightly in mine.

"Hey, you alright?" Carlisle whispered.

"Yeah." I lied. Truthfully, I was scarred as hell. I didn't want what we had to end, but I had a bad feeling ti was going to happen no matter how hard we clung to each other. The age difference alone was enough to rip us apart, and that wasn't our biggest problem. He was one of my professors, everyday we were together we were risking everything. He also had a life established. An ex-wife in the hospital and a son afraid of losing her. He had friends, people he wouldn't be able to introduce me to.

He pulled me out of Edward's room and into his after he'd finished the song and he got his check mark. He sat me down on the bed, and forced me to look at him.

"You know as well as I do that this is never going to work unless we're honest with each other." He kindly pointed out. "Now, tell me what's wrong."

"I'm scared, Carlisle." I sobbed, leaning into him and resting my head on his shoulder. "I'm so scared I'm going to lose you."

"Why are you going to lose me?"

"Because...everything is against us...not for us." I cried as he handed me a tissue. "You're my professor, fourteen years older than me...you have a life."

"And you're apart of that life," He whispered, taking the tissue and wiping my face for me. "Bella, the professor thing is never going to be easy. I'll give you that, but what does age have to do with anything?"

"I want kids, Carlisle." I whispered and I felt him stiffen. "By the time I'm ready, you'll be almost forty. I want a marriage and kids and a house in the suburbs with a yard. You...you did that already."

"Yes, I did." He agreed. "With Esme. Not you."

"What?"

"Bella, I never really thought of having another kid after Edward. But, I do want another one. I always have. If having another kid is what lets me keep you...then I'll have another one. Hell, I'll have three."

"Carlisle,"

"And I know that this is still new." He stopped me. "But, I want you to know...that we have a future together. This isn't just some relationship that goes on forever, but goes nowhere. I'm in this...for as long as you're in it with me."

"I love you so much," I whispered, pressing my forehead to his. "Please, don't forget that."

"I won't if you don't forget that I love you more." He smiled, leaning in and brushing his lips against mine. Before we had time to do anything else, there was a loud knock on the door that reminded both of us that Edward was with us. He dragged us into the living room to watch a movie with him and, as usual, he fell asleep before it was over.

"You'd think he'd be begging to stay up to finish the movie." Carlisle laughed as he picked him up. "But, he falls asleep within an hour."

"You can wake him up to tell him to go to bed." I reminded him. Edward was eleven years old and Carlisle was still carrying him to his bed. It had to be a hazzard on his back.

"I will...some day." He laughed as he rounded the corner into the hallway.

Carlisle and I would be okay. At least for a while longer anyway. I grabbed his hand and lead him into his bedroom. I pushed him down onto the bed, and crawled up on top of him, kissing him slowly. I began grinding up against him, and I could feel him hardening against me. Just as I got him right where I wanted him, I pushed myself up and stood.

"What the..." He asked in a daze as he tried catching his breath.

"I'll be right back." I smirked, holding up the small, pink Victoria's Secret bag and turning the door knob.

"Tease!" He shouted as I closed the door again. I went into the bathroom and changed into the small, sheer pink baby it was on and my hair was fixed up, I took a deep breath and looked in the mirror. For once, I wasn't nervous about being with someone. For once, I wasn't dreading going out and showing him what I'd bought.

I slowly opened the door and walked down the hallway towards his room. But, once I saw Carlisle sitting up, on the phone I grew worried.

"Yes, we'll be right there." He said and hung up. I gave him a concerned look, but he only ran around the room, finding a pair of sweats and a t-shirt.

"Carlisle?"

"It's Esme." He whispered. "I...I gotta go wake Edward."

"No, you go." I told him. "I'll stay here with him."

"He should be there..."

"Being there isn't going to do anything by scare him." I told him. "I'll stay with him and if things get really bad call me, I'll bring him down."

"You're sure?"

"Positive." I smiled, grabbing his neck and making him look at me. "Calm down."

"I can't." He sighed, shaking his head. "The infection that set in was sepsis. She's so sick."

"Just go down and be with her." I urged. He gave me a sad smile and leaned into give me a kiss. He grabbed his keys and turned towards me.

"You look great by the way." He smirked before running out the door.

I waited by my phone for hours before finally falling asleep at the kitchen table. Finally, as the sun began shining through the window, my phone began buzzing. I quick slid it open and pressed the SEND button.

"Hello?" I asked in a rush.

"I need you to bring Edward down here." He cried, and I felt my heartbreak for him. The tone in his voice was enough to tell me what was happening. I got Edward up and dressed and drove him down to the hospital. I let him out at the front door and parked the car. I stayed back until I saw Carlisle walking out of the front door. His face was wet with tears and I could see that he was just broken.

I slowly opened the door and stepped out, carefully walking over to him. He refused to look at me and only scratched the back of his neck. Everything about his posture and how slowly he was moving told me everything. She...was gone.

"Carlisle," I whispered. He was starting to scare me.

"Edward's in there with his uncle and grandfather." He choked out. "You don't have to stay here."

"I'll stay." I told him. "For as long as you need me to."

"Okay," He sighed, finally looking up at me. His eyes were red and puffy and his face was swollen from crying. I reached up and tried to wipe his tears away, but he jerked his head away. "The infection is what caused her death they think."

"Oh,"

"Yeah, it set in and by the time they caught it, it was too late." He explained. He was trying to be brave and macho, and I had no clue why. He'd always been able to talk to me. We stood in the parking lot for a few, silent seconds before his phone began buzzing. "Edward's freaking out. I should go back inside."

"Yeah, go." I smiled. "I'm gonna let you guys alone. I'll meet you back at the apartment."

"Please...please be there." He begged.

"I promise." I smiled, kissing his hand and getting back into the car. I watched to make sure he made it inside okay before driving away. I didn't even know how to feel at this point. I was sad for both of them. Especially Edward. I wasn't sure how a kid was supposed to grow up without a mother. Then there was Carlisle. A man who'd done everything for this woman, a man who truly loved her who got thrown away like an old shirt. It wasn't fair. He still loved her and I knew the feeling was mutual.

I stopped at my dorm to grab some things before heading over to the apartment. I kept myself busy with cleaning and organizing. By the time I got the text from Carlisle saying they'd be home soon, I'd cleaned the entire apartment and organized all the movies and CD's they's accumulated. They walked inside and Edward ran straight to his room, slamming the door behind him. I saw Carlisle jump at the noise, and I tried my best to distract him.

"I ordered a pizza." I whispered, walking towards him but keeping my distance.

"I'm not hungry."

"I still think you should try to eat something." I told him. "It's only a medium."

"Okay," He sighed, grabbing my hand. He finally pulled me into him and hugged me tightly. I felt his tears hitting my shoulder, and I felt his body trembling with fear and pain. I only stroked his back and let him cry it out. It was what he needed. "It wasn't even the cancer that killed her. It was a fucking infection."

"Things happen." I whispered, trying to get him to calm down.

"It shouldn't have though." He cried. "She should be here!" He didn't say anything for the rest of the night. He nibbled at a slice of pizza and went to his room afterwards. I finished my homework and went to check on both of them. Carlisle had fallen asleep and when I went to check on Edward, I didn't see him at first.

"Edward?" I asked through the nearly dark room. I walked inside and went around the bed to see him lying on the floor, gripping his left hand tightly. I saw some blood trickling down onto his carpet and looked up to see multiple holes in the wall. "Edward," I gushed, walking over to him and picking him off the floor. I took his hand and looked at it, and figured he'd broken it.

"Let's get you to a doctor." I told him, trying to get him off the ground.

"No, all they do is kill people." He fought. "They don't help."

"Edward it looked like your hand is broken." I told him. "If you don't get this fixed, you may not play the piano again."

"Fine," He huffed. He got up and I grabbed him a bag of ice. I woke Carlisle up and he reluctantly took Edward downstairs to get into the car. We drove to the nearest hospital and walked inside. I could tell how much they didn't want to be here, but his hand could really be messed up. It wasn't a long wait and we were in a room within a few seconds.

"Knock, knock." A woman's voice said as she opened the door. "I'm Dr. Newton,"

"Hi," Carlisle whispered, not looking at her.

"It says here you think your hand might be broken?" She asked. "What happened?" She asked as she pulled gloves on and began her exam.

"I punched a wall...about twenty times." He huffed, and I could see him wincing in pain.

"Well, that must have hurt." She said, trying to lighten the mood by smiling, but it wasn't working.

"Not really." He huffed as she pushed his hand in a painful direction, causing him to cry out in pain.

"Well, until we get an X-ray I can't tell you for certain, but I do believe your hand is broken." She said. "I'll get an X-ray set up for you."

"Thanks," Carlisle smiled as she walked out of the room. A half hour later, Edward was taken down the hall for the X-ray, which confirmed he had broken his hand, and his thumb while punching the wall. She sent the three of us up to ortho so he could get a cast put on. It wasn't until the orthopetis was wrapping his hand in the gauze that he realized what having a broken hand and thumb meant.

"I play the piano," He told the doctor. "How long until I can play?"

"Well, that depends on how talented you are." He joked. "But, the cast will have to be on for at least four weeks, maybe six. Depending on how bad the break truly is."

"I won't be able to play for at least a month?" He asked.

"As I said, you might be able to play...depending on how talented you are."

"Oh, then I should be able to play tonight." He laughed for the first time all day. "Dad, what am I gonna do?"

"You're going to have to wait it out, son." He sighed. "You're the one who decided to punch the wall twenty times. Oh, and you're going to help me patch and paint all of them."

"Deal." He sighed. He finished getting wrapped up and we were able to go home. Carlisle filled out paperwork while I went down to with him back to the car to sit. By the time we pulled into the parking lot, he'd passed out from the pain meds they'd given to him. Carlisle actually woke him up to walk upstairs and he passed out right away.

"I should make some calls." He sighed after we'd been laying in each other's arms for a few hours. "People need to know. My mother should know."

"Okay, you still want me to stay here tonight?" I asked, sitting up with him.

"Yes." He whispered. "Please don't leave me." He cried, his eyes filling with tears again.

"Never." I promised, gently kissing him.

These next few weeks would be hard, I could already tell. But, he just needed me to be there for him. I'd do anything for him, even if it was just to sit with him while he cried.


	15. Be Patient, Be Kind

**Chapter Fourteen: Be Patient, Be Kind**

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**Carlisle's POV**

"Mr. Cullen?" I heard my name be said, but nothing registered. Esme's father had been doing a lot of the planning for her funeral...he claimed he knew her best and what she'd want, and I didn't deny him. I knew he just wanted to get it over with so he could move on with his life. He grieved over time, and it took almost two years for him to finally fall apart from his wife's passing.

"Yes?" I asked, finally looking up.

"Do you want one of the flower arrangements to say '_WIFE_' on it?" He asked. Did I? She wasn't my wife anymore...legally, but she was at one point. We'd only been divorced for a few months, and even though I loved Bella, I wanted to be married to Esme again. "We have one that says mother, daughter, and friend."

"Yes, I want one of the arrangements to say _WIFE_ on it." I whispered, looking back down at my hands in my lap. It'd been a long ass two days and I just wanted to get back to the apartment. Bella was coming over for the first time since we took Edward to the hospital for his hand, and I missed her. I wanted time with just Edward for a few days, so we could get used to the idea.

He'd been doing well since we said goodbye. After hitting the wall repeatedly, he seemed to begin coping. He hadn't slept in days and he refused to look at the keyboard in his room. I was worried about him, but I didn't want to do or say anything that would set him off completely.

We finished making last minute arrangements and left the funeral home. The three of us, her father and brother and I, headed out seperately and without speaking. It was so weird. Even after the divorce, Tyler and I stayed close. We'd known each other forever and he was one of the first people I asked to be a groomsman in the wedding. I didn't like it. I know Esme was gone, but I didn't want to lose Tyler as well.

I headed home and saw Edward just staring out of his bedroom window from the parking lot. I knew I had to get him help, but I wanted to let him handle this at his own pace right now. I was going to talk to the head of our department and find out who the best person would be to call about getting him help. I got out of the car and walked upstairs.

"Edward?" I called softly as I opened the door. He was still standing at the window, starring. "Hey,"

"Can we get pizza tonight?" He whispered, not looking at me. "I'm hungry."

"You're hungry?" I asked, actually smiling for once. "Then, yeah we can get pizza. Where from?"

"I don't care." He sighed, turning around and walking into his room. I cringed at the door slamming, and ignored it. I couldn't deal with him right now. I had to deal with myself and get through the next few days. I called in for pizza and we both ate in our rooms, pretending like the other wasn't there.

I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready to be a single father, taking care of an eleven year old. I wasn't sure how to take care of him when he was sick, or know when he could stay home. I didn't know what he was allowed to watch on a regular basis. I just didn't know everything Esme had, and although I thought I was a good father, I wasn't...parent material. I was buddy material.

Just as I was cleaning up, there was a light knock on the door. I couldn't help but smile when I saw Bella standing there when I opened the door. She held out a big, brown bag and I let her inside.

"I know you're dealing with stuff," She whispered, putting the bag in the freezer. "But, I couldn't let you two live off of takeout and pizza."

"Today was the first time he's eaten anything." I shrugged. "But, thanks."

"Of course." She sighed. "There are directions on each of the packages for you and they're really simple."

"Okay,"

"I'll see you later then." She smiled, kissing me on the cheek and heading for the door. I reached out and grabbed her wrist tightly, not wanting her to ever walk out the door.

"Don't go." I begged. "Please." She gave me a soft smile and walked towards me, falling into the embrace.

"Never." She agreed, nuzzling her head into my chest. We laid in each other's arms all night and when I finally heard her heavy breathing, I gripped her even tighter. There was no way in hell I was going to let this girl go. Ever. With Bella beside me, I slept better than I had in days, but it still wasn't enough. I was groggy and slow the next morning and Edward and I barely got ready in time.

"Are you sure you don't want me there?" Bella asked as she poured coffee into a portable mug for me.

"I'm sure." I sighed. "I want you there, but I think people would find it very strange a student was there with me."

"What if I brought other students?" She questioned. "They all love you, Carlisle. I'm sure they'd want to come pay their respects."

"If you can get a few other students to come with you, then...sure." I agreed. "I guess that'd be...okay."

"Unless you...don't want me there."

"No, I do." I told her. "Believe me, I need the support."

"Then I'll be there." She smiled, kissing my cheek. She helped Edward get ready and then left us so she could go back to school. I looked at Edward and we both knew it was time to go. As we got in the car, my head began pounding and my stomach clenched. This was it. Nothing was going to change this, so it was time to just...get it over with. I hated saying that, but I just wanted it over so the two of us could begin to heal.

George's and Tyler's car were both already in the lot by the time we pulled in. Edward got out at the pace of a snail, and I didn't blame him. I was dreading this day for my mother, and I was a grown man and she was growing older. I was terrified of my mother's death, and I prayed I would have her longer. But, I couldn't even begin to imagine what Edward was feeling right now.

"You wanna sit out here for a while?" I asked as we stood at the door to the funeral home. He shook his head no, and we opened the big, glass doors and walked inside. Edward hadn't seen his grandfather or Tyler since the day at the hospital, so the two of them attacked him when we walked inside.

A half hour passed and people began filing inside. People who I didn't know from her work, and people who I cried with at the door. Everything was a blur until I saw a group of girls a few people back. I noticed a small, short haired girl who I believed to be Alice standing with a few other younger girls. Bella had followed through and gathered a group of students to join her.

"Hi, Dr. Cullen." Alice whispered as she stared at the ground. "I'm so sorry to hear about your...ex-wife."

"Thank you, Miss Brandon." I smiled as I squeezed her hand.

"We aren't in the classroom...you can call me Alice." She smiled as she let go. The rest of the kids from my classes came up and gave me their sad looks and apologies for my loss and finally, Bella was standing in front of me. I just took her hand like I had the others and gave her a knowing look. I only wanted to give her a hug and cry on her shoulder, but I couldn't. Not here anyway.

"I'm so sorry, Dr. Cullen." She whispered, tears filling her eyes.

"Thank you, Miss Swan."

"You can call me Bella." She smiled. "We aren't on campus anymore."

"I'll try to remember that." I smiled, and saw her looked past me. I turned to see her starring at Edward who had a chair next to the casket. He was just sitting there, his hand holding hers. I hadn't even realized he'd come back inside after sitting in the room the home had for children. "He's taking this so hard."

"I can imagine." She whispered, squeezing my hand. She stayed with me for a few more seconds until it would have been weird for her to stay any longer. I saw her meet up with Alice and they just sat on the couch together while the others stood there awkwardly. Tyler came and took my place at the doorway so I could go back inside and see other people.

I looked over at Edward a while later, after all my students, except for Alice and Bella, said goodbye. Edward was still sitting there, but he was reading this time. I didn't want to push any of his buttons because I didn't know how close to the edge he was. I saw my mother go over and kneel beside him, but she too said nothing to him.

"How's he doing?" I asked her after she'd come to stand with me.

"He's...being Edward." She sighed. "He's sitting quietly and pretending nothing is wrong."

"I'm getting him help." I told her. "I was just going to wait until after the funeral."

"I know, Carlisle." She said, giving me a squeeze. "I know you're getting him the help he's going to need."

The room eventually emptied, and it was just our family there. We decided to go out and eat something, even though no one really ate anything. Edward stayed quiet and just hid his face in my mothers shoulder the entire night and she had to practically feed him his dinner. We headed back for the second viewing and I wasn't sure how much longer I could take this.

Bella showed up again, although this time by herself. I told my mother and Tyler the two of us just had a strong teacher/student relationship, and neither of them questioned. Although, I had a feeling my mother was onto us. The second time around drug on for twice as long and I was so happy when the last person left. Bella excused herself to use the restroom, and my mother pulled me outside.

"Carlisle Joseph, what do you think you're doing?" She demanded as we stood on the stoop on the building.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"With that girl." She whispered. "She looks young enough to be a student." She snapped, and I couldn't lie to her. She was my mother and I couldn't lie to her. I only looked at the ground, and that was an answer in her eyes. "Oh, Carlisle. You didn't."

"What do you want me to say, mom?" I asked. "Yes, she's one of my students. I don't really like that part of it, but it's true. But, we aren't just sleeping together. I love her."

"You love her?" She asked. "She's half your age."

"She's nineteen, not sixteen." I reminded her. "And, yes I do love her. I don't know how, I wasn't planning this. But, I fell for her." I explained. I felt like a teenager who'd just been caught sneaking around with someone. "Yes, I was attracted to her from day one and we did just start out...sleeping together. But it grew into something much more special. To both of us."

"Am I supposed to be happy about this?" She asked, crossing her arms. "Am I supposed to condone this behavior?"

"Mom, I'm thirty-three. Not sixteen." I tried laughing, but she wasn't having any of it.

"Yes, and you're willing to risk everything to be with this girl, Carlisle." She sighed. "Are you ready to lose your job if this gets out?"

"No, but she's worth the risk." I shrugged. "You should understand this more than anyone, mom." I reminded her. Her and my father snuck around and fought so hard to be together. He was from a wealthy, old school family and her parents were laid back. Their families clashed, and they eventually eloped to get it over with.

"It was different." She argued. "We had families who didn't see eye to eye, you're willing to lose everything to be with her."

"Bella is worth the risk, mom." I whispered. Her face seemed to soften when she realized this wasn't just some affair, but a real relationship. "I love her. She loves me and my son."

"She's met Edward?"

"Yes, and he loves her too." I explained. "She's not going to replace Esme for him, but she's going to be there for him as much as he lets her." That seemed to seal the deal for her because she hugged me tightly and when she looked up, her eyes we watery.

"You can come out, my dear." She laughed and I heard someone walking down the stairs. I turned to see Bella, beat red, walking towards us. My mother gave her the stare down, but eventually gave her a big hug. "Carlisle, go." She ordered and I backed out so they could talk.

By the time the second viewing had ended, both Edward and I were drained. I could tell he didn't want to leave Esme there, but he reluctantly let go of her hand and walked out with me. Bella met us at the apartment and Edward headed straight to his bedroom.

"How's he doing?" She asked as I poured us glasses of wine and plopped down on the couch together.

"He just lost his mother." I whispered. "There...is no way to tell. He's bottling everything up...he's quiet. I don't wanna push him."

"Pushing him might be what he needs." She told me and she was right. If he wasn't pushed into dealing with it, he may never deal with it.

"I'm getting him help." I told her. "I just wanna wait until all this is over and the shock has worn off. I think that's what he needs."

"Okay," She smiled, kissing my cheek. We finished our wine and by the time the bottle was empty and Bella only had two glasses, I realized I'd had too much. Bella helped me to my room and laid me down on my bed. I crashed the minute her body was against mine and woke up with a raging headache. It had been so long since I'd have a hangover and I remembered why I hated getting drunk.

Bella helped both of us get ready for the funeral this morning, but nothing she did would ever really prepare us. Edward grabbed his sheet music before heading out into the hallway to go to the car. I asked him if he wanted to say something, and he only pointed to his keyboard. He told me he'd never be able to say anything that would get his feelings out, but the piano would.

There were a lot of people already at the church by the time we drove up. Bella wasn't faar behind, but she stayed in the back round so she wouldn't raise questions of why she was at the actual funeral.

"How're you doing, kid?" My mother asked Edward as we entered the church. He shrugged and went up to where Esme's coffin was, and sat down next to it again even though it was closed today. "How are you doing?"

"I had too much to drink last night." I laughed. "But, a little better. The...the shock is starting to wear off." My mother gave me a warm smile and we went to take our seats. Once everyone was inside, Pastor Roth quieted everyone.

"I would take nothing away from the grief you feel today." He began "I would not say to you that everything is all right. Because it's not and you know it. You hurt. And we know you will hurt for a long time. God made us so that we can have relationships with one another and when that relationship is lost we feel pain. You have lost a loved one - and it hurts."

He continued and with every word he said, I could see more and more tears fall down Edward's cheek. I had no clue what he was thinking, and I had no clue how to comfort him. No one that close to me had ever died, and I did the only thing I could think of. I grabbed his hand and squeezed tightly.

"Esme's son, Edward, has prepared something for us." Pastor Roth said, gesturing to Edward. He froze up and refused to move. I got up and offered him my hand. He smiled up at me and got up and walked onto the small stage.

"I loved my mom very much." Edward choked into the microphone at the piano. "This is for her." He began to play the simple chords at the beginning to the song. "She always told me she could see right through me and told me that she knew me better than anyone else. So, thats why I picked this song, because it's what I always imagined her saying to me."

"You with the sad eyes, don't be discouraged." He sang and I saw everyone in the church grab their tissues. "But I see your true colors shining through. I see your true colors and that's why I love you."

By the time he stopped playing, he was barely choking out the lyrics and I had tears streaming down my cheek. The funeral continued and finally, it was time to go to her burial sight. Edward and I shared a limo with Esme's family to the cemetery and I felt sick to my stomach as we drove through to her resting place. Pastor Roth said a last prayer, and then...her funeral was over.

Esme was truly gone once he said "Amen."


	16. Sets You Free

**Chapter Fifteen: Sets You Free**

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**Bella's POV**

It had been a month since Esme died and things weren't getting back to normal. Edward wasn't the same kid he was, even with the therapy Carlisle was making him go to. I felt terrible being around all the time, I didn't want him to think I was trying to replace Esme. Carlisle told me to give it time, but I was scarred we'd never get back the relationship we had.

I was also seeing less of Carlisle. In order to keep Edward in his school, Carlisle had moved back into his old house. It was an even farther distance away from campus than his apartment was and it made it hard to sleep over. I also didn't want him to feel like I was cramming him. I wanted him to ask for me as he wanted to. I wanted to gradually ease back into things.

"I'm sorry, but I have a meeting with Edward's teacher in the morning." He sighed after class had filed out of the room. "I wish I didn't though."

"Hey, you have to do what you have to do." I whispered, taking his hand in mine and squeezing it. "I understand."

"It's not just because I can't see you tonight." He sighed. "She said in the note Edward was acting up in class. Edward is the quietest eleven year old I'd ever met, especially in school."

"He lost his mom, Carlisle." I shrugged. "He isn't going to be the same kid. You made me study that and write a paper on it...remember?" I asked, trying to ease some of the tension.

"I remember. You got an A...as usual." He laughed. "I just...I thought sending him to therapy early and quickly would help him."

"And it has." I pointed out. "He could be a lot worse."

"I guess." He sighed, scratching his head. "I don't think its anything bad either, just he's talking back and refusing to do some of the work."

"See, nothing major. He could be throwing things...or punching more walls." I laughed. "How is his arm anyway?"

"We have a doctors appointment next week." He told me. "I think he should be getting it off, but it might be two weeks before it comes off and the doctor said a few weeks of physical therapy to strengthen it again."

"I broke my arm three times as a kid and I never went to physical therapy."

"It's more of the bones he broke and where they were." He explained. "Plus, it was his hand, not his arm. And he wants to be able to play again...well...and they said physical therapy will help that."

"I think he's playing fine." I said. "I mean, not many people can play the piano in front of a crowd with a broken arm."

"Yeah, but he's been kicking himself about it since." He sighed. "It wasn't good enough."

"I think he sounded great." I smiled.

Carlisle and I talked for a few more minutes before I had to leave for my next class. I almost felt sick as I walked out of the building. I had a bad feeling things were about to get worse. I just wanted everything to be okay. Not the way they used to be...just okay. I wanted Edward to feel good around me and I wanted him to be able to talk to me. I didn't want Carlisle to think this may actually be a bad idea. I wanted things to...be okay.

"So, how's the boyfriend?" Alice asked as I walked into our dorm room. She had been one of the few students who came to the viewing and funeral with me, the other two were already graduated and were working on their doctorate with Carlisle. I was thankful she gave up a day of classes to go with me.

"He's...better." I sighed. He was. After it happened, he could barely get out of bed in the morning, let alone teach and talk to me afterwards. "It's a work in progress."

"He seems better." She told me. "His teachings are getting back to normal."

"Yeah, thank god." I laughed. "Edward's not doing so great."

"He's a kid."

"I know, and he's doing better than I would be doing...but Carlisle told me he was starting to act up in class."

"That's normal for any kid who goes through something so tragic."

"I know, but...I want him to be okay."

"Is Dr. Cullen getting him help?"

"Yeah, he's going to therapy at least once a week, maybe two." I told her. "And he isn't punching walls anymore or throwing things in class but...he's not the same kid Carlisle introduced me to."

"Honestly, Bella, I don't think he ever will be the same."

"Me either." I reluctantly agreed. I didn't want to think about that, but deep down I knew it was true. He lost his mother. There's a part of him that will never heal or jump back. Jasper and Alice went out together and I stayed back in our dorm. I felt...lonely. Almost like I had lost someone too. I wanted the two of them to be happy, and when they weren't...I wasn't either.

It felt like Carlisle and I had such a strong bond that when he hurt, I hurt. He was okay, I was okay. It was both of us or neither of us. And I so desperately craved the day when he would smile...really smile...again. He had such a beautiful smile that hadn't seen the light in a month. I didn't want this to be what our relationship was either. I only had a few more months in New York, and then it was back to Forks.

We hadn't discussed if this was going to turn into a long distance relationship or not. Would we be allowed to see other people while we were apart or not? Would I come out and visit before the school year started? There were so many things that needed to be answered and I didn't want to ask. Not now. Not while he was going through such a hard time.

I sat in my dorm and sulked for the rest of the night before falling asleep, only to be woken up by my phone going off. I blindly reached on my bedside table to find it, and after a few more rings, I finally did.

"Hello?" I asked groggily, not paying attention until I heard a scream in the back. "Hello?"

"Bella?" Carlisle's voice asked, sounding alarmed and scarred. "Can you come over?" He asked and I looked at the clock. Midnight. I jumped out of bed, trying to find a pair of shoes without waking Alice up.

"Yeah, what's wrong?" I asked, grabbing my purse and running out the door. I turned the corner and ran down the stairs, being sure I didn't fall.

"Edward's having a meltdown and I don't know what to do." He said as I heard glass breaking. He didn't know what to do with his son and he was asking for my help.

"I'll be there soon." I told him, finding my truck and jumping inside. "Stay calm." I said and hung up the phone. I probably broke eight different traffic laws trying to get to the house and when I got there, almost every light was on and the dog was barking uncontrollably. I ran up the walk and rang the doorbell and a very flustered looking Carlisle opened the door.

"Thank god." He cried, falling into my arms and having a little breakdown of his own. I held him for a few seconds before he let up and pulled me into the kitchen where Edward was slouched in the corner, his cast in shreds and a knife by his side. "He isn't trying to kill himself."

"Oh god." I cried as I saw Edward, looking small and helpless. I walked over to him and gently touched his shoulder, making his jump. He pushed me away but I fought him and sat down next to him. I tried grabbing his free hand, but he pulled away and when I tried pulling him in for a hug, he hit me. He continued to hit me until he grew tired and gave in, crying so hard I felt the tears on my arms.

"Why is she gone?" He demanded to know as he cried in my arms. "Why isn't she here with me? Yelling at me for punching a wall? WHY BELLA?"

"I don't know, Edward." I cried, trying to keep it together for both of them. Carlisle was still standing in the doorway, tears streaming down his face.

"Why are you here and she isn't?" He asked and that stung. I didn't think he ever resented me. "Why is she gone? Why?" He just kept asking me that question and I had no answer. I didn't understand how the world could be as cruel as to take a mother away from her young son. It wasn't fair. He finally fell asleep in my lap.

"We need to get him to the hospital." Carlisle whispered as he knelt down beside us. "He still has to where the cast for at least a week and it isn't any help to him like...that." He said, pointing to the destroyed cast. I nodded and Carlisle picked his son up, careful not to wake him up.

"I'll stay here and clean up." I told him when he came back in to get his wallet. I looked around and saw glass everywhere and a lot of their things were turned over. I watched as he pulled out of the driveway and walked back into the house, and suddenly everything was cold and eery. I'd never been alone in this house and it felt wrong. This was Esme's place with them and I shouldn't be here.

But, Carlisle needed someone and I would be there when he got home with Edward. I started by getting the broom and sweeping up the broken glass that was on the floor from the glasses Edward had thrown around. I then began turning everything back up and then cleaned up the rest of the kitchen. But, once I was started I couldn't stop. I tidied up the living room and wash room along with the downstairs bathroom.

By the time they got home an hour and a half later, the place was completely put back together. Carlisle wasn't the neatest person and everywhere he went was a mess. His apartment, office, and now this house. He only smiled at me when he saw what I'd done before pushing Edward upstairs. Another half hour later, he came back downstairs and fell onto the couch.

"How is he?" I asked.

"They gave him a tranquilizer." He sighed. "He'll be asleep for the rest of the night."

"Isn't that a bit extreme?"

"Maybe, but they just wanted him to be able to go back to sleep." He explained. "He had another explosion once we got into the hospital room, yelling at the doctors saying they killed her. It was so bad, Bella. The nurse and doctor just stood there and let him say those things and they looked so guilty. I mean, even though they had no idea who Esme was or how she died, they looked guilty.

"It was like...even though they weren't there they knew exactly how it felt. They were doctors who have nothing to do with cancer or surgery...he's an orthopedic doctor, he's never dealt with surgery like that. The looks on their faces."

"I'm so sorry, Carlisle." I whispered, letting the tears fall. It was at that moment, that I realized this was not the best situation to get involved in. He had his hands full with Edward and his own feelings. I couldn't get in the middle of that. "I should go."

"No," He begged, grabbing my arm and squeezing tight. "Please don't."

"Carlisle, I have to." I cried. This was it. It had to end at some point. "You have to take care of Edward right now. You have to be there for him."

"I can do both."

"No, you have to focus all your attention on him." I cried, shutting my eyes tight. "This is what's best."

"No it isn't, Bella!" He whispered. "This isn't what's best."

"Carlisle, you and Edward...you two have to work everything out. You have so much going on, and you need to focus your attention on everything else. Not me. Not our relationship."

"I can do both. I can focus on both of you, I'll get better."

"No, Carlisle. No." I cried, shaking my head. "This has to be it."

"It doesn't."

"It does." I cried. "Focus on Edward for now. And if we find each other again...then it was meant to be."

"Bella, please." He cried as I stood up. I ignored his plea and broke free of his grip and grabbed my bag and walked out to my truck. I got inside and started the engine and despite my blurry vision, I started driving. This wasn't how I wanted things to end between us. But, he had a son that needed him. I couldn't be selfish and needed to let this go. Whether either of us liked it or not, this was what was best for everyone.

I pulled into my dorms parking lot and just sat in my car for what seemed like days. I saw the first snow flake fall on my window and just started crying. I didn't want this to ever end. I wanted so badly to drive back to the house and tell him I took it all back. But, I couldn't. I had to stay strong for the both of us. I finally gathered the strength to get out of the car and drag myself up to my dorm room.

Alice was still asleep and I just slid under the covers and stared up at the dark ceiling. I would never kiss him again. Hug him. Hear his laugh while we cooked together. I would never hear Edward play another song on the piano. Go to a football game with him. It was over.

* * *

"Are you going to tell me what happened last night?" Alice asked me when I woke up the next morning. She was a light sleeper, I knew I'd woken her up.

"No." I said, rubbing my eyes. They burned from dryness since I'd cried so much last night. "It isn't my place to tell."

"Maybe not why you left," She agreed. "But, why did you come back crying?"

"It was a rough night." I shrugged, getting out of bed and grabbing my toothbrush, but Alice grabbed my arm so I couldn't go anywhere.

"Bella, I'm your best friend." She reminded me. "Tell me what happened."

"We broke up."

"He broke up with you?" She asked, looking sad and angry.

"No, I broke up with him." I told her and I saw her heart break for me. "It was time."

"Did he do something to you?"

"No, he needs to focus on his son, Alice." I told her truthfully. "He lost someone very close to him."

"And now he's lost two people he cared about." She kindly reminded me. "Bella,"

"I don't want a lecture right now, Alice." I huffed. "I just wanna get ready for class and go." I told her and she let go of me. I got ready for class, although it didn't take much. I didn't care what I looked like at this point. The worst part about this was, there was no avoiding him. I had class with him every week and until school was over, I wouldn't get out of seeing him.

I trudged in the cold, winter air to the other side of campus with Alice to get breakfast, and my stomach dropped when I saw him at the table we usually sat at. I looked at him and saw the sad smile he had on his face before turning away.

"Let's find another table." I whispered to Alice as I walked in the other direction.

"Bella!" I heard her call as I rounded a corner. I may have to see him for class, but that would be all I would see him for. Looking at him made me want to cry...and I didn't want that feeling all the time. I found a table alone in the corner and sat down. I suddenly wasn't hungry anymore and pushed my tray away.

"Are you alright, Bella?" I heard a familiar voice ask and I looked up to see Jacob standing in front of me.

"I'm okay, Jake. Thank you." I lied. I was going through hell.

"You aren't a very good liar." He laughed. "Mind if I join you? I like the back of the hall."

"Go ahead." I smiled a phoney smile. I was breaking inside and I just wanted to go away.

"Can I guess...boy troubles?" He asked. I knew he was just trying to make me feel better, but I didn't want this right now.

"How'd you guess?" I asked, playing around. Who knew, maybe he'd make me feel better.

"Just...the way you're acting today compared to yesterday." He told me and I only starred at him in confusion. "I'm an observer. I notice people's body language, smile, the way they talk. You were happy yesterday...or at least happier than you are right now."

"Why does that mean boy troubles?"

"It doesn't, it was only a guess." He smiled at me. Jake and I ended up talking until we both had to leave for class. He actually made me feel better about my life while we were together and once he left and I met up with Alice again, I was sad again. I didn't want to feel like this. But, it was selfish of me to stay with him. But I missed him already and it didn't help walking past his building and seeing him talking with Maddie.

"Don't torture yourself, Bella." Alice reminded me as she pulled me away. "You ended it."

"Yeah that doesn't mean I don't love him anymore." I sighed. "I want to be with him...forever maybe. But, this is what's best."

"Why is it the best thing?" She asked. "You're both miserable."

"Because, it would be selfish to stay with him." I whispered. "Edward needs him right now. I can't be taking up his time, Alice. And if we find each other later...then it was meant to be. If not then...oh well."

"No, not oh well." She spat. "You two are pretty epic. You should be together."

"If it's meant to be, we will be." I shrugged as we walked our seperate ways. Classed was terrible that day. I couldn't concentrate on anything but Carlisle. I kept telling myself that it was best. But, the more I said it, the more of a lie it sounded like. By the time I got out of my last class, I was about to go against everything I'd justified last night and go to him.

I was standing at his door, ready to knock when I heard her voice.

"Oh, Carlisle." She giggled in a very flirty way. My breathing became heavy as I fought off tears.

"Maddie," He said back to her and I couldn't hear anything else. It hadn't even been twenty-four hours and he was with the tramp professor. I turned and bolted for the door, but before I could leave in, I ran into Professor McCarty, nearly knocking me over.

"Whoa there." He laughed as he helped me catch my balance. "Hey, you okay?" He asked, his smile gone.

"Fine, thanks." I lied and ran out the door.

This was not what was supposed to happen.


	17. Long, Long Time Ago

**Chapter Sixteen: Long, Long Time Ago**

* * *

**Carlisle's POV**

"Bella, please!" I begged as she freed herself from my grip and ran out of the house. I chased after her, but by the time I got to the door, her truck was halfway up the driveway and I wouldn't be able to reach her. I stood there at the door, in complete shock. I knew things had been rough the past month, but I never thought she'd end things because of it.

She was right, I needed to focus on Edward. But, she was wrong in saying I couldn't focus on both of them. I needed her in my life, and in time, Edward would need her too. She was the closet thing Edward had to a mother and she was gone too. He told me he missed her, but he just wasn't ready to let her back into his life yet. We both respected that, but how was I supposed to tell him she had broken things off between us.

After I was shivering from the cold air, I closed the door and just stood in the foyer for a few minutes. I eventually set the couch up for bed and lied down, even though I didn't sleep at all. I couldn't get her out of my head. I couldn't get the scene from last night to stop playing in my head. I just wanted her back. We both needed time to cool off, and then we'd talk. We just needed to talk.

I finally fell asleep, but my alarm went off in what seemed like minutes after. I got ready, trying not to think about her but it was impossible. My mother was coming up to stay with Edward for the day...he didn't need to go to school today.

"Dad?" I heard him ask as I tightened my tie.

"Yeah?" I asked, turning towards him. He looked painfully sad and my heart broke just looking at him. "What's wrong, Edward?"

"Did you and Bella break up?" He asked and I just starred at him stunned. I thought he was out cold.

"I thought you were asleep?" I asked.

"I was, but you just look really upset and out of it."

"Oh." I sighed. I couldn't lie to him. "Yeah, we're...we're taking a break."

"But you aren't together now, are you?"

"No." I shook my head and his eyes filled with sadness. "Not right now."

"This is my fault." He cried. "If I would have just let her back in and not flipped out...this wouldn't have happened." He was blaming himself for what happened and I didn't know what to do. It wasn't his fault at all.

"Edward Anthony, this is not your fault." I assured him, walking over to him and kneeling in front of him. "Bella and I have some things we need to figure out but us taking a break has nothing to do with you. She just felt that I needed to focus on you right now."

"So it is my fault."

"No. We're going to figure things out, okay?" I asked and he only walked away from me and back into his room. The doorbell rang before I could go and talk to him some more and I went to answer the door for my mother. She gave me a knowing hug...she knew what was happening without me saying anything... before going into the kitchen.

"Is he eating?" She asked, looking through the cabinets.

"More and more everyday." I told her, sitting at the island. "Mom?"

"Yes, Carlisle?" She asked, not looking me in the eye.

"She ended it." I cried, shedding the first tear since she left. "She told me I needed to focus all my attention on Edward and ended it."

"I know, sweetie." She said, coming over and hugging me tightly. I hadn't felt this heartbroken since my divorce with Esme and hadn't cried on my mother's shoulder since I was twelve and my first 'girlfriend' moved away. She just sat there and comforted me, not saying a word. She knew me better than anyone and knew I just needed to let it out without saying anything.

I eventually pulled myself together and made it out of the house and made my way to campus. I had some time to kill before my first class and I had to at least try to talk to her. I walked towards the dining hall her and Alice usually ate at and sat at the table they normally sat at, hoping...praying I'd see her. I sighed in relief when I saw them both walking inside and gave her a sad smile.

"Lets find another table." She whispered when she saw me and turned around and bolted around the corner before I could say anything.

"Bella!" Alice called after her before turning back to me. "Give her time. She'll come around."

"What if she doesn't?" I asked sadly.

"You're epic together." She shrugged. "And there's a reason you're an epic love. You'll find your way back to each other." She smiled at me before turning to find Bella. Without any reason for me to be there, I decided to go to my office and try to get some grading done. As I was walking up the steps to the building, I heard the same voice I didn't need right now.

"Carlisle!" Maddie called as she chased me up the stairs.

"What is it Maddie?" I asked. She'd been gone for a month, helping her brother take care of their mother.

"I'm so sorry to hear about Esme." She whispered. No one had told her about everything that had happened and I was surprised at her. She'd always hated Esme and I thought she'd be throwing a party on her grave right now. "That's really awful."

"Thanks, Maddie." I sighed, giving her a sad smile. "How's your mother?"

"Better, but not great." She told me as I saw Bella standing in front of the building, looking hurt and about to cry. Before I could do anything, she turned and ran away. "They don't think she's going to make it for much longer."

"I'm sorry to hear about that." I told her honestly. I checked my watch and realized it was time to stop talking or I'd be late for my class. "I'm sorry, Maddie. I have to go." I told her as I stepped around her and made my way up the rest of the stairs. I made it through most of the mourning without wanting to breakdown and cry. It had almost been a perfect morning until Maddie walked through the door.

"So, you and the girl broke up?" She asked, sitting down in one of the chairs.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, trying to play it off cooly.

"The girl you've been seeing." She laughed. "The one that's kept me at arms length."

"Maddie, I kept you at arms length because I don't want to have anything to do with you...not that way anyway."

"Oh, Carlisle." She laughed her usual flirty laugh as she stood and walked closer to me. She perched herself on my desk and began stroking my arm gently, sending goosebumps up my body.

"Maddie," I sighed, pushing her away. "I don't know what else I can do."

"About what?"

"You!" I yelled. "I don't like you in that way, Maddie! And the more you push for me, the further you push me away! Stop trying and leave me alone!" I saw her eyes well up with tears as she turned to run out of my office. I didn't even get a minute to breathe before Emmett came into my office and nearly slammed my door shut.

"What the heck?" I asked as I took an _Asprin_ out of the top drawer of my desk along with a bottle a water. It had been a rough morning and it was only going to get worse.

"What did you do?" He demanded to know and for once, Emmett and I weren't on the same page.

"What are you talking about?" I asked after I swallowed the small pill.

"To Bella!" He snapped. "What did you do to Bella?"

"I didn't do anything!" I told him, snapping myself. "_She_ broke it off with _me_."

"Okay, what did you do with Maddie, huh?" He asked and I only starred at him with a blank expression. "Bella wasn't walking out of here crying for no reason."

"She heard, didn't she?" I asked, slumping even further into my chair. She had the worse timing of anyone I'd ever met. "Nothing happened with Maddie. _You_ of all people should know nothing will ever happen with Maddie and I."

"Yeah, I guess." He sighed, giving me an apologetic look. "So, what happened?"

"She thinks I need to focus all my attention on Edward." I told him. "In some respects, she's right. Edward needs me right now and I shouldn't have any distractions. But then...Bella was the only thing keeping me together through all of this. Things were tough and they weren't the same as they had been, but I thought we were on the same page. I...I need her, Emmett."

"I think you should give it time." He shrugged. "She didn't look like she was ready for things to be over."

"She ended it."

"Because she thought it was what was best." He reminded me. "Not because she wanted to."

"She _did_ say if we were meant to be together than we would be." I remembered from the previous night. "You think she needs time?"

"More than anything right now."

* * *

It had been one of the most miserable weeks of my life. It was almost as bad as when I found Esme in bed with another man. I spent most of my time at school until it was time to go home and be with Edward. We weren't talking much these days and I didn't know what to do. First he wasn't talking because he was devestated over Esme, and now it was because Bella was gone. I couldn't seem to win when it came to him and I didn't know what to do.

My mother was staying with us for the time being. She was the one who was really taking care of Edward since he was refusing to look at me let alone let me take care of him. She made dinner, got him ready for bed, and she was the one he asked to be there when he had his doctors appointment for his arm. It hurt. Edward and I had always been close and I hated not speaking.

"So, how's the arm?" I asked him when him and my mother got home that evening. He gave me a dirty look before running upstairs to his room.

"He has to wear the cast for another week." She sighed. "He's going to be fine though, they just want to be sure it's healed properly."

"Okay. And physical therapy?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"They're going to see once the cast is off." She explained. She started making dinner for us and I retreated to my office with my favorite bottle of Jack Daniels bourbon and slumped in my chair. I hadn't used this office since moving out, but it was suddenly becoming a great place to drink. It made me feel like a terrible parent, but I was on the edge all the time. I'd lost Bella and now it felt as if I'd lost my own son.

I knew drinking didn't really do anything. It numbed the pain and made me forget which is what I needed. But, the feeling was only temporary and the memories came back within a few hours. I hated this. I didn't even do this when Esme and I were separated. But now, it felt as if I'd lost everything close to me. Esme was dead. Edward wasn't speaking to me. And I didn't even have Bella anymore to cheer me up.

"Carlisle?" My mother asked as she opened the door. I quick shoved the half empty bottle in my desk, but left the glass sitting on my desk. "Wow, I haven't been in here for quite some time."

"Me either." I said, looking down at the glass full of brown liquid.

"What are you drinking?" She asked, coming over and snatching the glass out of my hand and smelling it. "Jack Daniel's." She sighed, putting it down. I knew she was disappointed in me. I was starting to solve my problems with alcohol, something I promised her I'd never do.

"It's good, mom." I shrugged. "Wanna glass?"

"No, thank you though." She snapped. "Look, Carlisle, I know you're dealing with a lot right now. But if you don't pour the rest of that crap down the drain and try to get things back to normal so help me got I will hit you so hard on your head you won't even remember what your own name is. Got it?" She nearly yelled and I almost laughed. She'd threatened me with that so many times as a kid it didn't have any affect on me anymore.

"Yes, ma'am." I sighed, grabbing the bottle out of my desk and walked to the bathroom with my mother behind me. I dumped the remaining liquid in the sink and watched it as it went down the drain. My mother turned the water on to get rid of the remaining lining in the sink and turned to go back to the kitchen.

My mother was right. I had to at least try to make amends with Edward or our relationship would have some serious damage. I took a deep breath as I knocked on his door and barely got a 'come in' from him.

"What?" He huffed when he saw me standing at the doorway.

"We need to talk." I said as I sat down on the bed next to him.

"About what?"

"A lot of things." I sighed. "Edward, why won't you talk to me?"

"You'll go away if I'm close to you." He cried. "Everyone that I care about seems to be disappearing. If I don't care...or show that I care then you won't go anywhere."

"You're afraid I'm going to leave you?" I asked, my heart breaking. I'd been so selfish with Bella leaving me, I never really thought about what it was doing to Edward.

"Mom died." He sighed. "Bella broke up with you. I...I don't wanna lose you dad."

"Edward you won't." I cried, bringing him into me and hugging him tightly. "Never." I cried as he cried into my chest. I stayed with Edward until he fell asleep that night and went straight into my office. I opened up the bottom drawer I kept all my booze in and emptied them all out into the sink. I needed to be a better dad to Edward right now and drinking wouldn't help that.

"Proud of you." My mother whispered as I walked into the living room and sat down next to her.

"Edward needs me." I shrugged. "I have to be there for him in every way."

* * *

A month had passed since Bella ended things and I wasn't getting any better. My relationship with Edward was, but I wasn't. I was as miserable as ever and I felt as alone as I ever had. When Esme and I ended things, I had Emmett. When Esme died, I had Bella. And now, I felt like I had no one to help me get through this.

The only thing that kept me going was Edward. He was happier now than he had been in months and I was thankful he was getting back on track. He was playing happier songs on the piano and was telling me his dumb, eleven year old jokes. He didn't constantly ask me about Bella and I was sure he was getting over it quicker than I was at this point.

"What do you wanna do for your birthday?" Emmett asked me Monday morning. The end of March was getting closer and that meant my wonderful birthday was coming sooner than I wanted it to.

"Nothing." I sighed as we walked into the dining hall for coffee. I think I'm just going to have dinner with Edward or something."

"Carlisle, you've been moping around for a month." he pointed out. "At least have fun on your birthday."

"Who am I supposed to have fun with, Emmett?" I asked. "I don't have anyone anymore."

"You could have fun with me?" He asked. "Look, I know you're upset about Bella but...you can't let her dictate your life."

"I'm not."

"Yes you are." He said. "You've been so miserable lately and you aren't even trying to get over her."

"I really don't want to."

"Are you going to pine for her forever?"

"Emmett, she was the only real good thing in my life." I spat. "I know I have you and Edward and my mother...but Bella made everything better. She knew me better than I know myself and now she's gone!"

"But you'd only been dating for a short time."

"Yeah, and I felt more for her in that short time than I did the entire time I was married to Esme, Emmett." I told him. "I love her, Emmett. More than anything and now she's just gone."

"Then quit wining for her and go out and win her back." He said, hitting my arm. "You and Edward are doing better lately and she told you that you needed to focus on him. Now, you've focused on him now you need to get her back. Stop being a pussy and go do something for yourself instead of waiting her her to come to you."

"She doesn't want me, Emmett."

"She does though." He sighed. "She's miserable too. I've seen her with Alice and she looks just as bad as you do."

"Really?"

"Yes. Now pick up the damn phone and call her." He demanded before leaving me and my phone alone. I called her multiple times before I had to leave and go to class. The class she was in. She sat in the way back like she'd been doing ever since the break up and she ignored me when I tried getting her after class. She was doing a good job of ignoring me, but I wasn't going to give up.

I did the most dangerous thing a professor could do and made my way to her building. I sat on the bench across from the front door and waited for her or Alice to appear. Thankfully, it was Alice and not her. She'd still be able to run away from me.

"Dr. Cullen what are you doing here?" Alice asked as I approached her. "You both could get into a lot of trouble."

"I miss her, Miss Brandon." I whispered. "Please let me inside so I can talk to her...and so she can't run away from me."

"She's still in a class." She told me as she opened the door. "But you can wait in our dorm."

"Thanks." I smiled as I followed her inside. Thankfully, most students were out on campus and no one saw me go inside their dorm room. Alice gathered her things and told me to sit tight before leaving for another class. I sat on Bella's bed and waited for her. I knew this would get me fired and possibly get her kicked out of school, but I needed to talk to her.

After an hour, I heard footsteps in the hall and finally the door opened.

"Hi," I whispered when she walked into the room and saw me sitting there. "We need to talk."


	18. By My Side

**Chapter Seventeen: By My Side**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

It had been a long month. Without Carlisle, I had no one to talk to. No one to go see. No one to spend my time with. I loved Alice, but she had Jasper and I wasn't going to make her hang out with me while I moped about Carlisle. I know I was the one who ended things, but I still missed him. A lot. I hated the class I had with him now and it was even harder to pay attention.

It also didn't help that he wouldn't give up. He was always calling me and wanting me to stay after class. I was never going to get over him if he wouldn't leave me alone. It was impossible not to think about him without his constant badgering. And now, I even had Alice hounding me to give it another try. But, I had to be strong. This was what was best for everyone involved.

"I still think you need to forget this 'break up' and answer him when he calls." Alice said as we ate lunch after his class. "He's not going to just get over you, Bella."

"I'm not over him, Alice." I defended. "I just need him to try to get over me."

"You said if you two found each other then it was meant to be."

"Yeah, found each other in a few years after we've been apart and I'm graduated and living on my own." I sighed. "Not a month after breaking up."

"I still think it was a mistake." She whispered. "You're miserable and so is he. You can just tell my his lectures."

"I know, but I have to stand my ground." I told her. "He needs to focus on Edward and I can't get in the way."

"I think there's a completely different reason and you're lying to everyone about why you broke it off." She sighed, standing up. "Including yourself."

"Alice," I started arguing but she didn't wanna hear it.

"I'm going back to the dorm, I forgot a book." She sighed. "I'll meet you for dinner tonight."

"Okay," I agreed as she set out of the dining hall. I finished my lunch before meeting Jake in front of the building to go to our class. Over the past month, Jake and I had grown a lot closer and I wasn't quite sure how or why. I figured I was trying to fill the hole in my life with someone else and Jacob was a good filler. He listened to me, studied with me and was just a good guy in general.

Although I was having a good time with Jacob, there was no spark between us. I wasn't looking for anything, but in time I would be. When we started hanging out more, I think I was trying to find that spark, but it didn't happen and it made me feel terrible. I could tell his feelings for me were growing more intense, and I was firmly in the _FRIEND ZONE_ and I wouldn't be leaving anytime soon.

Class dragged on forever and I was grateful when Professor Davis let us go early. Jacob walked me to my dorm as usual and we made plans for the next day to get some work done together. Just as we'd been doing for the past three weeks. I made my way up the stairs to my dorm and fumbled to get the key in the lock. Once it was open, I couldn't believe who was sitting on my bed and I wanted to scream at the sight of him.

"Hi," He whispered when he saw me walk in. "We need to talk."

"About what?" I asked emotionless as I put my things down on my desk.

"Us." He sighed, standing up and walking closer to me.

"There is no us." I huffed, turning around towards him. "You're going to get us both kicked off of campus if someone catches you in here."

"It was just as much of a risk to be having sex in my office, Bella." He spat. "So don't try to use that to get me to leave."

"Carlisle,"

"No, I get to talk now." He told me. "You've been ignoring me."

"We broke up."

"No, _you_ broke up with _me_." He sighed. "There was no _we_ in that break up, Bella."

"It doesn't matter." I told him. "We're over."

"No, I'm not going to believe that." He sighed. "You're lying to yourself, Bella. About why you broke up with me. You knew I that I needed you...and you still ended things."

"You needed to focus on Edward."

"No what I needed was some support from my girlfriend!" He nearly yelled. "But you walked out with some lame excuse of me needing to focus on Edward."

"You do!"

"Bella, I've never not focused on Edward!" He sighed. "Every moment we were together I was focused on my son. Us being together didn't cloud my vision when it came to Edward."

"I was scarred!" I finally admitted. To him and myself.

"Of what?" He asked.

"Us!" I finally answered honestly. "I was scarred of us." I whispered, sitting down on my bed.

"Why?" He asked gently as he pulled my desk chair in front of me and sat down, grabbing my hand. I tried jerking it away, but he only held on tighter.

"Because...I'm not ready." I shook my head. "I'm not ready for..."

"For what, Bella?"

"For Edward." I cried. "For being a mother. We were getting really serious really fast and that was fine until Edward got involved. And, I love him so much...but I'm only eight years older than him, Carlisle. I...I can't be a mother to him."

"Neither of us were asking you to be his mother." He whispered. "Bella, he loves you so much. But, as a best friend. Not a mother. He doesn't want a mother right now...he wants... he _needs_ a friend."

"It's not just that." I cried. "I don't know what I want yet, Carlisle. I'm only nineteen. And I know you loved being married and loved being a father to a young child."

"So?"

"So I know you want that again." I sighed. "I can see it in your eyes when you and Emmett talked about his baby girl. You want that again and I don't know if I'm ready. I don't know if I'll ever be ready. I know I want that. Marriage. Kids. But, who knows when I'll be ready for that."

"I'm not some fifty-some year old man." He laughed. "I can wait."

"Still."

"Bella, before Esme died, I hadn't even been divorced for an entire year." He reminded me. "I'm not ready yet either for that. But, you're right...I loved being married and I loved taking care of Edward when he was little and I want that again. But, not now. Maybe not even with you. All I know it right now...I want to be with you, Bella."

"Carlisle,"

"Let me finish." He laughed. "I don't want to think about ten years form now. Five years. A year. I just wanna know that you'll be there tomorrow. After all this with Esme, the divorce and her being sick...it showed me that I have to live for now. Not the future. It's cheesy, I know that but I have to live for myself and I can't worry about the 'what ifs' I wanna be with you, Bella."

"It's still scary."

"It always will be." He whispered, kissing my hand. "But, you can't live in fear, Bella." He told me gently as I looked into his beautiful, blue eyes. I'd almost forgotten how gorgeous they were and I realized how much I missed him and even more...how I much I loved him. He was right. We had to live for now and not worry about what could happen.

"I'm so sorry." I cried as I brought his lips to mine. We both stood up and I wrapped my hands tightly around his neck as his tightened around my waist. We kissed for the lost time and for the promises we were making. I wasn't sure when I'd be ready, but I did want him to be there when I was. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," He told me as he pressed his forehead to mine. "I understand, but I'm so happy we worked this out."

"Me too" I smiled. "This last month has been torture."

"For you and me both." He laughed as we laid down on the bed together. "And Edward."

"Really?" I asked.

"I think he might've been even more miserable than me." He laughed, kissing the top of my head. "He felt like he lost his best friend."

"I'll talk to him."

"Yes, tomorrow when you come over for dinner." He demanded. "Take out just isn't as good."

"Oh, so I have to cook?" I laughed.

"Isn't that just a given?" He laughed. "But, we're moving back into the apartment."

"What about school?"

"Edward said he wanted to move schools." He shrugged. "He told me there were too many memories that made him not want to go there. He said he needs a fresh start after everything."

"When does he start?" I asked.

"Next week." He sighed. The two of us laid their together for what seemed like forever. It was so perfect just feeling his chest underneath my head, hear his breathing, having him kiss my head again. I never knew how much I could miss someone until he was gone for an entire month.

"You hungry?" I asked. "You're stuck in here for a while."

"I'm stuck here?"

"Yeah, most of them are back and are going to be wandering in the hallway. You have to stay here until most of them will be in their rooms." I sighed as I stood up and slipped on my shoes. "Do you want school food or take out?"

"Take out please!" He groaned. "Emmett has been insisting on going to the dining hall for lunch like everyday." I laughed as I grabbed my bag and walked down to my car. I just picked us up from pizza from the best place close to campus and headed back. When I reached my door, I head an agonizing scream coming from the other side.

"What the?" I asked as I put my key in the hole and swung the door open. To my horror, Jasper was standing over Carlisle with a baseball bat in his hand, beating Carlisle. "Jasper! Jasper stop!" I called rushing over and standing in between him and Carlisle.

"Bella, this creep was in your dorm room!" He shouted, trying to push past me. "Lying in your bed!"

"He's not some creep!" I argued, going over and kneeling beside Carlisle. He was bleeding pretty badly and I could see bruises starting to form and his nose looked broken. "He's my boyfriend!"

"Your...your boyfriend?" He asked, looking really confused. "He looks like a professor?"

"He is." I told him. There was no use in trying to hide if anymore. "How'd you get in here anyway?"

"Alice was waiting for our food to be ready and she gave me her key to go ahead and go back to your dorm." He shrugged. "But the better question is what the fuck are you doing with a professor Bella?"

"Jasper shut up!" I yelled, helping Carlisle off the floor. I walked over to our mini fridge and grabbed him a bottle of Sprite to put on his nose. "But yes. I'm with a professor, but lets not make this a huge deal. Okay?"

"But..."

"Don't question it." I told him. "Just keep your mouth shut, okay?" I told him and his face softened as he nodded his head in agreement.

"I think it may be broken." Jasper suggested as I looked at Carlisle's nose. "Sorry."

"Where the hell did you get a baseball bat anyway, Jasper?"

"Alice hides it under her bed...just in case." He shrugged. "I'm really sorry...I thought you really were some creep."

"Hey, don't worry about it." Carlisle tried to laugh, but I could see him flinch with pain. "How much longer you think?"

"It's still early." I sighed. "But, you might be able to climb down the fire escape." I sighed as I looked down. We were only on the third floor and he'd be able to go down pretty quickly.

"Are you sure?"

"We aren't that high up so it shouldn't take long to get down to the bottom." I told him. "Just go and I'll drive you to the hospital."

"Okay," He reluctantly agreed as he put his coat on. He gave me a kiss on the cheek before opening the window and crawling out of it. I watched as he got down to the bottom before glarring at Jasper. I know he meant well, but he could have really hurt us...and Carlisle for that matter.

"I said I was sorry." He whispered as I grabbed my keys. I flew down the stairs and met Carlisle by my truck in the deserted parking lot. The drive to the hospital didn't take long and he was in and out with in an hour and a half. It was a broken nose and he had to wear a bandage over it for about a month and wait until he got the okay to do anything physical.

"What are you going to say if people ask?" I asked as we sat in a diner away from campus. "A broken nose isn't that common for someone who isn't playing sports?"

"I'll say Edward and I were westling and he kneed me in the nose." He shrugged. "Believe me, Edward and I have wrestled a lot and one of us always goes too far." He laughed. "Edward broke one of my ribs before."

"What?" I asked, trying not to choke on my coffee.

"Yeah, he was nine and we were wrestling on the ground and he got up and body slammed me really hard and ended up breaking a rib. He didn't look at me for a week after that."

"Wow," I laughed.

We were back. Carlisle and I were back together and acting as if we hadn't lost an entire month together. Life was good again.

* * *

My hands tightened around the steering wheel as I felt the butterflies in my stomach. I was seeing Edward for the first time in a month and last time I saw him, things didn't end so great. It was the first time since Esme died that he was asking to see me and Carlisle told me he was jumping in excitement. I wasn't even sure if I was this nervous when I met him for the first time.

I pulled into the lot after stopping at the store and unloaded my trunk. I took a deep breath before pressing the button to be buzzed in. The door unlocked and I made my way up the familiar hall and up the stair case and found myself standing in front of the door. I took a deep breath before knocking and was surprised to here a dog barking.

"Hey," Carlisle smiled, leaning into brush my lips with his. "Come on in. Edward's in the shower."

"The dog?" I asked as I put the things down on the counter.

"I talked to the super," He shrugged. "He said he can stay here as long as it isn't permanant."

"What are you going to do when he tells you to get rid of him?"

"He's going to stay with my mom until Edward and I find a bigger apartment that lets pets in." He told me. "We're looking for a place that fits the real piano and not just his keyboard. And, we can't be away from Miles for too long."

I started making dinner and when I heard the shower go off, my knees nearly buckled. It had been a rough few months for him and I wasn't sure if this was actually be a good idea. I kept focused on not burning anything as we waited for him to come out. I heard his door open and felt Carlisle tap my side.

"Relax." He laughed, handing me a glass of wine. I took a big sip and set the glass back on the counter before turning back to the carrots I was chopping for the salad.

"Hey, Bells." Edward said very chirpy as he came into the kitchen. He hoisted himself up onto the counter near where I was working and just watched me. "What are you making?"

"Fettuccine Alfredo." I laughed as he stole one of the cucumbers and started gnawing at it. I realized then that I had nothing to worry about. Edward had finally begun to heal and it showed. He wasn't the same kid, but he was getting there. He was laughing, joking like always as I made dinner and Carlisle just sat back and watched. I looked over my shoulder at him and he raised his eye brow at me.

Once dinner was finished, the three of us sat down at the table like normal and just ate. It didn't feel like a family dinner or forced in anyway. It was just a dinner with my two favorite guys. When we finished up, Edward helped with the dishes and ran into the living room to pick out a movie.

"Told ya." Carlisle whispered in my ear as he poured the popcorn into a bowel. Edward had chosen Die Hard as the movie to watch, claiming it was his and Carlisle's favorite. I agreed and sat back and watched how into it both of them.

"Okay, funs over." Carlisle said once the credits were rolling. "You have school in the morning, go get ready."

"Fine," He sighed.

"He's still going to school?" I asked since he'd told me he wasn't changing until next week.

"He has to because of the thing called the law." He laughed. "It's only for a few more days. But, this means we have all night to ourselves." He said with a wink.

"Yes it does." I said, understanding where he was going with this. He said goodnight to Edward and we watched TV until we knew he was asleep. Carlisle took my hand and pulled me into his room, gently shutting the door behind him. He walked over to me and gently grabbed my hips, pulling me into him.

"I've missed this." He whispered, touching his forehead to mine. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." I smiled, gently kissing him. Soon, the kiss grew urgent and he led us to the bed. He laid down and brought me down on him and I slowly began grinding against him, earning a moan from his mouth. Everything else aside, I missed being with him and couldn't wait for very long.

He rolled us over so he was on top and smiled down at me before kissing me again, more passionately this time. I loved how he could be so forceful and heated, yet still be gentle with me. He really was perfect. He was slowly moving his hips against me and I could feel myself growing wetter with every movement. He reached down and tugged at the hem of my shirt and I lifted my arms.

He slowly slid the shirt up, and it looked as if he was taking everything in. He reached around and unclasped my bra and paid special attention to my breasts that night.

"Shit," I moaned as I grabbed a fistful of his hair while he sucked on my nipple until I felt like I'd explode. I reached down and slipped his shirt over his head and it met mine on the floor. Soon, we were both naked and he pressed all of his weight onto me.

"I love you," He whispered as he entered me. It was hard not tp scream in pleasure as he thrust in and out, but I managed to stay controlled. It had been too long and we both came sooner than expected, but neither of us were complaining.

"I love you," I whispered as we laid in each other's arm. We fell asleep like that and I slept better than I had in a month.


	19. Talk About Flying

**Chapter Eighteen: Talk About Flying**

* * *

**Carlisle's POV**

"So, how did you actually break your nose?" Emmett asked as I played with a now four month old Ariana.

"Edward and I were wrestling." I shrugged. I hadn't told him Bella and I were back together because I knew he wouldn't be too happy about it. After he realized Bella wasn't going anywhere, he backed off but I knew he still didn't exactly approve of us dating. He was worried about me if we get caught. He was only trying to look out for me.

"Yes you told me that this morning." He laughed. "Carlisle, tell me the truth."

"Okay," I sighed. "Bella and I are back together. And the other day, I went to her dorm to talk to her because she kept ignoring me and she left to go get take out and another student...her roommates boyfriend walked inside and saw me and thought I was some pervert and started beating me up with a baseball bat."

"Wow," He sighed. "You and Bella are together again?"

"Yes," I shrugged. "I know you don't think it's a good idea, but I can't help it, Emmett. I love her."

"You've only known her for seven months." He pointed out. "You told me it took almost a year to tell Esme you loved her."

"Bella isn't Esme." I shrugged. "I don't know, Emmett I just fell for her. I can't explain why or how...all I know is that I did."

"But,"

"Would you quit badgering him?" Rosalie asked as she came into the living room with us. Her facial expression told me something was wrong and that it was time for me to get going. I finished playing with Ariana before Rosalie took her to get a bath and then said goodbye so they could have their alone time. I headed home and my mother was there waiting for me.

"What's up?" I asked, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Edward called and said the super told him it was time for the dog to go." She sighed. "I got him everything he needs. He'll be fine."

"Good," I laughed as I kneeled in front of Miles and played with him before my mother pulled him out of the room and down to the car. "Is Bella here?"

"In your room." He pointed as he sat back down on the couch, turning the volume of the TV up. I walked back to my room and found Bella with books and notebooks sprawled across the bed. I loved watching her do homework or study. She was always so concentrated and it took a lot to get her out of that. Not even jibes to the side could break her concentration sometimes.

"Watcha studying?" I asked, closing the book and sitting in front of her. She looked up and smiled before puckering her lips, asking for a kiss. I laughed before leaning over and brushing my lips against hers.

"I have an Astonomy test tomorrow." She sighed. "I hate Gen. Ed. classes."

"Me too." I laughed as I gave her another kiss. "You wanna take a study break and go for some ice creme?"

"It's March, what's going to be open?" She asked as she sat up and scooted closer to me.

"Well, we can go to that diner." I laughed. "Or we can go to the store and get things to make sundaes here and Edward can join us."

"I like the second idea better." She smiled as she stood up and grabbed her jacket. Edward wanted to join us and the three of us headed out to the market down the street. It was a quick trip to the floor and we were back, making our sundaes in no time. I know I told Bella I wasn't ready for 'this' again, but I was. I always had been but I didn't want to scare her even more.

I knew she was lying to herself, even just a little bit. The way she was with Edward told me that she was ready to be a mother. The timing was bad, but she was ready. If she wasn't, there is no way they would get along as well as they do. I smiled to myself as I saw them making their sundaes together and just kept my mouth shut. All in good time.

The three of us plopped ourselves in front of the TV and Edward chose to watch Friends instead of putting a movie on. Halfway through the show, there was a loud knocking at the door and I gave Bella my bowel to hold while I answered it. I swung the door open and to my surprise, Emmett was standing there, looking as frazzled as I'd ever seen him.

"Emmett?" I asked, stepping aside to let him in. "What's up?"

"I...I gotta...oh jeeze." He stuttered as paced around the hallway. "I need to talk to you."

"Okay, you wanna go into the kitchen?" I asked. "Bella and Edward are in the living room."

"Yeah, it's whatever." He sighed as we walked into the kitchen. I gave him a beer and he was halfway done with it by the time I had mine opened.

"What's up?" I asked, sitting down next to him.

"Well you know how when you have sex, theres a chance the girl could get pregnant?" He asked me.

"Yeah?"

"Well, guess what?" He asked, his voice high pitched. "Having sex got Rosalie pregnant...again."

"She's...she's pregnant?" I asked. Ariana was only four months old. There was no way either of them were ready for this. Especially Emmett. He was still getting used to Ariana being around and having to take care of her. "You know how far along?"

"Rose thinks like a month. Maybe a month and a half."

"Wow," I sighed. I didn't blame him for panicking. I'd be doing the same thing. "So, why are you here?"

"We had a fight and she took Ariana over to her parents place to cool down." He sighed. "I didn't know where to go." He whispered, and his mood went from panicked, to very very sad.

"It's fine." I assured him. "Look, I know this must be scary. I'd be scared as hell too if it were me. But, you have to look at the positive?"

"What?" He asked. "Ariana will barely be a year old. We're already being torn in ten different directions. And financially, we're good but having to clothe and feed another person is going to set everything off."

"Yeah, but think about it." I whispered. "Two babies, twice as much laughter and smiles and love. Emmett, it's going to be hard, but I have faith in both of you."

"At least one of us does." He said sadly as he dropped his head to look at the ground.

"Look, I know that once you hold that baby, you'll calm down." I whispered. "Now you have to home and talk to Rosalie."

"She's refusing to speak to me."

"Only because you're freaking out and acting like you don't want the baby." I told him. "You have to talk to her, Emmett."

After talking to him some more, he agreed that he needed to go home and talk it out. I gave him one reassuring pep talk before he left to go home and talk things out. By the time I got back to the living room, Bella and Edward were in the middle of a very intense sounding talk.

"I don't want you to go again." He whispered. "I feel like you're going to disappeared."

"I'm not going anywhere though, Edward." She tried to assure him.

"You said that before." He reminded. "But, you could. I mean, you and dad are kinda far apart in age. I mean, he's thirty-three and your nineteen. What happens if you want kids but he thinks he's too old?"

"I don't know, Edward." She whispered. "We've never really talked about that before. But, if for some reason your father and I break up again...I promise I won't be breaking up with you either."

"Really?"

"Look, Edward. You and I have a special bond." She sighed. "It's not a mother/son but it's closer than a friend relationship."

"That didn't matter to you before."

"I wasn't really thinking of what the breakup would do to you." She whispered. "And that was stupid and unfair to you. But, if we do break up again I promise you we'll always stay close."

"Promise?" He asked.

"Pinky swear." She laughed and I decided it was time to stop listening in on their conversation and walked back into the room. The three of us stayed up late just watching TV until it was absolutely time for Edward to get ready for bed.

* * *

Another week passed and it was another week closer to my birthday. Thirty-four. I was turning thirty-four years old and it was just another reminder that I was getting closer to forty. I didn't wanna be closer to forty. I wanted to be closer to Bella's age.

"So, Emmett told me your birthday is next week." She laughed as we made dinner together while Edward was with my mother. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I'm just not a fan of celebrating getting old." I shrugged. "I mean it was nice when the only thing you wanted to do was grow up. But, after twenty-five it's not that fun."

"We aren't celebrating you getting old." She sighed. "We're celebrating your life and you being born. I'd say thats something to celebrate."

"Not really."

"Okay, I don't care what you think." She said, throwing the rag down on the counter. "We are going out and we're going to have some fun for your thirty-forth birthday."

"I don't have any say?" I wined. I didn't even let Esme do anything super fancy for my birthday.

"Nope." She laughed, going back to making dinner. We spent a wonderful evening together and it was even better because we were kid free. I loved Edward, but I needed time alone with Bella sometimes. I did understand why she would be scared she was becoming like a mother to Edward, but after the talk I heard last week I knew that had subsided.

Bella was refusing to say anything to me about what she was planning for my birthday and I was getting irritated. I'd never liked surprises, especially birthday surprises. Edward was also doing a good job keeping it quiet about what she was planning.

"Happy birthday!" Emmett yelled as I walked into my office that morning.

"How'd you get in here?" I asked as I gave him a hug.

"Bella let me use the key you gave her." He laughed, handing me a box. "This is for you."

"I said no presents." I laughed, unwrapping the package.

"Oh, it isn't from me." He smiled as I opened the box. Inside was a note with Bella's handwriting on it.

_Today is your birthday. Meet me by the campus clock tower for your birthday dinner at six sharp. There is an outfit for you to wear under your desk. I love you. -Bella_

"So, what's it say?" Emmett asked.

"None of your business." I laughed, walking around my desk and finding the box underneath the desk, just like she said. I opened it and found a beautiful suit and a bright red tie. Knowing that I was getting a romantic dinner with Bella made the day go by faster. After my last class, I changed into the suit Bella had bought for me and headed out. But, not without running into Maddie.

"Hi, Carlisle." She smiled. She hadn't really talked to me since I told her off when Bella and I were apart.

"Hey," I sighed. I just wanted to get out of here.

"Happy birthday."

"You remembered?" I asked. I hadn't been with her for my birthday since college.

"How could I forget?" She laughed, digging in her bag. She pulled out a flat, wrapped package and held it out for me. "This is for you."

"You...you got me a gift?" I asked, taking it from her and began unwrapping it. Once unwrapped, I saw that she'd gotten me a vintage _In Utero_ record. "You got me a Nirvana vinyl?"

"I know how much you loved them back in college." She shrugged. "Anyway, happy birthday. I'll see you later." She said as she began walking away.

"Maddie!" I called and she stopped and turned around. "Thanks."

"Anytime." She smiled and walked away. Maybe I'd finally gotten through to her. I stashed the record in my office before making my way across campus to the clock tower. I saw her smiling at me, looking beautiful as always in a pink dress with heels I assumed to be Alice's. I couldn't help but run to her and since there was no one around, I was free to do that.

"Happy birthday." She sighed after I put her down again. She pulled something out of her bag and I saw that it was a blindfold. "Humor me?"

"You're lucky I love you." I laughed as I turned around. She tied it tightly around my head and grabbed my hand. She led me through the parking lot and helped me get into her truck. I hated being blindfolded, but it was Bella. How could I say no? We drove for another ten minutes before she stopped the car. "Can I take this off now?"

"Yes." She giggled as I reached around and untied the piece of fabric. Once it was off, I couldn't believe my eyes. We were sitting in front of _Acappella's, _one of my favorite places to eat in the city. I'd talked about one day taking her here, but I never thought she'd be the one bringing me.

"Bella..." I sighed as I got out of the car. I walked around the truck and opened the door for her and basically picked her up out of it. I kissed her deeply and only broke apart when we heard peoples small voices. "How did you..."

"You deserve the best, Carlisle." She sighed. "And I intended to give you just that." She smiled, grabbing my hand and pulling me inside. She'd made reservations right after getting back together and we were seated immediately. We sat down and since they carded heavily here, I refused a glass of wine.

"You could have had a glass." She laughed as she looked at the menu.

"It isn't a big deal." We ordered quickly and then we were left just gazing at each other. We must have looked so cheesy and lame, but I didn't care. I loved her and that was all I needed.

"So, can it be present time?" She asked, looking giddy and excited.

"Bella, you've done more than enough for me tonight."

"No I haven't." She argued as she dug in her purse for my gift. She handed me a thin box with only a bow to wrap it. I looked at her smiling as I opened it and couldn't believe what she'd given me. I was holding two plane tickets to Barcelona Spain and a receipt for a five night stay at a hotel.

"Bella, this is too much." I sighed, putting it down on the table. "I mean I love the thought but I can't let you spend this money on me."

"I barely spent any money." She told me. "It was a graduation present."

"What?"

"My parents told me for my graduation that they would pay for me and one other person to go anywhere I wanted to go." She explained. "I didn't get to use it before I left for school, but the offer still stood. My dad is really good friends with a travel agent and got the best deals out there."

"This is still too much."

"No, it isn't." She argued. "I didn't know where I wanted to go until you told me you've been dreaming to go to Spain ever since you took your first year of Spanish in high school. Now, I wanna go to Spain with you so you can live out a dream of yours."

"What about your dream place?"

"I have plenty of time for that." She laughed. "Knowing my parents, they'll do this again for my college graduation. They told me traveling around the world was the best experience of their lives and want me to know what it's like too."

"They traveled around the world?"

"Well not the whole world, but all the major cities." She laughed. "That was their honeymoon. They didn't stay in the five star hotels, but they got to see a whole bunch of Europe and some of the US. They went on a two and a half week honeymoon."

"Wow. I don't want to take this away from you."

"You aren't." She told me. "I wasn't sure who I would want to share this with. Then I met you."

"I love you so much." I sighed as I leaned across the table and kissed her gently. "When do we leave?"

"Wednesday at three." She told me. "We're both done with class by two that day and I figured we might as well get all we can out of it. The flight is about eight hours so we'll get there around ten and then have five beautiful days alone."

"That sounds...perfect." I whispered, kissing her again. We finished our meal and then we were headed back to my apartment for cake and ice creme with Edward before he had to go to bed. I noticed the all the cars in the parking lot, but didn't think anything of it until Bella was practically dragging me upstairs. "What did you do?"

"Nothing. Come on!" She squealed as she pulled me down the hallway. She dug her key out of her bag and unlocked the door. The place was dark, and turning on the light was very entertaining.

"SURPRISE!" I heard a crowd of people call. I looked around and saw all the people I loved. My parents. Edward. Emmett and Rosalie along with Rosalie's family. A few of my cousins that I hadn't seen in a while but loved like siblings.

"You did this?" I asked. Big gatherings might not be a good idea.

"No." She laughed, shaking her head.

"Then why were you so eager to get up here?"

"Think about it, Carlisle." She laughed as Edward came up to us. He held out a cone birthday hat, and forced me to put it on.

"You know who did this, Edward?" I asked after I said hello to everyone.

"I did." He said, very proud of himself. "With the help of grandma."

"Thanks bud." I said, squeezing him tightly. "I love it."


	20. Make Something

**Chapter Twenty: Make Something**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"So you have the hotels number and my phone is still going to work while we're over there." Carlisle said as he rushed to 'prep' his mother for taking care of Edward while we were gone. Even though she'd watched him for an entire month in the summer before. "And all the doctors numbers and emergency numbers are on the fridge."

"Carlisle?" She asked as she chase him around the apartment. "I raised you, remember? I think I can handle my grandson before."

"I know you can but..."

"It's every parents worry." She laughed. "I know, but who do you think you learned everything?"

"Right." He agreed, going over and hugging her. He said goodbye to Edward for the tenth time before we really had to go before our cab left us. We got in the car and I could barely contain my excitement. I was going away with my boyfriend and there was no way in hell anyone would ruin this. Alice and I had just been shopping and she bought me brand new clothes for the trip. It was just Carlisle and I. What more could a girl ask for?

"I can't believe we're doing this." He said as he jumped up and down as we stood in line at security in the airport. By the time we got through security, we only had an hour before boarding and I was beginning to get overly excited. Like a little kid going to Disney World for the first time. We spent most of the wait in silence, holding each other.

As we sat in each other's arms, I didn't miss the glances and stares from other people passing us. He was older than me, but not my much. Only fourteen years. The way people looked at us was like he was eighty and I was the playboy bunny.

But, there was no use in worrying about it. I was about to go on the trip of a lifetime with the guy I loved more than life itself. I never thought when my parents gave me the gift that I'd be spending it with my boyfriend. I always thought Angela and I would be taking this trip together. But, here we sat ready to embark on a trip that would forever remain in my memory, even if we were long broken up.

"Flight 659 for Barcelona is now boarding." The flight attendant said over the intercom. Carlisle and I stood and got in the line.

The flight was long. Eight hours. I wasn't a huge fan of flying and the day had been exhausting. There was no room to get comfy to sleep. However, Carlisle being the amazing man he was, offered me his shoulder and I slept better on that flight than I ever had...on an airplane anyway. He woke me up just as the captain was giving the current weather and told me to look out the window.

"Bella, look." He whispered as he pointed out the window. And, I thought New York was gorgeous all lit up. However, this city had more of a history than New York did and that made it even more beautiful. "There's the Sagrada Família."

"Beautiful." I sighed as I took everything in. We were in the air for another ten minutes before landing and I was sure Carlisle was going to have to carry me to the cab. Baggage claim was hell as always and by the time we were outside, it was almost midnight. That, plus jet lag was not a good combo. It was only six o'clock at home and I was even more exhausted than from when we left the states.

"Hey, wake up." He laughed as he shook me gently. I opened my eyes and saw that a cab had pulled up in front of us, ready to take us to our hotel. "Do I need to carry you?"

"Please." I laughed, still half asleep. He helped me to my feet and led me to the cab. He put our things in the trunk and gave the driver the address of our hotel. I had taken spanish two years ago and I remembered a minimal amount of it. Carlisle on the other hand, a man who hadn't taken it in eighteen was managing to speak it almost fluently.

"When did you get so good as Spanish?" I asked.

"I've kept up on it." He shrugged. "Rosetta Stone actually works."

Getting checked into the hotel was a breeze and Carlisle let me ride the luggage cart up to the room, even though we only had four bags.

"Okay, up." He laughed, as we reached our room. He got the bags put away and then went downstairs to put it back. I found my make-up bag in my suitcase and went into the bathroom to wash up. The cool water on my face was enough to wake me up, even just for five more minutes. My dad had booked us one of the only rooms with a balcony and I couldn't believe the view.

Everything was lit up and the streets were still going. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, taking everything in. I didn't even hear Carlisle come back into the room and had no idea he was there until he wrapped his hands around my waist.

"Happy vacation." He whispered, kissing my shoulder. "Ready for bed?"

"Yes please." I sighed. This time he actually did pick me up and carry me to the bed. I was in sweat pants and a t-shirt, I was not waisting anymore time by changing into PJ's. Carlisle crawled into bed next to me and draped his arm over me like always. We both fell asleep within minutes and when our alarms and wake-up call went off the next morning, we were not ready for it.

"We gotta get up." He moaned after the fourth alarm rang.

"No!" I wined. I was barely fast asleep it felt.

"Yes." He laughed, nudging me. "We came to Barcelona to see it, not the pillow of the hotel."

"But they're such nice pillows." I wined as he pulled me up. "Carlisle, one more hour."

"Nope." He said. "You'll keep trying to push it back and then the day will be gone. Get up lazy bum."

"You're the one who's impossible to wake up." I laughed, wiping my eyes. "Why can't I get to sleep longer?"

"Because this trip was your idea." He laughed as he threw the blankets off and went into the bathroom. I slowly stood and made my way to my suitcase, pulling out a pair of skinny jeans and one of Carlisle's white button ups that Alice remade into something more girly for me. By the time he came out, nice and smooth, I was ready for the day.

"Is that one of my shirts?" He laughed, pulling out an outfit for himself.

"Yep." I said as I shut the bathroom door. I put my hair into a nicer ponytails and brushed my teeth and by the time I was done, Carlisle was ready to go. I pulled on my brown boots and we were off to discover Barcelona.

We walked around for six hours that day, discovering all that the beautiful city had to offer. Carlisle was amazing. Even though he'd never actually been here, he knew where everything was, what building was what and he knew the culture really well. The most beautiful thing place we saw was the _Park Güell, _a one hundred year old little garden complex.

"This was actually built as a housing site, but it didn't work out." He told me as we walked around. "What do you think?"

"Gorgeous." I sighed once I saw the mosaic on one of the walls as we roamed around the main terrace.

"Gaudí created that." He told me as he walked up behind me. We finished looking around and then decided it was time to go back to the hotel. He showered first as I called my mother like I promised I would. Thankfully, she didn't ask to speak to Alice or anything like that and she only asked how the day had gone. Once Carlisle got out of the shower, I said goodbye and jumped in myself.

"You look very nice." I said as I came out of the bathroom in only my towel. He eyed me, giving me a wink as I went over to the closet and picked out of my dress.

"So do you." He whispered in my ear, reaching around and grabbing my waste. He began kissing the back of my neck, and I went weak at the knees when he kissed my sweet spot. He untucked my towel and let it fall the ground, leaving me completely exposed. I got goosebumps all up and down my arm from his gentle touches as his hands crept up my body.

"We're...we're going to be late." I protested as he cupped my breast with one of his hands.

"We can always order room service." He told me as he turned me around to face him.

"No," I argued, pushing him away once I wasn't so hypnotized by what he was doing. "We came to Barcelona to see things, not stay in this room." I told him, mocking him from this morning.

"But,"

"No arguing." I said as I picked my towel back up and got my dress and went into the bathroom. I took one last look in the mirror, took a big breath, and went back out to greet him. He smiled at me and took my hand, bringing it up to my lips and kissing it gently.

"Hermoso." He whispered as I blushed. "Shall we?"

"We shall." I giggled as I grabbed my bag and he pulled me out of the room. We made it to the restaurant in no time and I couldn't believe the arrangements Carlisle made for us. It was a small little place, but one of the most romantic settings he'd ever taken me to. "It's beautiful."

"My grandfather talked about taking my grandmother here while they were still young."

"Your grandparents are spanish?" I asked. His name was english.

"My mother's father is." He told me. "They met during World War II. He barely spoke any english but they managed to fall in love."

"How'd they meet?"

"Her and her family left England to go to somewhere safer and her father thought Spain was the safest place in Europe. She was just exploring Palma and they ran into each other." He sighed. "He was working as a breadmaker and she was the daughter of a wealthy steel tycoon."

"Were they Romeo and Juliet?"

"No, my great grandparents warmed up to him eventually." He laughed. "Anyway, they explored Spain together while she was there and when the war was over, her parents invited him back to live with them so the two of them could be together. My grandpa lost both his parents in a fire and was living with his aunt and uncle in a small three bedroom with ten people living there."

"Ten people?" I asked.

"Yes. His aunt and uncle. Three sisters and four cousins." He sighed. "His aunt and uncle gladly said yes."

"How did they talk if he spoke little english?"

"She taught him." He shrugged. "They studied and by the time they had my uncle, he was fluent."

"When did they come over to America?"

"In the fifties." He told me. "Right before they had my mother. Anyway, they told me about this place every time they got the chance. They told me this was the place they were at when they both knew they wanted to be together forever."

"And were they?" I asked. "Together forever?"

"Yes." He smiled. "My grandfather died when I was fifteen and my grandmother died six months later. The doctors say she had a heart attack, but my mother kept saying it was because of her broken heart."

"I agree with your mother." I laughed. "Now I know how your so romantic."

"How?"

"By living it." I laughed. We finished our meal and Carlisle was very anxious to get back to our hotel. I couldn't imagine why though. We were in one of the most romantic cities in the world and I'd been holding out on him all day. No, since we got here. He pushed me through the lobby and once the elevator doors were closed, he pushed me against the wall and kissed me passionately.

I heard him growel when the doors opened and pulled me down the hall to our room. He kicked the door shut as he smashed his lips onto mine. His lips never left mine as he discarded my jean jacket and kicked off his shoes. I broke the kiss with a giggle as I heard something crash onto the floor.

"We're going to have to pay for that lamp you know." I said as I gently removed my own shoes, sizing back to my normal height.

"It can come out of Edward's college fund." He growled as he pushed me into the bedroom. He practically threw me onto the bed and began unbuttoning his shirt. I'd never seen him like this. Like such a...man before. And it was completely turning me on.

He flipped me onto my stomach and unzipped my dress and turned me around again, and began pawing at the top of my dress.

"If you don't give me a damn second to take my dress of you aren't getting anything." I told him. Half joking, half being serious. It was a turn on, but I was dating a man, not a fifteen year old boy getting 'some' for the first time. He backed off and gently helped me get my dress off. "Continue." I giggled.

He gave me a smirk before crashing his lips onto my neck and began rubbing me through my soaking panties. I moaned loudly as my hips began moving against his hand, desperately craving friction. However, his clothes were still on and I shot up and began unbuckling his belt, and then his pants, and finally pulling them down so he was just in his boxers.

I smiled at him as he unclasped my bra and threw that on the floor. His mouth traveled to my breasts and sucked on each of them hard as I gripped him through his boxers. I felt him grow harder until he came up for air and removed my panties and his boxers and entered me without giving me any warning.

"Oh FUCK!" I yelled as he plunged into me harder than he ever had before. "Carlisle!" I cried as he pumped into me harder and harder each time. It was amazing how quickly we both came and he fell on top of me, sweaty and out of breath.

"Damn, Bella." He practically choked out as he caught his breath. "That was..."

"Yeah." I agreed as my phone rang. I grabbed it and looked at the ID. "It's my mom."

"Don't answer." He pleaded. I didn't want to, but I had to.

"If I don't she'll call the Barcelona police." I laughed as I pressed the green button. "Hi, mom." I said, still trying to catch my breath. Carlisle buried his head in between my breasts as my mother said hello.

"You sound out of breath?" She asked as Carlisle rolled off of me.

"Yeah, Alice and I just ran up the stairs of our hotel."

"Why?"

"We wanted to go get some Gelato but the stores close a little earlier here," I began to tell my story. "And we were out of cash from dinner."

"Oh, well I hope it's good."

"Me too." I laughed as Carlisle got out of bed. He went into the bathroom and I heard the shower start. I loved my mom, but there are so many things I could think of doing rather than talking to her at that moment. It always seemed when there was something better waiting for me, she never shut up.

By the time we finally said goodbye, Carlisle was out from rinsing off and in his PJ bottoms. He only shrugged at me as he grabbed his book from his bedside table.

"Sorry, what was I supposed to do?" I asked.

"Ignore her."

"I can't do that, Carlisle."

"You're nineteen, Bella." He sighed. "You can do whatever you want."

"Yeah, but I can't ignore when she's the one paying for us to be here and when I'm in an entirely different country." I sighed. "It's one thing to ignore her at home, but she's even more worried than usual."

"All I'm saying is...you let your mother ruin this for us."

"No, you're ruining this for us." I spat as I went into the bathroom to rinse the sweat off and then went to stand on the balcony. I didn't want to be fighting. Not here but he was just...rubbing me the wrong way tonight. I know he was older and didn't have to respond to his mother, but I did.

"I'm sorry." I heard him say as the door opened. "I'm ruining this for us."

"Yep." I sighed, not looking at him.

"You have to understand though." He told me, forcing me to look at him. "I'm not used to this. I'm not used to parents checking in on me...and I'm especially not used to someone answering right after sex."

"I know and believe me I didn't want to answer, but I had to." I argued. "I told her I'd answer when I could and it wasn't the ideal time but I was able to answer her, Carlisle. And that didn't mean you had to go rinse off and get changed."

"I know, I'm sorry." He sighed, kissing my shoulder. "I'm sorry." I gave in and just decided to forget about it. We were alone together and I wasn't going to ruin this by staying ticked off.

"I love you." I whispered as he hugged me tighter. "No matter what."

"I love you more than you'll ever know." He sighed into my ear as he pulled me back inside, and straight to the bed.


	21. Little Darling

**Chapter Twenty-One: Little Darling**

* * *

**Carlisle's POV**

Bella and I spent the next three together wrapped up in amazement. Everyday we went on another adventure and if it were possible, everyday I loved her more. But, I was ready to get home. I was good in spanish, but I missed the street signs in english and pizza. But, most importantly I missed Edward. We talked to him as much as we could, but it was sometimes hard when we were on different continents.

"You ready?" I asked as she came out of the bathroom wearing skinny jeans and a grey tank top. She always looked beautiful, but she'd developed a new style for this trip and I hoped she didn't go back to just jeans and a t-shirt. I loved seeing her all dolled up, even if it was casual.

"Everything's packed." She sighed. We were catching the red eye tonight so we were trying to squeeze in everything that we could. We had a little more walking around, one more cafe and the thing I'd been saving for the entire trip. The _Magic Fountains of Montjuic._ It had to be the most romantic thing Barcelona had to offer and we were not going to miss it.

"We'll come back." I assured her, kissing her forehead.

"We better." She laughed as she went back into the bathroom. When she came out, she had her jeans tucked into her grey boots and a grey beanie on.

"Since when do you where hats?" I laughed as I wiped a piece of hair out of her face.

"I don't know." She laughed. "Since Alice told me I'd look good in one. Do I?"

"You look good in everything." I assured her, kissing her cheek. "But yes, hats are a good look on you."

We went downstairs to eat breakfast and then were off for the day. She was exhausted by the time the sun began going down, but she had to understand the best was yet to come.

"Can't we just go back and relax until we have to go to the airport?" She nearly wined as we walked along the edge of the fountain. "There are a ton of fountains in New York."

"Not like this." I told her. "Just be patient, Bella." I whispered as she leaned against me as I wrapped my arm around her. I grew giddy as it got darker and the water began shooting out even fiercer than before. Suddenly, color erupted out and Bella stiffened in amazement.

"Oh my god." She sighed as she perked up and walked closer. "Carlisle,"

"My grandfather proposed to my grandma hear." I told her and her eyes opened even wider. "I'm not proposing, Bella." I laughed. "I just thought it was romantic and I wanted to show it to you because...even though we aren't ready to get married yet...I'm so very in love with you, Bella Swan."

"I love you." She whispered, leaning in and brushing her lips against mine. She broke the kiss and wrapped her hands around me tightly as we watched the fountain spout out colorful water. We stood there until it was absolutely time to leave without missing our flight.

"Thank you for a wonderful time." She sighed as we sat in the cab together.

"This trip was because of you, Bella." I whispered. "I should be thanking you."

"But it wouldn't have been the same without you." She argued. "You're what made this trip amazing for me. You and only you. We could have been vacationing at a junkyard and it would have been perfect."

We arrived at the airport and made our way through security. We found our gate and Bella was practically asleep by the time we had to start boarding the plane. Bella fell asleep immediately until we were about to reach land. With the time difference, the sun was just starting to come up over the water. As we neared closer to the city, I began seeing the skyline in black as the sun began rising in the sky.

"Bella," I whispered, shaking her gently. She slowly opened her eyes and lifted her head to look at me. She was adorable when she was tired, her eyes were barely open and she just looked so...natural. "Look."

"What?" She asked as she looked past me to the window. "Wow," The sky was turning to a brilliant shade of pink and the sun was rising higher. Purple was mixing in and it was the most beautiful sunrise I'd ever seen. A few more minutes in the air and then we began our descend back to the ground. Since it was so early, the airport wasn't very crowded and we found our bags easily.

"Ready to go back to reality?" I asked as we waited at the curb for our cab.

"No, but I will if I have to." She laughed. The ride didn't take long at all and when we opened the door, I saw Edward asleep on the couch. I laughed as I went over and woke him up. He rubbed his eyes and sat up tiredly. He smiled and leaned in to give me a big hug before waving at Bella.

"How was your trip?" He asked, yawning.

"It was good." I smiled. "But, go back to sleep and I'll tell you about it while you get ready for school."

"But, it's only an hour. I wanna hear about it."

"And you will." I laughed. "Now go back to sleep for a while." I told him and he didn't need much encouragement to lay back down. Bella and I saw my mother was in Edward's room, leaving our bedroom open. We fell asleep immediately and when I woke up and looked at the clock, panicked. I got out of bed and went to go wake Edward up, but he was gone and so were all of his school things.

"Darling, he's in school and its almost noon." I heard my mother laugh from the kitchen. "But, lunch is almost ready."

"Why didn't you wake us up?" I asked as I sat down. "I would have gotten him to school."

"I know, but I wanted you to sleep some." She laughed. "You wanna go get Bella?"

"Yeah," I smiled heading into our bedroom. I couldn't help but get butterflies in my stomach when I saw her sleeping. She was so peaceful and it made me love her even more. I went over and carefully crawled into bed and kissed her on the cheek. She moaned and slowly opened her eyes, smiling when she saw me. "It's noon and my mother made us lunch."

"What is it?" She asked. "Because I'm craving fried chicken."

"I don't think it's that but we can make that happen for dinner." I told her as I helped her sit up. We shuffled into the kitchen where my mother had Kraft macaroni and chicken nuggets ready for us.

"I've been feeding an eleven year old for a week...it was all I had." She laughed as Bella and I looked at each other.

"No, it's perfect." Bella laughed as she dug in. We spent the rest of the afternoon unpacking, and making sure we didn't fall asleep. We both had to return to school the next day and we had to make sure to get back to a normal sleep schedule. At three, Edward came bustling through the door and nearly knocked Bella and I as he hugged us tightly.

"I missed you guys." He sighed as I hugged him tightly. It was the first time since Esme's death that we were seperated for more than a school day. It was hard on him, I could tell, but he was completely fine. "I love Grandma, but it wasn't the same."

"I missed you too, bud." I sighed, giving him another squeeze. "Did grandma feed you junk all week?" I asked. She was a good eater, and made me a good eater. But, she loved to spoil her only grandson, so I was interested in knowing what he ate all week when I saw Kraft and chicken nuggets on the table for lunch.

"Not all week." He said. "But, there was junk I'll admit that."

"At least you're honest." I laughed as Bella came into the room with the gift we bought for Edward. She handed him the package and he only looked at us in confusion. "Open it." I whispered and he began pealing the brown paper off of the package. His eyes lit up when he realized what was inside of the frame.

"Jose Trago." He whispered as he scanned the page. "But..."

"It isn't real." I sighed. "It's a copy of an original piece of his. He composed it in Madrid where he did most of his work, but he's famous all over spain."

"Thank you." He said, hugging me again. "I can't even...thank you."

"Anything for you." I whispered, rubbing his back as he gave me a big squeeze. No matter where Bella and I were going, I would always have my son. I would always have that person to love, and to love me back. He wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

* * *

Bella and I slipped back into our regular routine the next day and even though it was hard to wake up, we were both on time for our classes. I hated saying goodbye to her. We'd just spent a week together, alone and able to be together and now we had to pretend like nothing was happening. It almost felt like a punishment of some sorts. But, we both put on our happy faces and headed to campus in seporate cars like always.

Maddie was no where in sight when I walked into the building and I was hoping it would stay that way. I did not want her around right now, not after the amazing time I had with Bella. Emmett, however, was sitting in front of my office when I walked up and he looked worried and frumpy. Almost as if he'd been here all night.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I asked. He was never this early in the mornings and I was worried when I saw how wrinkled his suit was. "Are you okay?"

"I...I don't know." He sighed, and I saw him wiping away tears. I unlocked the door and let him inside. He slumped down in one of the chairs and just began sobbing. I let him be and handed him the tissue box. He didn't try to hide his tears or sorrows and gladly accepted the tissues from me.

"Please just tell me the baby is okay." I whispered. I was so afraid Rosalie had miscarried. But, when he shook his head no, I knew she and the baby were fine. "Tell me what's going on, Emmett. You're scarring me."

"Twins." He whispered, and took a deep breath to calm himself down. "We're having...twins. Two babies at a time."

"Oh," I sighed. I knew how scarred he was when he found out she was pregnant, but to find out he's having one more baby along with that...he was going to have a panic attack.

"Two babies, Carlisle." He sighed once his tears had stopped. "I'm not even ready for one more."

"I know, but..."

"No." He told me. "I won't be ready when they come and I hold them. I'm going to love them and I already do...but I'm not ready for this, Carlisle. I wasn't even ready for Ariana and we'd been planning on having a baby for months before Rosalie got pregnant."

"I know your scarred..."

"No, I was scarred when I found out she was pregnant again." He told me. "I fucking terrified."

"Okay, I know you're terrified, but you're going to be fine." I told him. "You weren't ready for Ariana, but I can't tell. I know how much you love her and I know how good of a father you really are. No amount of babies is going to take that from you. You'll always be an amazing dad. Weather you're having one baby or eight."

"Right,"

"But, the question is why are you here and how long have you been here?"

"Since yesterday after her doctors appointment." He sighed. "I was in shock and we drove in two cars because she was coming from work and I got in the car and just...drove away. She knows I'm safe and that I needed time. But, I really don't know why I'm sitting on the floor in front of your office."

"Go home, Emmett." I smiled. "Go talk to your wife and hug your daughter."

"She's not going to want to see me."

"She loves you." I reminded him. "For better or worse, right?"

"Yeah yeah." He sighed as he stood up. "What if I can't do it Carlisle? What if I can't do it financially, physically...emotionally? What if..."

"Emmett, you can live your whole like in fear of the 'what ifs?'" I sighed. "What if she doesn't like me? What if she says no to my proposal? What if I don't get the job?"

"Yeah, but."

"No." I said, shaking my head. He was a big boy and he had to get over his fears of what may happen. "You have to live knowing somehow, someway the situation will work itself out. Ariana will be almost a year old once the twins come and assuming one of them is a girl, you have clothes for her to wear."

"True,"

"Plus the toys Ariana used as a new born." I pointed out. "Trust me when I say it'll work out."

"How do you know that?"

"I don't and no one really does. Not even Rosalie." I laughed. "But, you can't live in fear forever, Emmett. You've been living in it for too long and you need to push past and get to the other side. It's a lot brighter than you think."

"You've been hanging out with a college student for too long." He laughed. "She's starting to rub off on you."

"I think that's a good thing!" I defended. "Go home, Emmett. Call in sick today and spend the day with Rosalie. Work out a plan. Love on her. Do whatever you have to do to prove to her you're the same guy she married and the same dad when Ariana was born."

"Thanks, Carlisle." He sighed, hugging me tightly, not even trying to make it a 'manly' hug. After he left, I got started on grading papers I'd put off all break. At lunchtime, I was surprised when Bella walked inside, holding a picnic basket.

"I thought we could try to remake what we had while we were in Spain." She laughed as she spread out the table cloth on the ground. She set out the containers on the floor, and smiled when I saw she'd made some of the most 'American' foods out there. "I loved Spain, but I missed American food."

"Me too." I laughed as she spooned some mashed potato's on my plate. We had the dinner she said she'd been craving since before we left home. Fried chicken, mashed potato's, salad and peach cobbler for desert. I was even more spoiled now then when I was a kid. And my mother fed me until I was unbuckling my jeans.

"I don't understand." I laughed as she handed me another chicken leg. "You're from Washington. The northern most state in the country and yet...you love fried chicken."

"So?" She asked, stuffing her face with lettuce.

"It's just so...southern."

"Haven't you ever heard of KFC?" She asked. "Carlisle my mama and I lived on that for an entire month while my daddy was working the night shift." She said in a very bad southern accent.

"Accents are not your thing, babe." I laughed.

"But really," She laughed. "I just love fried chicken. I'm not sure why but I do. And KFC did have a big part in that love growing." We finished up and by the time everything was cleaned up, my class was going to be coming in, in only five minutes.

"Sorry but they're going to be coming in soon." I sighed as I handed her the basket back.

"I understand." She sighed. "I have some studying to catch up on anyway." She smiled, digging in her bag for something.

"What's this?" I asked when she handed me a package.

"Pictures from the trip." She shrugged. "I got doubles of everything."

"You know I can't display these, right?"

"I know, but you can in your house." She winked. "I took out all of the pictures of us anyway. No one will know."

"You have copies, don't you?"

"Of course. Tucked away." She smiled. "I love you, but you gotta go."

"I know." I sighed, pressing my forehead against hers. "Thank you for everything you've done for me. I'm never going to be able to repay you."

"Being with me will always be enough." She sighed, softly pressing her lips to mine. The rest of my day was easily and knowing I was going to be having dinner with Bella and Edward that night made the day go faster. Once I was greeted by Edward, I went back to my room where I heard Bella talking.

"Yes, thank you so much." She said into her phone. "Goodbye."

"Who was that?" I asked after giving her a kiss.

"The Daily News." She sighed. "They offered me a summer internship."

"Sweetie, that's fantastic!" I said, giving her a deeper kiss. "But, I thought you wanted to be an author?"

"I do." She agreed. "But, I'll take anything I can get. And maybe this will lead me somewhere in the direction of writing my own books."

"Good optomism." I laughed. "So, what are you going to be doing?"

"A lot of small stuff." She sighed. "Some editorials. Some critic work. I think they just liked my writing and thought they'd give me a broad spectrum of what a newspaper is really like."

"That's amazing."

"It is." She agreed. "But, I never sent my journalism writings anywhere." She sighed. "You know, from the five chapters on newspapers and magezines. I sent out my fiction writings to publishing companies. I sent out a lot of other things, but never any of my journalism stuff."

"Companies have a lot of ways of getting things."

"Yeah, but I don't even think I've ever even mentioned the Daily news in anything I've written...I'm not even sure I read that a lot of the time."

"It will always be a mystery then." I shrugged.

"You're a terrible liar, Carlisle." She laughed, wrapping her arms around my neck. "Thank you."

"Anything for you." I sighed, tilting my head and giving her a deep kiss.


	22. Before the Cool Dawn

**Chapter Twenty-Two: Before the Cool Dawn**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"So, how am I going to stay in the city for the internship?" I asked as we watched TV later that night. "I can't stay in my dorm."

"Do you even stay in your dorm now?" He laughed. "Just stay with me."

"How am I going to explain that to my parents?" I asked.

"The same way you explained going to Barcelona with Alice." He laughed again. "Say your staying with someone who lives in the city and stay here."

"You want me to lie?" I asked, pretending to be appalled. "I can't do that!"

"Sure you can! It's easy!"

"And you have an eleven year old boy." I sighed, sounding disapproving. "Well, I guess it's the only way."

"It may be." He sighed, kissing my cheek. "Call them and get it over with. You only have a month of school left."

"Wow, one more month." I sighed, standing up and going into our bedroom. I sat down on the bed and took a deep breath before dialing their number. It rang a bunch of times and I was about to give up before I heard a click on the other line. "Hello?"

"Hi, sweetie." My mother said cheerfully. "Let me put you on speaker!" She called, clicking the button and then dropped the phone. "Woops. Sorry."

"It's fine." I sighed, rolling my eyes as Carlisle came in and began getting ready for bed. "So, I have some pretty big news."

"You aren't pregnant, are you?" My father asked, making me choke. "Because if you are I swear..."

"Dad!" I called. "No, I'm not pregnant! I was offered an internship at the _Dailey News_."

"The newspaper?" My mom asked. "I thought you were studying to be a novelist?"

"I am, but we have to study other types of writing." I explained. "Anyway it runs throughout the summer and I wouldn't be home except for a little bit in May after school gets out." I told them and they were both quiet for a good five minutes before sighing loudly. I knew they would hate this. They never got to see me while I was away and now I wanted to take those three months away from me. But, I couldn't turn this down and I had to stay here.

"Where are you going to stay?" My dad asked. "Campus won't be open."

"A friend offered to let me stay with her."

"What friend?" He asked.

"Sandra." I was quick to come up with when I saw The Cosby Show playing on the TV. "Sandra Hunter."

"You've never mentioned her before." My mother pointed out.

"We aren't _best_ friends but she lives right outside the city and offered to let me stay with her." I said as I saw Carlisle leaning up against the wall, looking amused. "I'll be fine with them. Her parents are really nice and they invited me to have dinner with them tonight, and I was just getting ready to leave."

"I wanna speak to her mother." My dad said, and I was starting to panic.

"It's just her and her dad." I explained as Edward came into the room, complaining about a sore throat. "And younger brother."

"Then I want to take to her dad." He demanded. Carlisle said to give him a minute to get some Tylonol for Edward and came back to get on the phone. He excused himself to the living room and came back, looking flustered but pleased. He gave me a smile and I knew that I was going to be staying here for the summer. I was going to spend the entire three months with Carlisle, and doing what I loved.

What more could I ask for?

* * *

April passed by quickly and then it was time for finals. I was freaking out, Carlisle was getting anxious and Edward just tried to stay out of our ways. I spent as much time as I could at the apartment, but it was just easier to go back to my dorm after studying at the library. I had finals all over the place and I would be one of the last ones leaving campus thanks to my Astronomy class.

But, when the first final was placed in front of me, I felt completely confident. I'd studied as hard as I could and it paid off when I was one of the first people done with the test. Exam period passed by just the same and I couldn't have been happier to hand in my Astronomy test at the end of the week. I'd done what I could and I felt good about every test that I had taken.

Now, it was summer time and I was going to be living with my two favorite boys and writing. It was going to be perfect.

The only thing that was missing was Alice. She stayed an extra week so we could pack our dorm up together and say our tearful goodbyes without having to worry about not focusing on a test. We'd already signed up to be roommates again for our junior year and I knew she was planning on making trips to the city with her family already. But, it was still hard to say goodbye to her.

We'd become close friends fast and she was the only person I trusted enough to tell her everything that happened between Carlisle and I. She was the only one who cared enough about me to play dress up with me for hours to get the perfect outfit to wear, claiming dates were rare and I had to look as good as I could. If her mother hadn't been there, we would have hugged for days without letting go.

"I'm going to email you every day." She cried. "And call at least once a week."

"You'd better." I sniffled. "And I'll send you the pieces I write."

"Yes, please." She sighed, letting go.

"Thanks for everything." I smiled. "Without your constant pushing...I probably wouldn't be with Carlisle right now."

"I'd do anything for you, Bella." She cried, hugging me tightly again. "Anything. Just, don't forget to keep me posted. On everything."

"Of course." I laughed as her mother honked the horn. We gave each other one more squeeze and she got back into the car. I watched as it drove out of sight and just stood there for a few seconds, regaining myself. I felt a pair of arms wrapping around my waist and a soft kiss to my neck and smiled contently. Even the dean had left and we were officially alone on campus.

"The end of June isn't that far away, Bella." He whispered, kissing my cheek.

"You wouldn't be saying that if I were going back to Washington." I huffed as I unhooked myself from his grip and turned towards him. "Ready to go get my stuff in the car?"

"Yes I am." He laughed. "Lets go."

Since we were the only ones left in the building, moving out took half the time that moving in did and we were on our way home within an hour. We picked up take out from a diner on the way home and Edward was playing in his room when we got home. We quietly crept closer to hear better, and my heart broke when I recognized the soft tune to be 'I Will Remember You'

He'd been so strong lately, I sometimes forgot he was still grieving. He was still in therapy and working things out, but he'd been so brave for us. Carlisle listened for a little longer before softly knocking on the door and going inside. I went and began getting dinner together and by the time it was done reheating, they were coming out of his room. Carlisle nodded at me while Edward just sat down, patiently waiting for dinner.

"So, what do you wanna do tomorrow?" He asked as he took a bite of his burger. "We should go down to the park, it's supposed to be a nice day."

"Yeah, a perfect day to sit in school and learn." Carlisle laughed. "Just because Bella's out of school doesn't mean you are."

"But, dad!" He wined.

"Edward, please don't make this a big thing." Carlisle warned and Edward let it go. "Now, tomorrow when you get home...that's a perfect time to go to the park."

"Deal." He sighed and stayed pretty quiet for the rest of the meal. Both of us let it go and just let him go to his room and pout in there alone.

"I hate doing that to him." Carlisle sighed as he muted the TV. "I hate saying no after he gets all excited about something. But, I mean did he really expect to get out of school to hang out with you?"

"He was probably thinking you'd give him what he wanted because he was having a bad day."

"And I would have," He sighed. "But...Dr. Martin says I can't do that or he'll just think he can use that as an excuse for everything. And he's right. I wrote my dissertation on grieving children and how to help them cope."

"But that was before you were the one living it." I pointed out.

"You think I was wrong for saying no?" He asked.

"No," I told him honestly. "You dealt with the situation perfectly." We finished unpacking the car and I actually managed to get most of my things in the apartment since I'd found a small storage center on campus for kids who didn't want to bring all the things they'd brought home.

"I think it's safe to put this here." He said as I put my shoes in the closet. I only nodded as I squeezed my beloved moccasins in the back. For a girl who wasn't super into fashion or dressing to impress, I sure had a lot of shoes. Once I crammed all of them in the small space, and turned to see what Carlisle was talking about.

He'd found a picture frame and put one of the pictures of us from Spain in it. For some reason, it made me teary eyed to look at. Not that it made me sad, but that it made me overly joyed. Even though when we were on campus we couldn't be together, there was no one who could bust us here. It was our own little safe haven.

"It's perfect." I whispered, biting my lip. I didn't want him to see me crying over something so silly. "Just perfect."

* * *

Even though I was settled in with Carlisle at his place, I had two weeks before my internship started and I promised my parents I'd come home for that time. Carlisle left his mother with Edward and drove me to the airport to catch my flight. The car ride was silent and Carlisle didn't even look at me.

"What's up?" I whispered as he parked the car and popped the trunk.

"Nothing." He lied. Carlisle was a terrible liar. "Let's get you inside."

"No, lets talk." I sighed. "It was a Wednesday morning, it wouldn't be very busy. "You're upset?"

"I just don't want you to leave." He admitted. "Last time you left...I didn't see you for a month." Ah. He was afraid of losing me again. For what reason I didn't know, but it was his mind going in circles.

"Carlisle, I'm not...breaking up with you." I told him gently, bringing my hand up to cup his face. "It's only two weeks. We're living together for the summer, what else do I have to do to let you know that I'm not going anywhere?"

"Kiss me one last time?" He laughed, and he obviously figured out he was being silly in his fears and leaned into kiss me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he lifted me off the ground somewhat. His tongue slid across my bottom lips and I granted him access.

By the time I remembered we were in public, we were moaning and running our hands through each others hair. I pushed back on his chest and he set me back down. He winked at me and grabbed my bag out of the trunk. He helped me check my bag and walked me to security.

"I love you." I whispered, running my hand through his beautiful blonde hair. "Don't forget that."

"I won't." He agreed, leaning down and gently pressing his lips to mine. "Love you."

"I'll call you when I land." I promised as I got into line.

I got to Forks around three and my mother was all smiles when I saw her at baggage claim. She ran over to me and hugged me tightly as my father trapsed behind her. He gave me an even tighter hug then my mother and I almost thought I heard a sniffle.

We got home and my mother was like a mad woman, cooking me a home cooked meal and chattering nonstop until she put the pasta dish she'd made on the table. I told her about Alice and Jasper and how I thought they'd end up as that couple who got married right away, but made it. I told them about my classes and how I was feeling about my finals.

I spent two weeks in the town I was itching to get out of and actually enjoyed myself. My mother didn't plan anything special like she did for my fall and winter breaks and she didn't pester me quite as much. I had a good time, but I was so ready to get back to Carlisle and Edward at the end of the two weeks.

Carlisle picked me up at the airport and I ran into his arms, acting as if we hadn't seen each other for months instead of two weeks.

"I missed you." He whispered as he set me back down.

"I missed you too." I smiled, giving him one last soft kiss before we went to get my bags. We drove back to the apartment in blissful silence. Carlisle was mine for the rest of the summer. No one barging into his office. No school to focus on. No Maddie. It was perfect.

He pulled into the parking lot and parked the car. But, before I could unbuckle my seat belt, he put the car into reverse and put his foot on the gas. He pulled out and turned right, the direction of campus.

"Ummm, Carlisle?" I asked as he sped off. "Where are we going?"

"My mom's watching Edward." He shrugged, but didn't say anything else. When we pulled into the parking lot near his building, I only gave him a confused look as he got out and ran to let m out. "We have the campus to ourselves. It's Sunday...no one will be here."

I finally understood where he was going with this. He needed alone time. Noted. I smiled as I let him lead me up the stairs to the front door and he unlocked it and led me to the elevator. Since the cameras still worked, we were forced to keep our hands off each other until we got to his office.

I walked inside as he gently shut the door and turned to look at me. Since things had gotten more serious between us, we didn't have sex as much compared to when we first started dating. His eyes knowingly met mine as he strode towards me, finally meeting me in the middle of the room.

"It's been way too long." He said in between kisses as he cupped my breast with his hand. I moaned into his mouth as he began messaging it through my shirt and I could feel my nipples hardening under his touch. I reached around me and tugged at the hem of his t-shirt, and pulled it over his shoulders.

I ran my hands along his abs as he removed my own shirt, leaving me in just my bra. He was quick to remove that as well as he led me over to his desk. He laid me down and crawled on top of my, his lips kissing my stomach until he reached my breasts.

Carlisle was a pro at getting me hot and bothered.

I could feel him hardening beneath his jeans as I ground against him, seeking the friction we were both craving. He continued to kiss and massage my breasts as he rubbed me through my sweatpants. I could feel myself getting very wet and I was about to explode.

"For fucks sake, Carlisle." I whimpered in annoyance when he removed his hands all together. He pulled my sweats down and let them fall to the floor as I unbuttoned his jeans. Soon, we were both completely naked. In his office. As usual.

He picked me up and carried me to his chair where he sat down, leaving me sitting on his lap. I smiled at him as I positioned myself over his hard cock and he slowly slid into me, causing us both to moan. I braced my feet on the edge of his chair as he grabbed my ass, and I began riding him slowly at first, then faster as our moans picked up.

He picked me up again, but never let me slide out and placed me on his desk, and began pumping in and out of me.

"Fuck, Carlisle!" I moaned as I was nearing my orgasm. He smiled down at me and only pushed harder and I knew he was close too.

"Bella...Bella I'm going to come." He moaned as he pushed me over the edge.

"Fuck!" I called as he came inside of me. He fell limp on top of me, but I was shaking violently underneath him. It had to be the most earth shattering orgasm I had _ever_ had.

"Fuck, Bella." He laughed after we'd calmed down. "I don't think you've ever come that hard before."

"Me either." I agreed as he stood up.

We took a little time after getting dressed to just be in each others arms until Carlisle's phone began going off. After he spoke to his mother, we stopped at a local diner to get dinner for the three of us and headed home. Edward might have been more excited to see me than Carlisle was and I gladly accepted the big hug he gave me.

"So, how was Washington?" Edward asked as he ate a fry.

"Good." I sighed. "Boring but good."

"Why was it boring?"

"Well, I live in a really small town." I explained. "It isn't as fun as New York City."

"No where is as fun as the city." He laughed. "Then I guess it's a good thing you're staying here."

"Yeah it is." I agreed, looking at Carlisle. "A very good thing."


	23. Burn Brighter

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Burn Brighter**

* * *

**Carlisle's POV**

Knowing Bella was staying with me all summer made me giddy with excitement. We wouldn't have to experience a long distance relationship. We wouldn't have to miss each other. We could just be together.

My mother was kind enough to watch Edward while I picked Bella up at the airport and I was so glad she did. I loved my son, but I hadn't had alone time with Bella in a while and we needed that time in my office together to 'rebuild' our relationship. Our relationship was far more than just sex, but it was still good to have time alone with her.

"What time do you go into work tomorrow?" Edward asked as he helped us with the dishes.

"Around eight." She said. "Why?"

"Just wandering if we'd be awake at the same time." He laughed, handing me a plate to put in the cupboard. I laughed at his oddness. What other kid would be asking that, and who would care if they'd be up at the same time. It was just so...Edward to ask her a question.

"I think we just might cross paths." She assured him as we finished up. Bella helped Edward study for a math test while I sat out on the balcony. It was nights like this I was most thankful for. Bella was...a gift from God. I couldn't think of any other college student who would spend her free time with an eleven year old, heling him with homework. I couldn't think of anyone else who would put so much effort in a relationship that could ruin everything she'd been working for.

I would never deserve her.

Once Edward was in bed, the two of us snuggled up on the couch together, watching reruns of The Nanny and Friends before going to bed. Although I didn't have work anymore, I was still up at six thirty, getting Edward up and ready. Bella was just waking up for her shower when Edward was getting ready to leave. I didn't miss the excitement in his voice when he said good morning and knew that for some reason, his day had been made because of it.

"That boy really loves you." I yawned after watching him get on the bus.

"I really love him." She shrugged, dropping her robe to the ground. I had to hold back a moan when I saw her bending down to turn the shower on. There was one thing we hadn't done yet that...I'd always wanted to do but Esme was so against it. Sex in the shower. It was something I'd wanted to try since I was sixteen and my buddy was bragging about doing it with his girl.

"Why don't you go back to bed?" She asked as she stepped into the shower. "You don't need to stay up and watch me get ready."

"I don't think I'm gonna be able to go back to bed." I mumbled as I tried to hide the bulge in my pants. It was almost embaressing, getting excited over something so simple. I felt like a fucking teenager again and I hated being a teenager. "But, I will go put a pot of coffee on."

I padded out into the kitchen and put the coffee onto brew and then got out the frozen waffles from the freezer and heated them up for her. I heard the shower go off and it was another twenty minutes before she emerged from the bathroom only to go into our bedroom. She finally emerged in a sleek black dress with red flats. She looked nice, but it was way overdone for an internship.

"So?" She asked, showing herself off.

"You look beautiful." I sighed, smiling at her. "But you look like we're going on a date. Not going to work."

"I...I don't know what to wear." She sighed. "This is why Alice needs to be here."

"I'm certainly no Alice, but I can help." I told her, pulling her back into our room. I looked through her clothes hanging in the closet and smiled when I saw the dress she'd worn on my birthday before looking through the rest. I finally found a light blue button up with pinstripes running down it along with a navy blue skirt. "Here."

"This doesn't seem fancy enough." She said, eyeing what I'd picked out.

"Bella, you're going to work." I laughed. "Not prom."

"I know,"

"Trust me." I whispered. "I've been in plenty of the same situations. Try it on and if you don't like it, wear the black dress."

"Fine." She huffed, kicking me out of the room. Something she never did so I knew she was nervous about going to work. She came out wearing the outfit I'd suggested with red heels on to match. "You win. This is much better."

"You look good." I laughed, bringing her close to me. "Business attire really suits you."

"Then that makes two of us." She said in a low, husky voice. I leaned in and kissed her as the timer went off. "What'd you make me?"

"_Eggo_ Waffles." I said. "I'm not really awake in the morning to actually make breakfast unless it's premeditated."

"_Eggo's_ are my absolute favorite." She said, sitting down and grabbing the butter. "Thanks."

She ate her breakfast and then she was off to her first day at work. I felt this strong sense of pride as I watched her pull away. My girlfriend. The girl I loved more than anything was slowly starting her life. And she wanted to share that experience with me. She wanted to come home to me and have dinner with me. She told me about the internship before she told anyone.

I wasn't going to scare her away, but I wanted to marry her. I wanted her to be Bella Cullen one day. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

It was a slow, boring day. Without Bella, Edward or school, I had nothing to occupy myself with. So, I went to the library and checked out a book I'd read a million times, but couldn't seem to stop reading. Moby Dick. It was an assignment in my sophomore english class and I'd been in love with it since. For whatever reason, I didn't own my own copy which was silly because I read it at least four times a year.

I was so caught up in my book I didn't even hear Edward's bus ride by.

"Dad?" He asked, making me jump. "What are you doing?"

"Reading." I sighed, closing the book and setting it down. "How was school?"

"Awesome." He told me as we sat down at the kitchen table so he could have a snack. "Mrs. Austin thinks I'll end up with an A for the quarter."

"Edward, that's great." I said, giving him a high five. Mrs. Austin taught math and although he was good, he normally only ended up with B's. Low B's to be exact. "Do you want an orange or apple?"

"Apple with peanut butter please." He said as I began slicing the apple. "It won't be a high A, but an A's an A."

"Right on." I laughed, putting the apple slices in front of him and grabbing the peanut butter from the cabinet. "Bella's going to be so happy and proud of you."

"I know," He beamed. Bella was the closet thing Edward had to a mom and he was taking everything he could get from her.

I put a pot of water on the stove to boil and got a jar of sauce out of the cabinet to start making dinner. Just as I was breaking the pasta to put in the boiling water, Bella's keys jingled in the lock. I pretended not to be anxious about seeing her, but the truth was I missed her. This was the first day since we got back together in March that we'd been apart _all_ day long.

"Smells good." She said as she stepped into the kitchen. "Looks good too." She said, pointing to the salad on the table.

"Well, thanks." I said, trying to sound bragish. "So, how was it?"

"It was good." She said as she sat down. "Boring. It was a lot of introduction things. But, I met the chief editor and he said I'd be started on something by the end of the week."

"That's great, Bells." I beamed. "Did he say what?"

"It could be anything." She shrugged. "Where's Edward?"

"His room." I told her and she stood to go say hello to him. I put the garlic bread in the oven and by the time the timer went off, Bella was changed into a t-shirt and shorts and Edward claimed he was finished with his homework. Edward told Bella about his day and she beamed with pride when he told her the grade he was going to end up with in math.

After dinner, I decided both of them had earned the right for ice creme so we piled into my car and headed to the nearest DQ. After we got back, the sun was beginning to set and Edward was in his room with a piece he wanted to work on some more. I took Bella out onto the balcony and sat down in one of the chairs, pulling her into my lap. We watched as the sky turned from blue to orange to pink and just sat together until it was dark.

"Thank you." She whispered as she nuzzled her head in my neck.

"For what, darling?"

"Everything." She sighed. "I don't know what I would do if you weren't in my life."

"You'd be doing just fine." I assured her confidently. Bella never struck me as the kind of girl who needed a guy to be happy.

"I know, but having you in my life...having both of you in my life has made me feel...alive again." She told me, siting up to look at me. "Ever since James I didn't think I'd ever really be okay again."

"I thought you were fine with Jordan?"

"I was, but that didn't mean I was comfortable." She sighed. "Every time we were alone or every time we would go to a party, I would be afraid something would happen. I was afraid of it happening again. And I have been afraid of that ever since...until you came into my life."

"Bella, I would never hurt you." I assured her. "Ever."

"I know." She cried. I wrapped my arms around her tightly as she cried on my shoulder. We'd talked about what happened once, but she never really talked about it. She told me about it because she wanted me to know her, but I don't think she'd ever really dealt with it. I just held her until her tears had stopped and her shaking had subsided.

"Let's go inside." I whispered, kissing her neck and pushing her up. I took her hand and led her into our bedroom and we both changed into our PJ's before falling into bed together. She put her back to me before pushing back into me and I tightly wrapped my arms around her, trying to make her feel as safe as possible.

"I love you." I whispered. "I'm never going to do anything to hurt you. You'll always be safe with me."

* * *

The next two weeks passed by just the same. But, Edward was finally out for summer vacation and I couldn't be happier. I'd finally have someone to spend time with while Bella was at the paper.

Edward and I got in some quality bonding time. He told me he wanted to try baseball, so I took him to the batting cages to test his skills. He wasn't great, but he showed potential. After he showered, we went to the music store to get him a new book and then out for ice creme where I caught him looking at a table with two girls who looked to be about his age.

"Do you know them, Edward?" I asked as he tried to pretend like he hadn't been starring.

"They go to my school." He sighed. "The blonde one is Kate and the brunette is Carmen."

"Why don't you go say hi?" I asked. Edward wasn't socially awkward, but after changing schools I was worried about him. He hadn't seemed to make any real good friends and he'd been there for almost four months. I didn't want to push him, but he said he wanted a frest start and that's the reason I let him change schools. He didn't seem like he was getting a fresh start.

"They're way out of my league, dad." He said, sounding annoyed.

"Why?"

"They're cheerleaders." He whispered. "I play the piano and am in the schools orchestra."

"So?" I asked. "Your mother was a cheerleader in high school while I spent most of my time in my room with a book. We ended up together."

"And look what happened?" He spat at me, and my stomach turned. Edward had never showed resentment for the divorce. At least not towards me anyway.

"That isn't fair, Edward." I told him. "Her being a cheerleader in high school has nothing to do with the divorce."

"I know," He sighed. "It's just hard."

"I know." I agreed. It would always be hard for him. Knowing his parents didn't want to spend forever together. Knowing that we couldn't keep our vows together. And what made it worse was when Esme died, we weren't together. We didn't get our 'until death do us part' ending. "But, you can still go say hi."

"I'm fine." He lied. We finished our ice creme and made a trip to the grocery store to buy the things on Bella's list. She told me she wanted to make me a romantic dinner, so my mother was going to come get Edward and take him on their own 'date'

Once I got everything put away, Bella was walking through the door, looking tired but happy.

"Another good day?" I asked as I gave her a kiss.

"The best." She sighed, looking blissfully happy. "It wasn't anything special. I observed a writers meeting and shadowed a columnist, but it was just so...perfect. I can't describe it."

"I'm glad you had such a good day."

"I did." She smiled, giving me another hug. "I'm going to go change and then I'll come start making dinner." She said and headed into our bedroom. And hour later, she was pulling a pan out of the over and my apartment never smelled better. She'd made a pot roast, but I had a feeling it was going to be the best roast I'd ever tasted.

"What do you think?" She asked after I dived in.

"Oh my god." I laughed after I swallowed. "This is amazing, Bella."

"I'm glad you like it." She smiled, taking a sip of wine. We finished up and then headed to clean up before desert. "I feel kinda grimy." She sighed as we were cuddled up, watching TV together.

"Why?"

"I don't know." She said. "Just being in the office all day doesn't make me feel very clean after."

"Go take a shower." I told her. I watched as she stood up and headed towards the hallway and turned the corner. Before I could unute the TV, her head was popping around the wall.

"Aren't you going to join me, Carlisle?" She asked, her voice low and seductive. I could feel the gleam in my eyes as I jumped off the couch and followed her to the bathroom. We stripped off each other's clothes before jumping, and I could feel myself hardening beneath her as she ground against me. I squeezed some shampoo into my hand and began scrubbing her scalp. trying to stay focused.

She turned around before I could rinse the shampoo out and smiled at me. She grabbed my neck and pulled me down to her before she pushed me into the wall of the shower. Our kisses grew more and more passionate as I picked her up off the ground and she wrapped her hands around my waist, creating more friction we both so badly wanted.

"Carlisle," She panted as my lips moved down her neck. "I want you."

I gave her a quick smile before setting her back down on the ground. I continued to touch and kiss her everywhere, ignoring the soapy taste in my mouth. I paid extra attention to her breasts and I could tell she appreciated that with the way she was moaning and moving her hips. I turned her around so she was facing the wall and gave her a small push so she would bend over.

She grabbed the towel wrack in the shower for support as I slowly entered her. The bathroom was filled with our moans of pleasure and I saw her gripping the rod for dear life as I pumped into her, slow and shallow.

"Fuck," She whimpered as I began going faster and deeper inside of her. "Carlisle!" She screamed as I pumped rhythmically in and out of her. The bathroom was soon filled with our screams of pleasure, rather than our moans and I could tell she was getting close by the way she was pushing back into me.

"Fuck, Bella." I moaned as I neared my climax as well. "I'm gonna come!" I told her as the door swung open. I stepped back, pulling out of her as Edward came into view, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Oh my god." She whispered as she hid behind me.

"Edward," I gasped. "What are you doing here? I thought you were with grandma?"

"I was but she wasn't feeling good." He shrugged. "Are you guys okay?"

"We're fine, Edward." I sighed, wishing he'd come in thirty seconds later. "Can you give us a minute?"

"Yep." He said as he shut the door. I turned to turn the water off, but Bella stopped at me.

"We're finishing this." She nearly growled as she turned around again. I didn't think it was a good idea, but we were both so close it wouldn't take long. I entered her again and it was nearly impossible to stay quiet. I reached around and began flicking her clit and she was coming within seconds of me being inside her. I was soon to follow and we stood there feeling boneless for a few seconds before turning the water off.

We went into our room and dried off and changed before going to the living room where Edward was not hiding. My mother, however, was sitting on the couch, arms crossed looking more pissed than when I came home and our bumper was nearly ripped completely off of the car.

"Carlisle Joseph Cullen." She almost yelled and I felt Bella jump back away from her.


	24. What Happens Next?

**Chapter Twenty-Four: What Happens Next?**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"Carlisle Joseph Cullen." His mother seethed as we came out into the living room after our 'shower time fun' For as long as we'd been dating and for as much as I spent the night, I was surprised he hadn't caught us sooner. However, the situation was made worse because his mother was here and we were both going to get a mouthful about being irresponsible we were being.

"What the hell were you thinking?" She asked as she stood up and began pacing. "What were you thinking having sex in this apartment where your son lives? What were you thinking having sex with someone you are not married? And what were you thinking having sex in the shower of all places?"

"That we wouldn't get caught." He shrugged, and he looked like he'd shrunk down to his thirteen year old self who'd just been caught kissing a girl.

"What a load of crap, Carlisle." She hissed. I'd seen her mad, but I've never seen her pissed off before.

"It was my idea." I spoke up. It really was and I wasn't going to let Carlisle get yelled at for the next hour. "It was my idea to...do it...in the shower. I should have known Edward would be coming home any minute."

"That doesn't make it any better." She said.

"I know, but please don't lecture him for it." I pleaded. "It was my fault."

"He went along with it." She scoffed. She wasn't going to let this go, no matter whose idea it was. "But, I suppose he was...seduced. I swear to God, Carlisle, if you let this happen again..." She began saying, but trailed off as she tried to catch her breath. She gripped the table for balance as her face began losing color.

"Mom?" Carlisle asked, rushing over to her. "Mom, talk to me."

"It's only...heart burn, Carlisle." She lied as she grabbed the left side of her chest.

"Bella, call 911!" He yelled as he lowered her onto the couch. I ran into our bedroom and grabbed my phone off the nightstand, and dialed for help. After giving them the location, I hung up and went to check on Edward, making sure he didn't go out into the living room.

"Just, stay here." I urged, kissing his forehead and going into the living room where I found Helen on the floor, and Carlisle pumping her chest and giving her CPR.

Help arrived shortly and she was loaded onto a gurney and rolled downstairs. Carlisle went with her and I drove Edward to Emmett's place so he wouldn't have to see her in the hospital. When I arrived at the hospital, Carlisle was pacing around the waiting room, his arms moving from scratching his head to in his pockets. He saw me and finally stopped as he waited for me to come to him.

"Edward's with Emmett." I assured him. "Did you call your father?"

"He's on his way." He cried. "I can't lose her too, Bella. I can't."

"You won't have to." I tried to assure him, but I couldn't be certain. I couldn't promise him his mother would be alright because he would cling to that promise. He finally slumped into a chair and pressed his hands to his face, and I heard him quietly sobbing into his hands. I sat down next to him and began rubbing his back until he turned a fell onto my shoulder.

Edward had told us she didn't feel good. We should have been watching her more closely. I should have noticed she was paler than normal and it was hard for her to stand. I knew the doctors would tell us there wasn't anything we could have done to see it coming, but there was always something we could have done. And we didn't.

Another half hour passed and there was no news from her doctors, but his father came running through the doors, looking frantic and scarred. Carlisle stood as his father approached, getting ready to hug him, but he only shoved him away.

"Where is she?" He demanded to know, looking around as if trying to find her. My heart broke for him.

"They won't let anyone see her." Carlisle whispered. "They're running tests."

"I'm her husband, I'm going to see my wife."

"They won't let you, dad."

"I'm going to see my fucking wife, Carlisle!" He shouted, creating a scene. "Where is she?"

"Room 218." Carlisle sighed, and he looked like he was on the verge of tears again. He fell back into his chair except this time, refused any help I offered to him. His father only came out minutes later, being escorted by a young girl in nurse scrubs. He sat in a chair on the other side of the room, refusing to talk to his son. After an hour of them ignoring each other, I dragged Carlisle away.

"What's going on?" I asked after we'd rounded the corner. "Why is your father acting like this?"

"His wife is in the hospital," He shrugged. "He's bound to be a little stressed."

"This isn't just being stressed, Carlisle." I argued. He wasn't telling me something and I wanted him to feel like he could. "Tell me."

"We haven't really spoken since Esme's funeral." He finally admitted, shocking me. He'd always bragged about how good of a relationship he had with his parents. He always told me the story about visiting Stanford, where his father was a proud alumnist, together and how even with all the moves, his father was always there to help him.

"What?" I asked. "He was at your birthday party..."

"Because he couldn't say no to Edward and because my mother made him." He sighed. "Not for me."

"But, is there a reason..."

"You." He told me. "You're the reason."

"Me?" I asked, trying not to get emotional. "What...why?"

"You're the little 'slut student who's going to ruin everything for me' Or that's what he called you, at least." He huffed. "I told him to go to hell."

"Carlisle,"

"I wasn't going to let him talk about you like that, Bella." He told me. "Weather or not we're in love or not, he doesn't have the right to say that."

"He's your father." I pointed out. "Fix this."

"Bella,"

"Fix this, Carlisle!" I yelled and he backed away from me. I went for coffee for the three of us and when I got back to the waiting room, I could see both of them outside. They were yelling and flailing their arms and Carlisle looked as mad as I'd ever seen him.

"Helen Cullen?" The doctor said as he came through the swinging doors. I addressed him and went outside into the war zone between father and son.

"She isn't yours, Carlisle!" His father yelled. "She's fucking around to get better grades. She's a _WHORE_!"

That word. That one word was the word I was trying to avoid this entire time. By Emmett, his family, Jasper. It was one of the most hurtful things I'd ever been called, and it wasn't true at all. Carlisle and I had a honest relationship, we weren't just having sex anymore. He claimed we were never just having sex.

"The doctor said you can go and see her." I finally spoke up, getting both of their attention. His father angrily pushed passed me and went inside, meeting the doctor. Carlisle just stood there, taking deep breaths and fighting off tears. "Please don't you have a heart attack too." I tried laughing, moving closer to him.

"Please tell me you didn't hear any of that." He pleaded, but refused to look at me.

"I got here just in time to hear your father call me a whore." I said, trying to make it look like I was just going to brush it off.

"Jeeze," He sighed. "I'm really sorry, Bella."

"Don't be." I sighed, pushing him away as he came in for a hug. "Just go be there for your mom."

And he did. He went inside and disappeared with the nurse he took him through the swinging doors. I just stood there as tears filled my eyes, and just cried. I cried for his mother who was in the hospital. For his father and their broken relationship. For myself. No matter what we did if this ever came out, I would probably always be labeled as a whore. Nothing would stop them.

I stayed in the waiting room, playing solitaire on my phone, even though I'd always sucked at it. I checked on Edward and like I assumed, he was completely fine and sleeping soundly on the McCarty's couch. I texted Alice even though there was no way she was awake. It was nearly one a.m. I did everything in my power to keep my mind off the fact that I was tearing a father and son apart.

Finally, at two Carlisle came out from behind the swinging doors. He looked even more tired than before and just worn out. I stood and walked over to him and the sad smile he gave me told me she was okay. Whatever it was wasn't life threatening and she would be fine.

"She's okay." He sighed, sounding relieved. "She had a minor heart attack and they were able to stabilize her and by the looks of her tests, she's perfectly healthy otherwise."

"Do they know what caused it?" I asked.

"A small blockage." He explained. "It just built up, cutting off blood circulation."

"How is she now?"

"Knocked out." He laughed. "They say she'll be asleep for the rest of the night."

"You stay." I told him because I knew the next thing was going to say we should go home. "Stay here and I'll pick up Edward tomorrow morning before bringing him here. I'll go home."

"What about work tomorrow?" He asked.

"I'll call in sick or something."

"Bella,"

"Just let me do this, Carlisle." I pleaded. He'd done so much for me, I wanted to return the favor by doing this one task for him. He finally agreed and gave me a kiss on the cheek before disappearing again behind the swinging doors. As I buckled my seat belt and turned onto the main road, I decided against going home and turned left instead of left.

I drove my way towards Hutchinson River Parkway and just continued to drive until I entered the small borough of Addison. I found the street and house I was looking for and just parked the car. If I rang the doorbell, I was being beyond rude. It was nearly four a.m. I didn't want to disturb anyone. But, I needed Alice and I decided to screw being polite and got out of my car.

I put my hand out and rung the doorbell and backed away. Thankfully, the annoyed person who answered the door was Alice.

"Bella?" She asked, wiping away the sleep from her eyes. "What are you..."

"I needed to talk to you?" I nearly cried and she let me in. She set a pot of coffee on to brew and gave me a cookie her mother had made that night. She sat me down and poured me a cup and I began telling her everything that had happened that night. From the shower sex, which she couldn't get enough of, to overhearing what his father had said me.

"He called you a whore?" She asked, sounding completely disgusted. "How dare he. Doesn't he know what you've done for Dr. Cullen?"

"Yeah, I'm the whore who's going to strip him of everything he's worked for." I sighed.

"Does he know you also made his son smile and gave his grandson a person he can go to for advice?"

"No." I shrugged. "He doesn't care. He only thinks we're sleeping together for my grade."

"But you aren't." She argued. "And you never were sleeping with him for a grade."

"I know that. You know that. Carlisle knows that." I agreed. "But his father is being stubborn. He doesn't wanna hear it."

"Then make him listen."

"His wife is laying in the hospital, Alice." I reminded her. "I don't think this is the best time to win him over."

"Point taken." She said. "But who said you had to do this now? All I'm saying is you aren't going anywhere and Carlisle won't be letting you go for a while. So he'd better get over it."

Alice and I stayed up for the rest of the night, catching up and gossiping. Jasper had flown up last week and met her parents. They got along great and Alice's mother was still saying she heard wedding bells for the two of them. I couldn't disagree with her. Finally, at eight I got back in my car and headed back to the Brooklyn where Emmett's place was.

"Hi, Bella." Rosalie greeted when she opened the door. She was bigger than I'd ever seen her, but she was still gorgeous and smaller than any other girl I've seen nine months pregnant with twins.

"Hey," I smiled. "Where's Edward?"

"Asleep." She sighed. "We let him sleep...he was up pretty late last night."

"She's doing okay." I assured her. "A mild heart attack." I explained as Emmett came out of the nursery with the baby in his hands. When he saw me, he stopped and looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Getting Edward."

"It's fine if you wanna ruin Carlisle's career, but don't bring me and my family down with you." He nearly yelled, waiking Edward up and causing the baby to fuss.

"I'll go wait in the car." I sighed, holding back tears as I ran out of the apartment and down to the car. Edward came down and thankfully didn't say anything as I started the drive towards the hospital.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to my dad." He said as he got out of the car. I walked him through the hospital and watched through the window as him and Helen hugged each other, tears of joy streaming down their cheeks. Carlisle and his father were standing on opposite sides of the bed as they watched the two and finally, Carlisle looked up and saw me.

"How is she?" I asked as the door closed.

"Fine," He smiled. "They're going to keep her here for about a week for observation and to be safe, but she's going to be fine."

"That's good." I smiled.

"Could you do me a favor?"

"Sure."

"Can you go to their place and get her some things?" He asked. "PJ's, sweats and t-shirts. A book or two."

"I can do that." I told him. He gave me the address and directions and I headed off towards Queens. I used the house key Carlisle told me would be in the flower bed on the porch rail and let myself in. I could tell that this was Helen's home. It was brightly colored, but nothing abnoxious. The details were intricate and Edward and Carlisle's face were everywhere.

I walked up to the second floor and found her bedroom. I grabbed her PJ's and some comfortable lounging clothes, along with _Emma_ and _Jane Eyre. _My two favorites. As I was looking for a bag to put the things in, I noticed a picture sitting on their dresser top. I moved closer and pursed my lips when I saw a very young, happy looking Carlisle on his wedding day to Esme.

I picked up the frame, careful not to leave a print on the glass, and just starred at it. They looked so happy together. So in love. Esme's hair was cut in a bob style and her hair was much lighter than the most recent pictures I'd seem of her and Edward together. Carlisle's hair was also lighter, but his hair was much longer, something I couldn't help but giggle at.

I began to think if we'd ever have this. The engagement. Wedding. A family of our own. I was scared of it happening, but I did want it. But, even if I was graduated could the school punish him? Make him resign? I didn't want to have to deal with those quesions, I just wanted to be with him. Then I was even more unsure of what our future had in store for us.

I set the picture back down where I found it and finished packing the bag. I headed back to the hospital and Carlisle's dad was getting coffee, so I was allowed into the room. I gave her a hug and my well wishes before his father came back. I backed out and headed back to the apartment.

Finally, at noon Carlisle and Edward were padding in the door. Edward went straight to his room and Carlisle slumped down on the couch next to me.

"That was the last house I lived in before going to school." He told me. His father was moving around all the time, and he'd lived in ten different houses and cities by the time he went to college. "That was the house I had my graduation party at. The house I came home to for breaks. The house Esme went into labor at."

"It was a nice house." I mused.

"You didn't look in my room?" He asked. "My mother keeps it as practically a shrine to me."

"I didn't want to take too long." I lied. I peeked inside, but I didn't want to go into his room without him there.

"I know you saw that picture, Bella." He sighed. "My mother told me it didn't matter that we were divorced, she said 'It's your wedding photo, Carlisle. I'm keeping it, Case close.' I didn't argue with her. She'd won. As always."

"It's fine."

"I'm in this, Bella." He whispered, turning my head to look at him. "I'm in this for the long run. If you want."

"It's getting more and more complicated." I cried. "Your father is refusing to speak to you."

"My father is stubborn, Bella." He told me. "More than me."

"At least I know where you get it from."

"He'll come around once he realizes you aren't the...whore who's trying to ruin everything." He said, trying to laugh. "But I'm in. I am all in."

"Me too."


	25. In the Air

**Chapter Twenty-Five: In the Air**

* * *

**Carlisle's POV**

_One Year Later_

"You ready?" I asked as we walked down the stairs together. Bella's senior year was starting today. Edward was starting the seventh grade in a week. Time was flying too fast and I wasn't sure I was keeping up with it.

"Yes." She squealed. "I haven't seen our apartment since I left Alice alone with it on Friday, but I trust her. I bet theres flowers everywhere."

"That's a safe bet." I laughed. "All from Jasper probably."

"Oh yeah." She agreed. "Where else would they come from?"

Bella decided she didn't want the double major. She tried it for her sophomore year-probably to please me-and dropped it her junior year. It was even harder to see her on campus since she wasn't in my class anymore, but we made it work. We'd meet in the library, in a secluded woods. Anywhere that wasn't a major student/falculty hot spot.

We got in our seporate cars and headed off to campus. I parked in my usual spot, got my coffee and headed to my office. Maddie was still pursuing me, but she'd backed off a lot when she started sleeping with the head of the department. Life was finally falling into place. I sat down at my desk and felt excited for students to start filing in.

"You gotta sec?" Emmett asked as he popped his head through the door. Emmett and Rosalie welcomed their twin girls, Charlotte and Claire a year ago and their family was thriving. Rosalie's family surprised them a bought them a small house in Brooklyn where the family could life comfortably, but it was still afortable. Rosalie was doing online classes so when the kids were over with, she could go back to work.

"Yeah, whats up?" I asked, shutting my laptop.

"Arianna's birthday is coming up." He reminded me. "Rosalie wanted me to hand you this." He said, giving me a pink envelope. I opened it and it was an invite to her second birthday, and Bella's name was also on the invite. "You really want Bella there?"

"The dean won't be around." He shrugged. He'd given up on fighting me about Bella and just gave into the idea that we weren't going to be breaking up anytime soon.

"We'll be there." I smiled. We talked for a little bit longer before my class began filing in.

Here we go again.

The day went faster than expected and I was glad to be going home. My mother had made a full recovery and was doing better than ever. And my dad...my dad finally gave in two months ago when he realized Bella really wasn't going anywhere. My life was slowly falling into place. Bella was by my side. Edward was doing great in school, popular too. My parents were around to support and encourage me like they'd done for my whole life.

If a perfect world existed, I was living in it.

Edward was at his meeting for soccer so I had the apartment to myself. Bella was celebrating a new year of school with Alice so once, my house was peaceful. I changed into shorts, grabbed Moby Dick...an original copy Bella found me for my thirty-fifth birthday...and sat down with a glass of wine. Halfway through Breakfast, my phone began ringing.

"Hello?" I asked since the number didn't come up on Caller ID

"Dr. Carlisle Cullen?" A female voice asked on the other line.

"Yes?"

"This is Debbie Connell from the University of Pittsburgh's Department of Psychology." She introduced. "Do you have a few minutes?"

"I do, yes." I told her politely. I knew what she wanted. Pitt had been calling for years, offering me a job. But, I had to be cordial, even if I was going to decline them. After she explained the position available and all the benefits that would come with it, I politely turned her down and hung up the phone. I loved NYU too much to leave. I loved New York too much to leave.

"Hi, dad!" Edward called as he walked into the apartment. He had grown up a lot in the last year. His voice had deepened slightly, he no longer was shy in his school, and starting going out of sports, and he kept up with the piano. I had never been prouder.

"How was the meeting?" I asked as I moved to the kitchen where he was getting into the cookies Bella had made. "Not before dinner. Apple or pear?"

"The meeting was the same thing they always are." He sighed, picking up the pear and taking a bite. "They talked about the physicals, the schedule was handed out, and how much it's going to coast."

"How much?" I asked. It was overly expensive, but Edward loved it and I wasn't going to say no to him.

"About three hundred bucks." He sighed. It was something we completely agreed on and he was always offering to do chores around the house to help contribute something.

"That's not as bad as baseball." I laughed. Baseball season was a mess for us. He started on his homework as I started dinner. Dinner nights when Bella wasn't here weren't as good, but my pasta was in its prime. After dinner, Edward helped me with the dishes and we watched TV together before he jumped in the shower. He was a little social butterfly this summer...he hadn't had a free day in weeks.

I took the time to give Bella a call. They both had classes the next day, I knew they weren't going to be drunk.

"Hey you." She cooed as she answered the phone. She sounded a little tipsy, but nothing she couldn't handle.

"Hi," I sighed. Just the sound of her voice calmed me down. "How many flowers?"

"I'd say over four dozen." She laughed. "_Maybe_ a little less."

"That Jasper." I laughed. I knew he was getting ready to pop the question. He had 'the look' in his eyes every time he looked at her and Bella told me they'd never been closer. "How were your classes?"

"Not bad." She sighed. "It's not going to be an easy year, Carlisle."

"I didn't think it would be." My senior year wasn't horrible, but it didn't help when Esme was pregnant during the week of finals. "You'll manage."

"I know." She agreed. We talked for another hour before she had to hang up. Eight thirty's were our enemies this semester. She had it twice a week, so she'd most likely be at home on those days.

I didn't care though. We were so good it was scary. I didn't like it, but we could go days at a time without even speaking to each other. It was hard, but we both pulled through. I didn't even have that with Esme.

Life was just...good.

* * *

"What's on the agenda today?" Emmett asked as we got coffee on a brisk morning in mid-Ocotber.

"I have a meeting with Dean Gregory." I sighed.

"Why?" He asked, sounding alarmed.

"Not sure." I shrugged, taking a sip of my coffee. "Something about a student." I told him and literally all the color drained from his face. "Em?"

"He knows."

"Know's what?"

"Wake up, Carlisle." He seethed. "Dean Gregory wants to see you about a student? He knows about Bella."

"No." I disagreed. "We've been together for two years. If he hasn't caught on by now, he never will."

"Carlisle,"

"Emmett, relax." I sighed as I walked up the steps to my building. I tried to shake off what Emmett had said, but somehow I couldn't shake it I was jittery all morning and I was shaking as I walked to Administrative building. The secretary told me to wait and I sat, shaking my legs while she went to go and get him.

"Dr. Cullen, go ahead." She said as she came back into the lobby. He didn't know. He _couldn't_ know. I lightly knocked on the door and when I opened the door, he did not look happy. He was leaning back in his big leather chair, arms crossed with three manilla envelopes on his desk in front of him. He gestured for me to sit and I became even more nervous.

_He knew._

"Dr. Cullen." He sighed. "Have you ever read the handbook for this university?"

"Yes, sir."

"So, you know the rules?" He asked. "You get two sick days a month. Two week vacation per semester. You can't date a student who attends this university!" He yelled.

Bella and I were screwed.

"Sir, I don't..."

"Don't talk to me like I'm so moron, Dr. Cullen." He sighed. "You're smarter than that. I know you and Miss. Swan have been having affairs."

"How?"

"I can't tell you who." He sighed. "It was a professor though. Someone in your department."

Maddie.

He sat up and handed me the manilla envelopes, encouraging me to open them. When I did, I pulled out a handful of papers and turned to see they were pictures of Bella and I. Some were in the library from this year where we were stupidly holding hands under the table. Pictures of us smiling at each other as we got coffee. Us sitting on a bench together. A picture of the two of us in the woods, my hands on her lower back, my lips on hers.

"It gets better." He smirked as he handed me another envelope. I opened it and two CD's spilled out. "Let me." He smiled, as he put the CD in his laptop. It had no pictures, only sound. But, the sounds were of Bella and I having sex.

"Oh my god." I sighed as he ejected the CD and put the other one in. It was surveillance video's of Bella and I in the hallway of my building during the summer months, holding hands, pawing at each other's clothes. "I get it!" I snapped, slouching my seat.

"You are both going to be kicked off of campus." He told me. "You'll be asked to resign and she's going to be expelled."

"No, don't punish her for this." I fought. She'd worked too hard. She had more to lose than I did. "I'll go. I'll resign, just please don't let this ruin her life."

"It already has, Cullen!" He yelled. "If I do this for you then ever professor gets caught with his pants around his ankles with a student, I'll have to let it go for all of them."

"Please, I'll do anything." I pleaded. "Just let her stay." I begged. He sat there for a long moment and finally spoke up.

"Fine. I'll let her stay." He told me. "If you go, never see her until she's done here and if I catch you two together...she'll be kicked out of NYU."

"We have to..."

"Breakup." He finished for me. "I would suggest getting another job out of the city. It'll only be harder for you two."

"Yes," I agreed. I had to end things with Bella. Everything we'd been working for was being ripped from us. "Can you just...show her the pictures? She doesn't need the CD's."

"Fine." He sighed. "You have a week, Cullen. I'll call her in on Friday."

"Yes, sir." I whispered, grabbing my bag and walking out of his office. I made my way to the bathroom and threw up in one of the stalls. Bella and I had to end things. And what made it worse, I couldn't talk or see her for seven months...at least.

"This can't be happening." I whispered as I sat on the floor of the dirty floor.

* * *

That week had to be the worst week of my life. I had to pretend like nothing was happening in front of Bella, so things went on as normal. She came over and spent the night. She helped Edward with math. We made dinner together.

All while I was making plans for Edward and I to move to Pittsburgh. I found a small house outside of the city so he could go to a good school. Made sure the school had a good sports program as well as music. I was gathering boxes so we could start packing up. Edward, Emmett and my folks were the only people who knew what was going on and thankfully, no one said 'I told you so'

They should have though. I should have known better than to get involved with a student. My own student. It was a mistake. But, I couldn't regret anything we'd done. My time with Bella was worth this. I loved her. I loved her more than anything in the world and she was well worth the risk. I'd always thought so and always would.

"I have a meeting with the dean tomorrow." She told me as we were cleaning up the dishes from dinner. "Any idea what that's about?"

"I can't say." I told her, not bothering to look at her. We finished cleaning up, and since Edward was at soccer, I pulled her into the bedroom with me.

We took our time that night. Removing each other clothes slowly and kissing every inch of each other. When I finally entered her, we both moaned loudly and accepted our time together. I was making a silent promise that I could be back again for her, and this wasn't going to be goodbye. We came together and fell limp in each other's arms.

"I love you." I whispered after she'd fallen asleep, kissing her forehead. I fell asleep in her arms for the last time, and was on the verge of tears when my alarm went off.

Once she was gone, Edward and I began putting the things in boxes. It wasn't much, I had stashed most of the boxes in the moving truck as we went and my father was bringing it over later on. We packed up our rooms and the living room along with the kitchen. My father and mother arrived shortly after we were finished and began putting the rest of the stuff in the truck.

"I'm gonna miss this place." Edward sighed as we packed his sports equitment. I felt terrible. Edward had just gotten close with people, but it what I had to do. He was being a good sport, but I knew he was angry with me. I understood completely.

At noon, there was a soft knock on the door and I knew Bella had her meeting already.

"Hey," She whispered cautiously.

"Hi, Bella." I sighed, stuffing my hands in my pockets."We need to talk."

"No." She cried, letting the first tear fall. "No, don't do this."

"Bella," I sighed. I didn't want this to be too painful for either of us.

"This can't be it." She cried. "We can't be over."

"We have to be or you're going to be kicked out of NYU." I told her. "I'm not letting that happen."

"So you're taking the blame then?" She asked. "You're leaving the city? To go where?"

"Pittsburgh." I whispered.

"Pittsburgh?" She asked, sounding alarmed. "You aren't even staying in New York?"

"I was offered a job at Pitt." I told her. "I took it after my meeting."

"You've known this entire week, haven't you?" She asked. "You knew you were leaving and you knew I wasn't going to be kicked off."

"Yes."

"I can come with you." She argued. "I can transfer."

"No."

"Pitt is a great school, and they have..."

"No, Bella!" I yelled. "I didn't resign from NYU so you could follow me." I told her sternly. "You aren't coming with me!"

"Will we at least be able to see each other?"

"No." I whispered. "The deal was you could stay if we didn't have any contact until you were graduated."

"None at all?" She asked and I only looked at the ground. "So this is really it?"

"Yeah," I whispered, holding back tears. I looked up and met eyes with her and we both just broke down. I pulled her into a tight hug, crying into her shoulder. The girl I loved wasn't going to be mine anymore and I only had myself to blame.

After hours of just holding each other, it was time for Edward and I to leave for Pittsburgh. I watched as they hugged and cried together and felt even worse than I did before. I wasn't the only one losing Bella. Edward was losing her as well and this was going to kill him. But, Dean Gregory didn't say anything about Edward speaking to her, and I figured we could work that out.

"We can be together May 10." I whispered as she cried on my shoulder as we said goodbye.

"That's seven and a half months away." She cried. "Let's just say goodbye. Get it over with."

"Bella..."

"I love you, Carlisle." She said, her tears gone and her voice emotionless. I had broken her. Really broken her this time.

"I love you too, Bella." I cried as I gave her one last kiss. I got in the car and watched her as she watched us pulling away. Edward only looked out the window as I starred blankly ahead. This wasn't how it was supposed to end. We were supposed to be together forever. I was planning on proposing. Now, I had to wait seven months before I could even speak to her and by that time, she might have already moved on.

By the time May 10 came, Bella might be with someone else. There wasn't anything I could do about that.


	26. Author's Note!

**Author's Note!**

If you're reading this,_** Hear You, Hear Me**_ has come to an end. I know what you're thinking...lame ending what was the point of reading all that? But I was thinking if I kept writing this particular story, it would be like forty chapters. So I have decided to split the story and am going to continue it...it'll be the same story and it will pick up right where I left off with Carlisle leaving and Bella being left at NYU. So please do no fret, this particular part is over, but the story has a lot more to be added and written.

I haven't decided yet, but the story will either be called **Trees** or **Can't Go Back**

You are probably all wondering where I get some of these titles/chapter titles. I get them all from songs that fit the chapter. This story, Hear You, Hear Me came from the song Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World. Trees is by Twenty One Pilots and Can't Go Back is from Can't Go Back Now by the Weepies. If you want, go look them up and tell me which you think would work better, **Trees** or **Can't Go Back**.

Thanks for keeping up with _**Hear You, Hear Me**_! And stay tuned for the second half!


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